[Deleted]
- Date posted
- 46w
TexasOCD41TexasOCD41
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 46w
I would recommend against a therapist who does not specialize in OCD. I had one that gave me so much reassurance it made my OCD worse. When you let your feelings dictate your decisions you are not thinking rationally but emotionally and that's not always a bad thing but when you suffer from OCD it needs to be reconsidered. Everything thinks their OCD is unique or different, everyone thinks their OCD is the exception and therefore can't be OCD but must mean something true about themselves. I used to think perhaps if I addressed some past traumas or tried to figure out the " behind the scenes" it would stop my OCD or give me relief but turns out, that was just compulsive thinking and what I really needed to do was lean into what was uncomfortable, what I didn't want to do and tackle OCD head on. I think you should try to work with an OCD therapist first and really work on TOCD being your root issue. You can always go to a nonspecialized therapist later if this approach doesn't work. BUT if you really are just experiencing TOCD, and you go down the rabbit hole of a non-OCD therapist, you might do more harm than good and confuse yourself even more. Address OCD first, THEN if you still feel the need to explore your sexuality you can do so from a clean baseline and have no distractions.
alissaaalissaa
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 46w
@TexasOCD41 Yup you said this way better than I did. Completely agree.
alissaaalissaa
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 46w
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. If it’s in the context of OCD, I would say this is compulsive if you’re going to this therapist for reassurance or to seek answers about what they think your gender identity is. Does it feel urgent and anxiety provoking to solve? Does the idea of not being cisgender make you anxious, or does it bring you a sense of peace? Think egodystonic vs syntonic. I personally do not have experience with this, so all I can do is provide you context from the OCD/anxiety standpoint. Wishing you peace and love.
KontheiliKontheili
- Date posted
- 45w
I’ll try not to give reassurance about the bra thing but let’s be honest, there are numerous women who don’t like wearing bras because they are uncomfortable lol. There’s no need to make a big deal over a bra but again when experiencing ocd you can’t even control these types of thoughts. I understand what you’re saying about not mentioning ocd to see what you can get out of the therapy session but let’s be truthful, you are seeking reassurance rather that exploration. When it’s this intense and obsessive in nature it’s not really indicating exploration and experimentation but rather needing an answer right now. And that’s ocd in nature. I really agree with a previous comment which says that is better to deal with the ocd first and then everything else. That’s the advice I took back then before I sought therapy. Get ocd out of the way first and then if the feelings persist try something else. Don’t forget there is a possibility you’ll get over this and feel comfortable in who you are afterwards. Or maybe not. But please seriously consider what the other user commented about therapy! I found it such good advice. Take care 💞
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aubreyvm
- Date posted
- 21w
TOCD
This is so extremely difficult, i’ve never experienced having thoughts of being a different gender. i’ve always been comfortable being a girl. i’ve always been a girly girl. this all started a couple months ago and it’s increasingly getting worse. i’ve had times where i didn’t like my body but i always thought i could just go to the gym and fix it, never did i think i wanted to be a man. ever since these thoughts started i hate looking at myself in the mirror, i hate looking at my body, i’m aware of my breasts all day everyday, i can’t look at pictures/ videos of myself. from the moment i wake up to the second i go to sleep i have these thoughts. i’m in a panic EVERYDAY. i don’t want to be trans but my thoughts are convincing me i do. i’ve never bat an eye when someone calls me a girl but now it’s like i’m aware of it which i hate. i hate that i’m having these thoughts & it’s convincing me that i want them & that i have to just come out and change. i want to be able to go back to being comfortable as a girl. this has left me feeling so hopeless and depressed, i can’t help but cry every day. has anyone else felt like their whole world was turned upside down?
shinsset
- Date posted
- 16w
tocd + proof + advice on how to tell people?
I cant do anything anymore without my brain dregdging up proof from my past that I was actually trans and didn't know it, and it all seems so plausible. like I said in my last post its unearthing memories that I didn't even know I have. ik this is just ocd tricking me but I feel like I need to review every moment thoroughly bc I have questioned my gender in the past but always concluded that'd I'd happier as a girl (which is true). everything feels so real and it feels like I am just super in denial. also, how do I tell people about this? I made the mistake of confessing to a teacher on a note and only a couple friends of mine understand the thoughts I get, but I don't tell them everything. however its very hard for me to do basic responsibilities like school work and I always end up overwhelmed, so I'm thinking I may need accomdations. I need to get in touch with my counselor but i'm unsure how to explain all of this to her, being that I don't have a diagnosis....also I feel like I can't talk about this with the majority of my friends because gender ocd is rare to have (increasing my doubts) and, at least school-wise, i'm in very accepting environment for lgbtq and I'm afraid they're just gonna tell me to accept myself. I'm scared of doing erp for this because what if I like it (also cant afford therapy). ive also felt very apprehensive around some of my trans friends and classmates because my brain is going crazy asking "what if you're like them?" and I feel so bad and transphobic for these thoughts. i'm genuinely so tired. one of my closest friends died last year, but my father pointed out that my recent mood has been even worse than it was during that time. i tend to bottle up my emotions a lot, so everyone's just telling me to "let it go" and tell people, but if I do that I feel like i'll end up confessing. i'm so tired and lost.
vaiiolyn
- Date posted
- 14w
feeling helpless
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
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