Can I please get some help?

@curefan6 I think so too, I think I would just get the urge all over again. It’s a big reason to why I haven’t done it. I feel like even though it’s harmless, my brain won’t let go of it if I gave in.

@isshpra 🫶🏻 - And don't feel crazy because it's all over the news right now if I know what I think you're talking about. I think the headlines in the news right now are so triggering to men and women that have the worst kind of traumas out there. I will say if I think I know what you're talking about that I've looked at a research and crimes against humanity perspective, and honestly like if you're afraid that you'll enjoy it, you probably won't. I mean there's a lot of violence involved regarding that.

@curefan6 Came back here to say thank you for the support. I’ve been able to resist for almost an extra week now. Hopefully it gets better!

@LKRoseCity Oh no, I’m not afraid I’d enjoy it. I really don’t understand why this urge is there, I appreciate your compassion. I do feel a little coo coo but I’m strong. I can do this, it’s temporary

@Zoë_84 I agree that my brain would probably telling I’m a pedo for googling that, but I don’t think it would go as far as to look for a watch cp. I feel like that is a whole other process and level of effort to even do and the thought of even doing that makes me want to puke.

Yeah honestly unless you're a violent person which in that case you definitely should tell your therapist and hopefully get on some meds if not already, because it's a very violent thing. It's literally torture. I mean people make black market money off of it and at the end of the day a lot of what you'll see on there those kids aren't kept alive they're useless at the age of 16. So no matter what first pops up if you do Google it, the reality of it is evil.

@LKRoseCity What are you talking about?

@Zoë_84 The truth of the topic

@Zoë_84 Human trafficking would be worst case scenerio

@LKRoseCity The truth of the topic? The topic is not cp, or child trafficing, but OCD. I was talking about POCD and with which intrusive thoughts OCD might come up, if isshpra googled "cp" (not the actual word, but only these two letters). I think everyone is well aware about how horrible cp and child trafficing is and how much children who are affected by it suffer, but again, that is not the topic in this threat.

@Zoë_84 Are we sure? Im confused. But we agree. You folks take care and stay safe and vigilant!

@LKRoseCity I’m not violent. Googling “cp” brings up cerebral palsy. The word spelt out would most likely have statics and articles on people getting caught. The topic was a dumb urge that would not harm anyone but in my head it’s bad enough. I wouldn’t ever look up something like that. I can’t even bring myself to type out the words. The topic is OCD, urges are ego-dystonic. I think everyone is aware the actual of the horror that is human trafficking. It’s probably why my OCD has fixated on this to begin with, it scares me and I’d rather die that ever be a part of it.

@isshpra 🫶🏻 Same!

Yes this is exactly what will happen. Please try not to give into it. It's a sneaky trick OCD does to people with googling or testing compulsions.

@BigGyro09 It does call me a p do, it tells me I’m going to get in trouble. It tells me I’ll eventually do something worse. I don’t believe I would ever actually watch any of that. The thought of it makes me want to vomit and die. I would never do that, I don’t want to believe for a second that I would. I’d rather die. It goes so hard against my morals and who I am. I don’t even want to think there’s chance I would.

@issphra 🫶🏻 All of this sounds like the real you talking as opposed to your ego dystonic thoughts that tell you the opposite of what you want. That's why your OCD is the way it is: You truly wouldn't want to engage in something like that but your thoughts constantly remind you of that through false warnings that don't necessarily help.

@moe5 It definitely helps, I did that too but for some reason this urge is back and stronger than ever. I don’t understand why