All day rumination

Feel guilty for not giving into compulsions like rumination and confessing? I feel guilt for having an intrusive thought, trying to shrug it off or just giving it a few seconds of thought and moving along. This sounds like improvement but I still struggle with the anxiety and the guilt. The shame. I’ll be okay and then I’ll remember I have OCD and my stomach will drop and I just want to curl up and cry.

Advice needed please: Has anybody ever been in a situation where something traumatic or heartbreaking was happening in their life and struggled with rumination? I know there is like a normal amount that you should process something and cry it out but I don’t know that it is conducive to anything to do that on and off for hours? Wouldn’t it at a certain point be considered unhelpful rumination? And if so how does one stop? Because I’m going through something so hurtful and confusing that I don’t know how to stop thinking about it and the usual distractions don’t work for very long. And idk how important this is but it just happened today so it’s very fresh which makes it even harder to not think about and “figure out” why x, y, z happened. Goodness, I’m sorry if I’m weird or a baby

I don’t know how to stop confessing. It’s driving me insane. I confess every little thing to my boyfriend. I confessed that I liked attention (this is so obviously human), that I liked it when people found me pretty (also very human??) I confessed about a million other things and I feel out of control. I felt so safe with him last night that it just started pouring out of me. I felt guilty and awful and I just needed release, I couldn’t breathe I felt like I was dying. I’m stuck in a confessing loop and I know I’m only making things worse. Has anyone experienced this and been able to overcome it? It feels absolutely horrible and impossible. I tried to ERP this and I genuinely feel like I am suffocating if I hold off. I feel so disappointed in myself, but I can’t seem to stop. I even had a dream where I confessed to him and woke up needed to confess that. I’m scared I’ll start sharing my worst intrusive thoughts I’ve had if I feel too safe around my bf. Help please :(