I’m so scared

Sorry you're going through this. Try to take a step back and simply rest in the Lord. Remember he tells us to cast all anxiety upon him (1 Peter 5:7). Try to pray calmly and slowly, trusting God. "Lord I love you, I need you, you are my foundation." "You know all things and you know my heart." "You tell me not to fear, help me to leave this anxiety at your feet." Pay attention to the nature of your prayer. If you are very frightened, and are praying for the same thing over and over again, or repenting of the same thought many times per day - that is *compulsive* prayer. You are using prayer as a short-term compulsive response to anxiety in a way that is not truly addressing the problem - our inability to accept uncertainty. Make sure you're praying slowly, calmly, trying to trust, focus on each word. If your prayer looks more compulsive, then you need to resist praying in that fashion, and try to sit with the uncertainty and resist compulsions. You can do this. One moment at a time. God bless.

I struggle with the same thing. I think the fact that you care about it and are worried about it is a sign that you haven’t committed it. But I know with OCD sometimes that is not reassuring. I know it is so tormenting, but what helped me is realizing these intrusive thoughts are not my thoughts. But it feels so real sometimes. It sucks. God has been faithful and has brought me through very hard seasons of these thoughts. Something that has comforted me is that we as believers are sealed with the Holy Spirit. And also just reading the promises of God, like Isaiah 43, Romans 8:15, Colossians 3. Psalms 91, Deuteronomy 31:6. God bless, I will pray for you✝️🙏

If the Spirit 'is' Holy, nothing you could do on purpose or on accident could change their unconditional love for you. You're talking about it and practicing. ^_^ Keep it up!