Sexual orientation OCD help (pls)

I’m just looking for some advice regarding sexual orientation OCD… I have always been straight but in high school I would sometimes question if I was bisexual. I would always say that if I was, I wouldn’t ever date a woman just cuz I can’t see myself with one romantically, but in a sexual sense, maybe. (TMI: When I was way younger, I discovered lesbian 🌽 and I would usually watch that, I don’t anymore but I would prefer watching that mainly cuz of the moans, sorry this is tmi) but all in all, I was open to the thought of me being bisexual, if I ever turned out to be. After high school (for context: I’m a college junior), I never really thought about my sexuality that much until I got a boyfriend. I’ve been with him for almost two years, and sometimes I’ll get intrusive thoughts that I could like women. (Like for example: Chappell roan is a trigger for me just because I love her as an artist, and she’s pretty. I understand that it’s normal to think other women are attractive and if they have a nice body, and it doesn’t necessarily mean I like women, but sometimes I get scared.) I am not diagnosed with OCD, but I suspect I have it, especially ROCD, so I already get intrusive thoughts about my relationship, and now it’s targeting my sexuality, which worries me. It doesn’t worry me that my family wouldn’t support me and it doesn’t worry me that my boyfriend wouldn’t support me, it’s mainly the fact that if I were to be bisexual, I would feel so incredibly guilty. I know that bisexuality is liking both men and women, but a part of me would just feel guilt towards my boyfriend. Just guilt about how I also like women. And it’s not even like I’d break up with him to pursue women if I was bisexual, I just feel a sense of guilt. I guess I feel this way partially cuz I think he wouldn’t understand. He’s not homophobic, but I just don’t think he’d understand how I’d just suddenly be part gay. I know he’d support me, but in a way I feel like I’m cheating on him if I liked women. Idk how to describe it, but I just need advice because this intrusive thoughts really freak me out.

Ifiknewthen

Date posted: 49w

Let me pose a question to you. Why does the idea that you could possibly enjoy sex with another woman bother you so much? Im assuming you are in love with your bf and would love to marry him or some man someday and have children and a nice family. You love the intimacy and romance with your bf or men in general. Why does the idea that sex with another woman could be pleasureable bother you so much?

anonymous1963

Date posted: 48w

@Ifiknewthen I’m not even sure. I think in a way I feel like guilty because I’m with my boyfriend, and here I am thinking about if I like women too or not. Idk I would never go through with dating a woman or being with a woman sexually if I was bisexual, but for some reason it just bothers me if I turned out to be bisexual while I have a boyfriend. Even tho the whole point of bisexuality is being attracted to both, so I could still be with my bf, I’d just have an extra attraction. But idk that scares me for some reason

Ifiknewthen

Date posted: 48w

@anonymous1963 Bottom line is you have to go through intense erp and that can take a while. But if done correctly, you eventually will defeat the worry and anxiety.

vaiiolyn

Date posted: 20w

Lesbian with Sexual Orientation OCD

I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?

polish_germa...

Date posted: 9w

I’m scared I might be more sexually attracted to women and more romantically to men

Hi everyone, I’ve been really anxious lately, and I just need to get this out of my head. Someone recently told me that maybe I’m bisexual — that I might be more sexually attracted to women, but more romantically attracted to men. That bisexuality is not 50/50. And ever since I heard that, I’ve been spiraling. The thing is: I don’t want this to be true. It scares me. I don’t feel romantic attraction to women, I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship with one. But yes, I get aroused by fantasies involving women — and that makes me feel broken or like I’ve been lying to myself. I love my boyfriend deeply, I don’t want to lose him. I want to feel fully connected to him, physically and emotionally. But now I’m stuck in this obsessive loop of questioning: “What if I’m just in denial?” “What if I’m not really straight?” “What if this is why my libido is low?” It’s exhausting, and I don’t know if this is OCD, anxiety, or if something is fundamentally wrong. Has anyone else felt this split — romantic feelings for one gender, sexual feelings for another? I feel so alone and scared. Thanks for listening.

anonymouscookie

Date posted: 8w

so ocd and bisexuality

Hello everyone, I just wanted to share a part of my journey that I’m struggling with right now. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd and while this is not my first subtype, ROCD and so ocd have definitely been the ones I’ve been struggling with the most. For context I have a boyfriend who I love very much and am terrified of loosing. That’s probably what ocd latched onto. The so-ocd especially is tricky because I’ve come to acknowledge that I am bisexual. Don’t worry I didn’t “discover” this through ocd, I’ve always known and it’s been in the back of my mind way before ocd, I had just never really directly acknowledged it because romantically I just always leaned towards men. The thing my ocd latched onto is “what if you are actually a lesbian and don’t know it yet and will have to leave your partner or are lying to your partner or end up leading him on” The thing is, I don’t have much experience with women except kissing my female best friend once, which didn’t feel special or made me have romantic feelings for her. I’ve always seeked men more actively than women and didn’t feel like I was gonna miss out if I get into a serious relationship with a man before having had more experience. I just know that I can be sexually attracted to women as well. But now that I’m in this beautiful relationship I’m terrified of getting it wrong or having missed something about myself or being scared that I’m actually a lesbian and have been lying to myself all along. I’m not seeking reassurance, just wanting to share and maybe someone else is going through something similar? If so I’d be so grateful to know I’m not alone. I love my boyfriend dearly and i really hope we will work out in the long run.

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Sexual orientation OCD help (pls)

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