- Date posted
- 27w
Is this clarity?
I don’t feel very obsessive. I’m not anxious at all. I know I enjoy sex with him and love him. But now idk if I wanna spend my life with him. Is that the clarity I wanted Like I know I love him but I’m unsure about our future when I used to be super sure? Idk if it’s just cuz I’m an anxious person. Is it ok to love someone and not know if you want a life with them? A life with him would be so peaceful and beautiful. It’d be all I wanted but is that a lie? I don’t think I’d regret marrying him or exploring my bisexuality more cuz I’ve had very little desire to date women. I think I’m just unsure cuz of the obvious culture and religion difference. Our anniversary is this week and I have nothing planned (except breakfast, and a gift that I haven’t finished). I know love won’t conquer everything and it’l require work from both of us. I’m worried I’m just going along with it cuz I have to or I’m stuck here not cuz I want it. Anyways: in summary, is it ok to love someone but still be unsure of wanting a future with them even tho it would be a really nice future I’d love? I really think it’s just anxiousness cuz i don’t wanna confuse my kids by praying differently than them, and celebrating christmas with my side of the family. I feel bad that I’m unsure. But I love him and god I wanna sleep in the same bed as him, wake up next to him, cook him dinner in dim light, cuddle on the couch while watching a movie. I’m tearing up writing this lol. It all seems so nice. He’s so nice. He’s so gentle. I don’t feel butterflies but I feel peace but I’m unsure. My head feels weird. I don’t feel obsessive or confused today but I’m still not me. Maybe I’m getting a short break.
- OCD newbies
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Students with OCD