I can’t stop obsessing over my sexuality

My boyfriend is the love of my life. He gives me everything I could ever ask for and more. The problem is that I know I have a future with him and imaging that future plays out exactly how I want it to, I’m having anxiety about not ending up with a woman. I’ve always been very open about my attraction to women, my boyfriend knows this and in all honesty, he’s the only man that i’ve felt attraction towards. My worries with these overwhelming thoughts are that I might be pushing down such a huge part of me, I feel extremely guilty for even thinking like this (almost like i’m cheating??), and what if he feels the same way about men? He used to strictly date men, I know its unfair of me but if he’s having these same thoughts I couldn’t handle it. So now i’m having the added pressure of what if i’m not enough? will he ever be satisfied with me because I’m not a man?

LGBTQ+ with OCD

LiaExe28

Date posted: 44w

I kinda get this, I’m bi, I’ve dated a few men, trans and cis, dated a couple women, also had a few crushes on guys (gay and straight) for some reason whcih my ocd is using as a reason to believe I’m solely attracted to women. I love my bf, I’ve never had a strong force drawing me to women or men but whoever I had a crush on I had a crush on so I concluded: bi. But my brain is now obsessed with the idea of comphet when all I have been is happy with my bf and having a future with him feels wonderful, idk if I’m over the moon excited rn but that’s ok cuz I don’t have to be excited about smthn that’s not happening rn, like engagement or marriage. I’m scared to try thinking about the future cuz my brain goes on a tangent of “yoh leave him for a woman” and I worry that’s what I really want but I don’t I love him so why am I panicking. Maybe it’s cuz I’m young and commitment to soemone for the rest of my life is a lot to think about even if I do love him. But then I worry that I only love the idea of marrying him and won’t actually like living with him even tho he practically lives with me when he comes over and it’s always felt like I’m living with my best friends. We’re doing laundry together, doing dishes and it feels right and before this, I never thought about leaving for anyone. But now it’s constant “are you actually happy or is it comphet? You’re gonna get married to this man and realize you don’t love him when you move in with him blah blah blah” which worries me so I check if I feel attracted to him and when I don’t feel that overwhelming sense of love for him that I used to feel in the honeymoon phase I worry I’m a lesbian but I know love cjanges. But I’m worried my love for him has only been platonic. And what about my sexual feelings? Do I only enjoy the validation from sex and not the time we spend being tangled together in each other’s arms? Idk I feel crazy and I get it. I get the thinking about it feels like cheating thjng. I absolutely hate it. Sorry for the ramble but. I get it

sharkshark89

Date posted: 9h

@LiaExe28 Are your feelings on this still the same? it helped me almost a year ago to hear from you that im not alone in what im thinking, i just wonder if anything’s changed?

LiaExe28

Date posted: 9h

@sharkshark89 Yeah mostly the same. Idk I’m still sorting through the mess tbh lol. I still say bi but I don’t feel much draw to women, idk if I ever did or if I was trying to like- prove my bisexuality or smthn? Idk lol. High school was weird. I still love my bf deeply, tho my brain thinks it’s not that deeply which makes me panic. I still flip flop in terms of emotions honestly. It’s not intense so my brain is like “it’s not real love” like I said before. Im still not used to having smthn good like this

sharkshark89

Date posted: 8h

@LiaExe28 I guess I’m really still in the same boat, I think my biggest thing is I’ve been with my boyfriend since I was 14 so I get anxiety that I never really got the chance to explore myself (not that I have any desire to). I love him so much though and we’re sticking together

polish_germa...

Date posted: 22w

I’m scared I might be more sexually attracted to women and more romantically to men

Hi everyone, I’ve been really anxious lately, and I just need to get this out of my head. Someone recently told me that maybe I’m bisexual — that I might be more sexually attracted to women, but more romantically attracted to men. That bisexuality is not 50/50. And ever since I heard that, I’ve been spiraling. The thing is: I don’t want this to be true. It scares me. I don’t feel romantic attraction to women, I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship with one. But yes, I get aroused by fantasies involving women — and that makes me feel broken or like I’ve been lying to myself. I love my boyfriend deeply, I don’t want to lose him. I want to feel fully connected to him, physically and emotionally. But now I’m stuck in this obsessive loop of questioning: “What if I’m just in denial?” “What if I’m not really straight?” “What if this is why my libido is low?” It’s exhausting, and I don’t know if this is OCD, anxiety, or if something is fundamentally wrong. Has anyone else felt this split — romantic feelings for one gender, sexual feelings for another? I feel so alone and scared. Thanks for listening.

anonymouscookie

Date posted: 21w

so ocd and bisexuality

Hello everyone, I just wanted to share a part of my journey that I’m struggling with right now. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd and while this is not my first subtype, ROCD and so ocd have definitely been the ones I’ve been struggling with the most. For context I have a boyfriend who I love very much and am terrified of loosing. That’s probably what ocd latched onto. The so-ocd especially is tricky because I’ve come to acknowledge that I am bisexual. Don’t worry I didn’t “discover” this through ocd, I’ve always known and it’s been in the back of my mind way before ocd, I had just never really directly acknowledged it because romantically I just always leaned towards men. The thing my ocd latched onto is “what if you are actually a lesbian and don’t know it yet and will have to leave your partner or are lying to your partner or end up leading him on” The thing is, I don’t have much experience with women except kissing my female best friend once, which didn’t feel special or made me have romantic feelings for her. I’ve always seeked men more actively than women and didn’t feel like I was gonna miss out if I get into a serious relationship with a man before having had more experience. I just know that I can be sexually attracted to women as well. But now that I’m in this beautiful relationship I’m terrified of getting it wrong or having missed something about myself or being scared that I’m actually a lesbian and have been lying to myself all along. I’m not seeking reassurance, just wanting to share and maybe someone else is going through something similar? If so I’d be so grateful to know I’m not alone. I love my boyfriend dearly and i really hope we will work out in the long run.

Chlem11

Date posted: 16w

Sexual Orientation OCD

I have a lot of trouble with my sexuality. I’ve been trying to figure out my sexuality for years. I’ve dated a man, and I wasn’t really into the whole time. And since then I’ve thought that maybe I’m a lesbian because I’m attracted to women, which I know for sure. But then my brain spirals, I constantly think back ti memories with my ex, how I felt with him, I check how it makes me feel. I often google to see if other lesbians have felt similar, I ask ChatGpt over and over again. I feel like I have to be 100% certain or that im faking for attention, or thst I’ll end up with a man. I guess im wondering has anyone else felt like this ? What’s been your experience how do you manage it?

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I can’t stop obsessing over my sexuality

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