What if it’s not ocd?

This is a question that I’m sure is going to sound like a typical proof that I DO, in fact, have ocd. But hear me out. My OCD has surrounded my puppy. Harm OCD, to be exact. What started as images I knew were intrusive, has turned into constant images, feelings and urges when I look at her that I can’t tell if they are intrusive anymore. When I think about the future with her, which is all I ever wanted, it feels like I don’t want it anymore. And sometimes like I don’t care or want her anymore. And that what I really want is to act on the thoughts. What if, because of this, these are real? What if because the OCD traumatized me so badly, I don’t actually love her and want her anymore and will never see her the same way?What if I actually don’t want to get better and want to hurt her because of the way I feel now? What if I’ve become this person and suddenly don’t want everything that was so important to me? I know these are all what if, which is textbook ocd, but it feels like they’re actually true. Please help me figure out what the odds are of this.

Zoë_84

Date posted: 43w

You are seeking reassurance, which you are not supposed to do and which we are not supposed to give you. Not because we don't care, but because we do care. Seeking and getting reassurance feeds the vicious cycle that is OCD. If you keep trying to answer your "What if"- questions, with or without our help, that tells your brain - Those thoughts are extremely important, therefore I have to bring them to her attention more often. Let me tell you a story: I did ERP with my niece and it was great. I looked at picture books with her, then carried her around so we can look at the paintings on the wall. Even though my POCD was torturing me, I enjoyed spending time with her, as she was such a great child. The next day, OCD hit me hard. The fear, that I did something to her became unbareable. I called my sister and begged her to give me reassurance - I can't remember, if she did give me reassurance or not though. Then I thought, the best person to give me reassurance would be my niece herself, but I stopped right there. I told myself, that no matter how bad OCD will get, how much I crave reassurance, I will not drag her into it. I will not risk confusing or maybe even traumatizing her by asking her weird and maybe scary questions. I had never been able to stop myself from seeking reassurance, but I could that day, because I loved my niece and her well-being was so much more important to me, than anything else. I know you love your puppy very much, because OCD targeted her. OCD always attacks what we love and/or care about most, if it didn't, it wouldn't hold that much power over us. If you don't stop trying to find answers for your "What if" questions for yourself, do it for your puppy. You got this!

samlovesjesus

Date posted: 22w

how do i know if i have OCD?

so this all started not too long ago, for literally no reason at all. but one day i got a random intrusive thought about harming others and it freaked me out bad. since then i’ve been non stop focusing on it and im genuinely scared that i am, or gonna end up like those sick people that have documentaries about them. i’ve never had these types of thoughts before and after me and my mom looked a lot of stuff up we think i have OCD cuz a lot of the stuff it was saying was accurate to me. to anyone in here, does this sound like OCD to you? i’ve always been a nice loving person and these thoughts freak me out so bad and make me feel like i’m a bad gross person. it got to the point i don’t even like looking at myself anymore. i just wanna go back to normal man. another thing to add, when i would explain this to my mom even though i was telling the full truth on how crappy this made me feel it felt like i was lying almost? but i know i wasn’t deep down. i’m just scared that what if i act on something or get in my head too much you know?

Astjtoju13!

Date posted: 22w

Harm ocd

Someone please help me I’m having intrusive thoughts of hurting my pets and I’m really scared of myself and I want these thoughts to go away. Can someone please help me I’m scared and I don’t know if I’m a monster

Aphid123

Date posted: 22w

Is this even OCD?

Hey so a couple months ago (7-8) I remember being upset at my family member. Like she was talking too much while I was annoyed and remember wanting her to be quiet. I got an intrusive thought like a really bad image of doing something really bad to her, and my hand twitched to the side a little? Like it felt like I was about to?! And I remembered thinking "if I do this, I'll get in trouble". I got up and left to the bathroom and felt horrified! I was thinking "did I want to act out? Did the only reason I didn't act out was because of getting in trouble? If there was no consequences, would have I done it?! Does this mean this whole time I've been using OCD as an excuse?" I remember I couldn't sleep for 3 nights because of how bad the anxiety was, I was crying and I felt very guilty like I should turn myself in to a mental hospital. I couldn't eat for many days or be near her because of that thought and twitch I had! I'm worried it was an impulse or I actually wanted to hurt her. And even to this day I still ruminanate about this. Like last night I couldn't sleep well I kept waking up every two hours and asking myself "am I capable?" I couldn't eat last night. Sometimes I move on from it like I forget that happened but when I remember, I feel distressed about it! I don't want to be an evil person or do bad actions towards anyone! I'm even scared to be angry because of this because I'm scared I have more "chance" of acting out due to anger. Like was it an impulse and I held back? Is this even OCD? Please help, I'm really scared!

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