Advice for Therapy and General Advice TOCD

Hi everyone, I’m planning to go to a therapist not specialized with OCD. I’m debating whether to bring up that I’ve dealt with OCD in the past. I want to try to explore my gender and sexuality without tying it to ocd to see if there’s anything true behind the scenes. What do you all think? Also, I know I’ve mentioned this several times lol. It’s like now I can’t even wear a bra without being uncomfortable. I keep mentioning this because it seems different from anything else anyone on here with TOCD has mentioned who is cis. I am still comfortable in sports bras, but isn’t a sports bra close to a binder? I even feel like I don’t want to wear those sometimes. Doesn’t that mean there has to be something true about my gender or sexuality not matching? I know some of the uncomfortableness has to be coming from the thoughts leading up to putting on a bra, but it’s just frustrating not being able to love who you are already and being uncomfortable with who you are. I just want to be comfortable in my current female body, but that’s just not the case. It sucks. Please help with these thoughts.

Transgender OCD

Username: TexasOCD41TexasOCD41

Date posted: 12w ago

I would recommend against a therapist who does not specialize in OCD. I had one that gave me so much reassurance it made my OCD worse. When you let your feelings dictate your decisions you are not thinking rationally but emotionally and that's not always a bad thing but when you suffer from OCD it needs to be reconsidered. Everything thinks their OCD is unique or different, everyone thinks their OCD is the exception and therefore can't be OCD but must mean something true about themselves. I used to think perhaps if I addressed some past traumas or tried to figure out the " behind the scenes" it would stop my OCD or give me relief but turns out, that was just compulsive thinking and what I really needed to do was lean into what was uncomfortable, what I didn't want to do and tackle OCD head on. I think you should try to work with an OCD therapist first and really work on TOCD being your root issue. You can always go to a nonspecialized therapist later if this approach doesn't work. BUT if you really are just experiencing TOCD, and you go down the rabbit hole of a non-OCD therapist, you might do more harm than good and confuse yourself even more. Address OCD first, THEN if you still feel the need to explore your sexuality you can do so from a clean baseline and have no distractions.

Username: alissaaalissaa

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 12w ago

@TexasOCD41 Yup you said this way better than I did. Completely agree.

Username: alissaaalissaa

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 12w ago

I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. If it’s in the context of OCD, I would say this is compulsive if you’re going to this therapist for reassurance or to seek answers about what they think your gender identity is. Does it feel urgent and anxiety provoking to solve? Does the idea of not being cisgender make you anxious, or does it bring you a sense of peace? Think egodystonic vs syntonic. I personally do not have experience with this, so all I can do is provide you context from the OCD/anxiety standpoint. Wishing you peace and love.

Username: KontheiliKontheili

Date posted: 12w ago

I’ll try not to give reassurance about the bra thing but let’s be honest, there are numerous women who don’t like wearing bras because they are uncomfortable lol. There’s no need to make a big deal over a bra but again when experiencing ocd you can’t even control these types of thoughts. I understand what you’re saying about not mentioning ocd to see what you can get out of the therapy session but let’s be truthful, you are seeking reassurance rather that exploration. When it’s this intense and obsessive in nature it’s not really indicating exploration and experimentation but rather needing an answer right now. And that’s ocd in nature. I really agree with a previous comment which says that is better to deal with the ocd first and then everything else. That’s the advice I took back then before I sought therapy. Get ocd out of the way first and then if the feelings persist try something else. Don’t forget there is a possibility you’ll get over this and feel comfortable in who you are afterwards. Or maybe not. But please seriously consider what the other user commented about therapy! I found it such good advice. Take care 💞

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 11w ago

Thank you all for taking the time to respond, it’s truly appreciated!

Username: lor

Date posted: 3y ago

Advice appreciated! I’ve been struggling with what likely is ocd for the past year, with a sexual orientation theme. It recently got kinda bad again so I’m thinking of telling my therapist. Since before ocd hit me, I’ve known I’m bi and I feel like if I were to tell my therapist about HOCD then I should also tell them I’m bi, but idk if I feel comfortable telling them yet. So I don’t know what to do! Should I suck it up and keep managing it myself, should I come out to them or should I not tell them about my sexual orientation and just ask about the OCD?

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: aprilmava

Date posted: 2y ago

people with TOCD, please lmk if you feel like this I’ve always been happy with the gender I’ve been. Female . A girl. Doing girly girl things such as makeup , fashion , doing nails, and etc and have never once thought about switching my gender . I like my body and have been comfortable with whom I’ve been. And I’ve always been comfortable with my she/her pronouns and all that stuff . But ever since I got TOCD it’s like “do you?” And I think it’s creating false feeling and false thoughts. Like I’ve never thought about being the opposite gender and I’ve never liked male items but now every time idk I try to do an “ exposure “ I’m like “a dress or a suit” and my brain would pick a suit but I’ve never wanted to wear a suit . I would want to wear a dress and it makes me feel like I’m in denial. I feel like I’m already a man?? Like I’m not sure :( but it makes me feel uncomfortable but I already got used to it and I’m like “wow I severely need a therapist now to help me” I don’t want a penis but I get intrusive thoughts about you do and coming out to my family and stuff like that’. I don’t like or want to look masculine but I think my brain wants to but I don’t :( that’s why I feel like I’m in denial but I really don’t want to :( It feels like my personality just completely switched like that In an instant . I don’t want to be a man but I got used to this feeling :( My friend also did a tarot card reading on me and told me I’m in some sort of denial which I don’t wanna believe since she’s absolutely new .

Transgender OCD

Username: Rage against...

Date posted: 1y ago

Can someone please help me? PLEASE. I NEED SOMEONE

I’m so fucking torn and so fucking lost. The last couple days, I feel like something in me has switched. I feel horrible about my body, especially my boobs and my vagina. I feel uncomfortable with anything female about myself and I feel like I need to GET OUT of my body. I feel so hyper aware of my breasts and I can’t ignore them. Looking at my body makes me anxious and feel nauseated. I can’t function, I’m dreading showering tomorrow. I always have a physical sensation of something in my lower region. My voice and face and name and pronouns trigger me and make me uncomfortable. The intrusive thoughts are either gone or are in the form of feelings. I’ll look at my face and suddenly I will feel like I don’t like it and it makes me uncomfortable. I DONT WANNA BE TRANS BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS IS DYSPHORIA. I feel like I finally understand WHY people transition. I feel like I need to change something because this feeling feels permanent. I’ve been wearing baggy masculine clothes every day because anything feminine makes me nauseous and feel horrible. I just wanna separate myself from anything female right now. Furthermore, I now usually “perceive” myself as a man. It’s like there is a man inside of me. Literally i sometimes feel like a male in a woman’s body. I keep imagining myself as this man character in my head, everything I do I feel like him. I’m so fucking tired. I’ve been having panic attacks and sobbing hysterically all day yesterday and today. The thought of ACTUALLY being trans is so fucking scary that it makes me cry and feel sick but the way I feel right now I feel like I need to be transgender and become male or else I will live in this horrible foggy misery forever. This has only been 2 days. Is it weird that I feel like I don’t even want my old self back, or that I don’t want it to be OCD???? It feels REAL. Can OCD do this because I genuinely hate my femaleness right now and I SEE myself as a male. Everything about my past feels so superficial and fake and like it was never me. I feel like this is me. And I cannot stress how fucking deep this feels. I feel like I genuinely want the surgery now. Everything feels so different. I need help. When I look at symptoms of TOCD, I feel like that’s ME! I did all of these in the very beginning. And I feel relieved but not convinced. But now, I relate more to dysphoria than actual TOCD. Is this something that can happen?

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Advice for Therapy and General Advice TOCD

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community