Can OCD change your feelings???

Hi all. I’m still really struggling with harm themes towards my dog and I wondered if anyone else has had this happen. The images, thoughts, everything that I get - they all go against anything I’ve ever felt towards her. At all. But now, it feels like that’s my new normal - and my actual values, like loving her, not wanting to harm her, feel fake. I don’t know how else to explain it. It feels like I don’t care, don’t love her and wouldn’t be bothered by harming her yet I know that’s not true in anyway. But it scares the hell out of me. Like I walk around with it all day and have to remind myself why it’s not something I would want to do, vs the other way around! It is the worst thing. Am I alone?

Ellasmama

Date posted: 1y

I also find that every single thing I’ve ever not wanted to do or found disgusting to think about, suddenly feels like I would want to do that. Is this normal?

Ocdsucks56

Date posted: 1y

@Ellasmama Yes, I am currently in the same boat and it’s eating me alive. I feel like I would never get better because ocd is telling it’s not ocd and it feels so real. I’m not sure how to explain it.

hopefulxmess

Date posted: 1y

I understand this. My ocd tries to convince me that I feel a certain way about people that I don’t feel. I know it isn’t true and that it isn’t at all how I feel but the ocd has me questioning myself. It’s really upsetting and frustrating. You’re not alone. 💕

lizaaa

Date posted: 1y

I feel like this with my family or friends,I think maybe because I somehow normalize these thoughts and not feeling guilty sometimes

Ellasmama

Date posted: 1y

@lizaaa Does it make you feel like you don’t care about them??? Or like you’d hurt them and not care? It’s so hard. It goes against me completely.

lizaaa

Date posted: 1y

@Ellasmama Yeah and like I would snap and harm them

maxowens

Date posted: 1y

this is personal experience so feel free to take it with a grain of salt but i think the normalization is a good thing! the fact that it feels like it’s becoming more normal would make me think your brain is becoming more normalized to these thoughts it general. now what’s left is your reaction. it seems to already be having less of an immediate affect on you, so the ruminating is all that’s left. break the cycle! a good tip i got was to allow myself to ruminate once within a certain time period. so lets say you get this thought 50 times an hour. the first time it pops up, allow yourself to go in it. the next 49 times, simply remind yourself, “i have already went over this and going over it again is futile.” it’s hard to stop ruminating completely so trying to limit it will be a good first step!

Ellasmama

Date posted: 1y

@maxowens I get that because I’ve heard it before, but I also am scared because it just feels like the thought still bothers me but I wouldn’t care if I did it, not so much that I’ve gotten used to it and know it’s not a threat. It’s so horrible. I’ve been doing okay with rumination- today was a better day, until about an hour ago the thoughts hit me hard and now I’m panicking.

maxowens

Date posted: 1y

@Ellasmama sorry for the late reply, what i think you have to sit with or accept as a possibility is that maybe you wouldn’t care. yes it feels horrible but as long as you continue to react as strongly as you do, your brain will continue to send you that info whether it perceives it as a threat or for other reasons. you cannot will a fear away. here’s the truth: whether or not you would care, which i don’t want to push against or with, you are not your thoughts and you have the power to not follow urges or thoughts. maybe consider writing down a worse case scenario if you did in-fact not care, as detailed as possible, and then sit with that scenario without attempting to fight against it. ie: “no i don’t think that” “no i wouldnt. instead you could respond with “maybe i do maybe i dont feel that way” ”it’s possible” i’m not a therapist, just have some experience in working through thoughts with a therapist. so if that doesn’t help don’t keep trying, but it will NEVER feel good at the beginning when you do these things

lu22

Date posted: 24w

I really need advice harm ocd

I know we’re not meant to ask for reassurance but I’m currently not in therapy and I need help, it feels scarily real and I feel like I’m not anxious or worried over the thoughts. I had stabbing thoughts about someone I care about and I started deliberately imagining them to test myself to see if I hate it or not but instead it felt like I knew how it feels to stab someone and like the feeling of doing that physical action and I swear it is the worst thing I have ever experienced as well I had moments where it felt like It was about to happen or I keep getting this really sick ‘happy’ feeling that I want to do that and I don’t know what that is but it feels incredibly real almost like I was getting a happy feeling or wanted to do that thing and jsut wasn’t giving into it and now I’m thinking I’m actually evil and it feels like I get a pleasurable feeling over the thought of doing that and would want to do it?? Because I ‘like’ the feeling of doing it or it would ‘feel’ good I swear I really don’t know what to do it feels incredibly real I feel like I can’t even say that I’m worried or scared because I feel like I’m lying and actually want it and have evil desires I’m really concerned, I have never done anything bad in my life, I feel like what if through experimenting and imagining the thoughts to test myself I have suddenly discovered I like it because it feels extremely real that I would ‘enjoy’ or like Doing that evil thing and it’s really concerning, i don’t understand I was fine a few days ago and suddenly I’m experiencing this? Is it possible to suddenly become evil i don’t want to be evil, but what if i like it and my desire to not be evil isn’t as strong as this ‘happy feeling’ i wish I can be normal I don’t want any of this please but I swear I feel like there is something wrong with me, I think this is the worst I’ve ever felt, like it feels like I want it and would enjoy it and it’s making me feel really worried but at the same time I don’t even know if I’m worried please help I need advice

Astjtoju13!

Date posted: 23w

Harm ocd

Someone please help me I’m having intrusive thoughts of hurting my pets and I’m really scared of myself and I want these thoughts to go away. Can someone please help me I’m scared and I don’t know if I’m a monster

user36373738

Date posted: 13w

Has anyone felt

I’m really anxious because I know my ocd is really bad right now so I shouldn’t try to figure it out cause my thinking is a mess but I’ve been having feelings of like I’m not sure if I love him anymore or worrying that I haven’t felt a lot like numb (a lot because ocd has been getting worse and worse) and thinking of like how I’ve been focusing on the negatives and only been looking at him through that lens and analyzing and also feeling like I don’t want this anymore. Basically just like negative thinking in feeling like I’m really scared it’s that it’s I don’t love him cause I don’t want it to be over and the thought of having someone replace him makes me ill. But like it feels like I’m not seeing him how I used to and it makes me upset. Today I was near someone I was like oh this person is cute and then I was thinking that the possibility of meeting someone new sounds exciting and now I’m freaking out because this in combination with feeling like maybe I don’t love him anymore is bad. Also my thoughts keep changing. and like sometimes it feels like I don’t care at all and this has happened but like worst it’s ever been and then other times I’m like I do care I do still feel. I’m just really anxious has anyone else felt this before and it was still ocd? 😭😭

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Can OCD change your feelings???

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