Make you feel like you actually do? I’ve always checked my feelings to try and find my “real” ones and now…when I check, my brain runs away with the thought and makes me feel like I’d actually enjoy hurting my dog. Please help.
You can’t rely on your feelings. It’s tough to sit with the uncertainty of maybe you do want to hurt your dog, but that’s what you need to do. You need to practice sitting with the uncertainty that maybe you do want to hurt your dog instead of running away. That doesn’t mean you’re going to hurt it but regardless that’s a way of practicing ERP with those thoughts.
@Anonymous My therapist has told me the same thing, but I think my problem is that in my head it feels like there’s a certainty that I would do these things. And that’s what I’m fighting against. Is that still one of OCD’s tricks?
Have you watched any of Chrissie Hodges YouTube- they’re very helpful and her most recent one is about emotions in ocd which you may find helpful as she addresses the checking of emotions and that it isn’t only anxiety that drives the ocd cycle. I’ve found that checking and testing my emotions rarely gives me the answer I want and instead drives me into a kind of hell of doubt. I try to remember feelings are not fact, an absence of a feeling is also not a fact. Also feelings are not predictors of the future.
@Shi47 I haven’t but I will! Thank you. I will check that out immediately. I find that’s kind of what I’m talking about here, too. I feel like I did it so much that now it actually feels like I would do something, not the answer I want. The “hell of doubt” is a great way to put it. I’m trying to remember that too, but it’s hard. Feelings feel real.
@Ellasmama They really do. Harm ocd is a new (and particularly horrendous) theme for me and one thing that’s helped me somewhat is remembering that in my previous themes or worries it felt so true as well (and it wasn’t). It feels real because ocd wants your attention.
Fear is from OCD and that sounds like when you check your feelings you are giving the intrusive thoughts a value they do not deserve. They are intrusive because they go against your values and wishes so letting them pass and going on with what you we’re doing and not checking your real feelings would teach your brain that those intrusive thoughts are just not worth your time or too much attention.
@ivrec I’ve tried not to, but I always relied on that automatic feeling of “omg no!” With that gone, it just feels like I would or I want to. Even though it’s something I’ve never had any desire to do. I’m not sure if I can ever get past this. I don’t know how to stop checking/battling against the thoughts a little because that feels like it’s the only thing stopping me from doing them. It’s like my brain wants to. I am so scared for her safety. I wish I could just let it go and give them no power, but….anything else I feel towards her feels fake and this feels real.
@Ellasmama Plus, if I see anything (and literally anything can be a trigger at this point) it starts to feel like I would do that to her. Literally every horrible thing. And it’s an urgent, like, “you’re doing this” kind of feeling. I don’t even feel like it’s ocd at this point.
Does anyone else’s intrusive thoughts at times make them ‘feel’ things? Like if you have an intrusive thought about your boyfriend you then begin to feel you don’t want to be with him. And afterward you feel extreme guilt and shame because you do love him so much. I used to call them “fake feelings”
I keep getting a shock feeling and shivers and feel intense over the thoughts but I’m still not convinced that I don’t like the thoughts and keep deliberately imagining the thoughts to see my reaction. I’ve been doing this since one time when I imagined the thought it felt like ‘I like the feeling of imagining doing that action’ like it felt as if when I imagining doing that horrible thing that I liked the feeling of squashing someone’s face with a pillow (the thoughts are about smothering) now I’m worried I like the feeling of suffocating someone and it’s just awful I don’t believe myself anymore I’ve been having so many crying episodes but I’m not convinced and keep bringing on the thoughts and now I’m genuinely believing that its possible I ‘like the feeling of doing that’ and I feel like I’m in hell, I don’t want to like the feeling of doing something horrible and I’m worried I get a good feeling from imagining doing that or that I would like the feeling of doing that and it’s driving me insane I’m so worried. Recently I keep getting a jittery feeling and anxious every time I have the thought but My head is convincing me that I’m some how ‘deliberately’ making myself anxious and I’m not actually anxious and I secretly like the thoughts and want to do that but for some reason I’m ‘pretending to be worried or anxious’ please can someone help I’ve been worrying for days I really don’t want to like the feeling of doing something horrible but I’m worried it’s true 😞😞 please help say if I’m getting some sick good feeling from imagining that and it’s really scary but I don’t know it it’s my fight or flight and I’m confused or whether because I’m imagining the thought in so much detail combined with the intense anxiety makes it feel like an ‘urge’ and then it’s somehow translated into ‘feels like I like the feeling’ I’m really worried I don’t know what to do please help
I’m so worried about being a literal psychopath. I keep reading that psychopaths start out hurting animals. I made some mistakes a kid. I was mean to my animals and for some reason it didn’t register that they felt pain. I never killed any animal I was just rough. I haven’t done anything since i was a kid. I get very emotional anytime I see an animal in pain and suffering. I even consider veterinary school after I graduated high school but chose not to pursue that because I have such strong emotions towards suffering animals/euthanasia. I could never see myself taking an animals life even if it was for the better. I currently live surrounded by animals and see them more as family than pets. They are my literal babies. I’m worried because I at times looked back to the things I did and wish I never did it but it’s never stuck so much with me until recently. It’s all I think about and I literally wanna punch myself and wish someone would’ve just beat me when I did that stuff. I’m worried it means I’m a psycho just waiting to break. I’ve been having harm ocd type stuff and have been ruminating and it’s all I think about is being a psycho. I feel like everything has been a lie since my childhood. I’m questioning my own emotions and everything and now I feel numb. I don’t wanna hurt anyone or anything but I constantly feel like a psycho and it feels so real. I always enjoyed watching true crime stuff with my bf and now that I know about all this I’m freaking tf out. Everything feels so real like it’s already happened or is gonna happen if I try to forget about it.
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