All day rumination

I’m having the need to confess that I was unfaithful to my girlfriend (even though I was not) because I drank too much Saturday night and don’t remember every single second from my evening. My OCD immediately goes to that I cheated on my girlfriend and I need to confess my sins. I know it’s only OCD, but the thoughts are extremely strong. Any suggestions? Thank you, community.

Good morning. Anyone struggle with ROCD? When I think about what I have done in the past, I feel immense guilty (I feel the tightness in my chest) and have the urge to tell my partner about it, even if my partner says she doesn’t need to know if it is going to hurt her and that I need to talk to my therapist about it first. Any suggestions on how to manage the urge/urgency? Thanks!

I am so tired, guilty, and scared of my thoughts. They are very dark and evil, and I can’t stand thinking about them anymore. It’s always the same dark thoughts every day, wishing death and bad things on my loved ones and even other people. I keep thinking about it daily, and it causes me so much stress. I love my family, and I don’t want them to die. I would be willing to sacrifice my life just for them to live. I always tell myself that I should be the one to die first, not my parents, because I’m a horrible person. I don’t know what would happen to me if they were gone. I badly want to stop having these dark and evil thoughts, but I can’t ignore them. Sometimes I try arguing with them, but it’s still hard to stop. How can I stop them? They’re so repetitive, and it feels like I’m going crazy while thinking about them. I feel like God won’t forgive me for having these kinds of thoughts. I can’t forgive myself, and I really hate myself. I hate myself so much because why would I think about such evil things? Why did it have to get to the point where I’m wishing death and horrible things on the people I love? I feel disgusting, and I don’t think I can love myself anymore because of these thoughts. My brain keeps telling me that I like the thoughts, that I really mean them. But what if I really do mean them? What if I actually want it? What if I think these things on purpose? I can’t do this anymore. I just want to die if I have to spend the rest of my life with these dark, evil thoughts especially toward my loved ones. I’m not suicidal, but I think dying is the only way to stop having these thoughts. I can’t look at myself the same way again. I don’t think I deserve anything good in life.