Help me understand this please?

**TW for anyone who’s like me a picks up new fears** I’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts about inappropriately touching people I care about. These thoughts are distressing, and I never act on them, but sometimes I feel this overwhelming tension or urge. To manage it, I end up doing things like lightly smacking someone’s knee or arm, or poking them in a safe spot like their ribs. It feels like it helps release the tension or stop the thoughts. It scares me because I feel like it might mean I’m dangerous, even though I know I would never actually hurt anyone. I’m assuming it’s some sort of compulsion. Does anyone else experience something like this? Any advice or insight would be so helpful—I’m just trying to understand this better.

Hope309

Date posted: 30w

This isn’t my current fear at the moment but it was a few years ago. Funny how OCD can just move on to other things once you overcome that fear. When I was 17 I had an intrusive thought to touch someone inappropriately along with an urge to as well. I didn’t of course but it freaked me out, like why would I even think that! Turns out though this happens to lot’s of people so you aren’t as abnormal as you think really. If you are in therapy on here I would talk with your therapist to work out at treatment plan. If it gives you any comfort you aren’t alone and you are not a bad person.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 30w

@Hope309 Thank you, it helps me feel more normal :) I’ve actually struggled with this a lot my whole life, but it’s the compulsion to playfully hit instead that makes me feel almost dangerous. It feels like I have to redirect that urge into something, or I’ll explode. That’s probably just anxiety or something. I’m trying to make sense of whether this is a compulsion or not so I can avoid it. I’ve also always been a playful hitter, so I don’t want to avoid doing it or start doing it compulsively, you know?

I’m Batman

Date posted: 30w

Not trying to be an alarmist or scare you but I would probably run the playful hitting action past your therapist. When you use a phrase like “to manage it” you do “different action instead” almost sounds like “intrusive thoughts or urges hit” do this thing to “relieve anxiety”. Which could be or become a compulsion. I could be totally wrong too… if it was me I would run it past a therapist. To be fair my wife will “playfully” smack the shit out of me 🤣 so it could also be totally harmless fun. Almost positive she does not have ocd though. As far as you being dangerous , maybe. You could be a ninja and we would have no idea. The chance of probability is low but possible I guess. I feel like though an actual dangerous person would not be posting on NOCD for help and advice about it. I feel like they would just be out being dangerously dangerous… maybe again I could be wrong 😁 As far as the “ready to burst” I can relate. At its core ocd is still us and it knows us. It knows that highest level of bad feels it needs to do to push you over the edge. And as you try to take away its food , it will push that level. That bursting point though , once you fight that , sit there with that uncertainty…instead of the compulsion…. Your brain learns this irrational fear is not really an issue. Then ocd starts to starve. And in theory the next time gets more easy. It’s hard and takes work but I think you got this !

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 30w

@I’m Batman I think it’s mostly a compulsion when my anxiety feels unmanageable. Apart from that, I usually don’t think twice before playfully smacking my boyfriend or family members. I try to refrain as much as I can when I’m anxious, but if my anxiety is extreme, I can’t help but at least tap them. It’s like having thoughts, like imagining grabbing insert area I would never grab, and I start spiraling because my anxiety is already high. So, I snap out of it by poking their arm. I guess it’s almost like reassuring myself that the most I would ever do is something harmless. Does that make sense? I think it is a compulsion because when my harm OCD urges, like violently punching my boyfriend, come up, I’ll lightly punch him instead. It feels similar to the intrusive thought of “you could touch this area,” so I touch a safe, respectful area instead. I’m just trying to make the connection—please let me know if I’m being confusing 🥲 I’m not a ninja, lol, I’m an anemic girl in my 20s with weak arm strength, so I guess that’s why my harm OCD rarely flares up anymore. I realize I don’t have the strength that my imagination makes me think I have. I thought I was Superman I guess lol. The irrational fear of inappropriate touching is still there, though, because you don’t need strength for that. Thank you for your encouragement :). I do my best to refrain from any contact when my anxiety is high, but today was just really overwhelming. It starved me of peace instead 😭😭😭

Tanza_night67

Date posted: 24w

Intrusive thoughts of Hurting others

I have this issue where I can vividly imagine hurting others or animals or say things OUTLOUD that may be disruptive or disrespectful becauss I am overstimulated by soemthing someone is doing or saying. So, Over stimulation with people and animals and things they do can be a big part of it, Sometimes I will see soemthing that bothers me about someone and I just want to either fix it or hit them because they make me so overstimulated I just want to hit the problem. I never act on these things obviously but SOMETIMES it leaks out and I hit my hands together to calm the urges. I really don’t like imagining hurting others but when I get mad I obsess over what I would or could do to them or might or would’ve in a situation in the past, had it planned out differently. I keep thinking about it and thinking about it and then get upset with myself because I know it’s wrong to be thinking about hurting others and it worries me I may someday act on something impulsive and harm someone. Sometimes I cry about it because I never want to hurt people. Really I don’t. Most of these thoughts happen in milliseconds and I have a second part in my brain like a THOUGHT processor/auto corrective thinking reminding me I can’t do that because it’s morally wrong and I am too good of a person to do that and there is nothing to stress over.

Anonymous

Date posted: 24w

Intrusive thoughts

I’ve had many types of OCD, but I gained control over them over the years, but a new one has started to arise. Do y’all ever have scary thoughts about something you might do? Recently I’ll get extremely uncomfortable no matter where I am because I can’t stop thinking about “what if I screamed really loud in my lecture class tomorrow?” And other stupid stuff like that. Also, this one is kind of funny, but sometimes when I use the bathroom I pause before because I think “what if I’m actually in class right now?” I also cannot control the thoughts about past embarrassing moments. I know everyone does, but I will become visibly uncomfortable and harp on something from years ago. This happens all throughout the day. Also, does anyone else do things that resemble tics when you get these thoughts. Like when they happen I’ll curse under my breath or like jerk my head a little bit. When I’m in public I keep it low key but when I’m alone sometimes I’ll physically get up and pace or something when those thoughts happen. Just curious if anyone has had these experiences

Aphid123

Date posted: 22w

Is this even OCD?

Hey so a couple months ago (7-8) I remember being upset at my family member. Like she was talking too much while I was annoyed and remember wanting her to be quiet. I got an intrusive thought like a really bad image of doing something really bad to her, and my hand twitched to the side a little? Like it felt like I was about to?! And I remembered thinking "if I do this, I'll get in trouble". I got up and left to the bathroom and felt horrified! I was thinking "did I want to act out? Did the only reason I didn't act out was because of getting in trouble? If there was no consequences, would have I done it?! Does this mean this whole time I've been using OCD as an excuse?" I remember I couldn't sleep for 3 nights because of how bad the anxiety was, I was crying and I felt very guilty like I should turn myself in to a mental hospital. I couldn't eat for many days or be near her because of that thought and twitch I had! I'm worried it was an impulse or I actually wanted to hurt her. And even to this day I still ruminanate about this. Like last night I couldn't sleep well I kept waking up every two hours and asking myself "am I capable?" I couldn't eat last night. Sometimes I move on from it like I forget that happened but when I remember, I feel distressed about it! I don't want to be an evil person or do bad actions towards anyone! I'm even scared to be angry because of this because I'm scared I have more "chance" of acting out due to anger. Like was it an impulse and I held back? Is this even OCD? Please help, I'm really scared!

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