I’m really down and don’t have anyone i feel i can turn to. I’m just so tired of living as myself. I hate who i love with including myself. I feel so worthless. Having ocd on top of it makes me feel like im just a waste of space. I dont know how to stop feeling this way. Or if i deserve to. That’s all :(
I am also struggling to find myself. I want to know who I am and to like me for me and it may take a while but that's ok. One day you will look at yourself and say wow I've come a long way and you'll thank yourself for holding on. Things may not look good right now but trust me they'll get better even when it doesn't look like it. I'm gonna start doing this too so I might ad well share. When you are about to go to sleep or when you get back home after your daily activities, wrote or say out loud what you are proupld of yourself for doing that day. It may be the smallest of things like I'm proud of myself for eating everything on my plate today but it will help. And even if you can't find things that you're proud of yourself for you can always look at what you're grateful for in life. May God bless you. Remember that there are people who feel like this too and you're not alone. So it may help to find a support group or someone you trust to talk to. Even one of the therapists here at NOCD.
I love writing something that I am proud of myself for! Somedays it’s hard to find something, but writing it down can help teach our brain to look for all the good! These are all amazing things ☀️
@Adanna_. Thank you. This genuinly made me feel a lot better. It’s hard to reach out to people i know irl because they don’t know much about ocd. I’m gonna try to do the write a good thing everyday. Or at least think about it. Because even though i was awful today i was able to get up and shower even though it was hard. And im proud that i did it. Thank you.
@1Jwg3tb3tter I also find it hard to talk to people I know about OCD for the same reason. I'm glad this helped😊
Also i realize the typo it’s supposed to say “hate who i live with”
Hi! OCD is so hard, and it can make us question literally everything about ourselves. Can I share a little bit or my story with you? I was officially diagnosed with OCD last year, and ooh my goodness it was SO. HARD. Over the couple months after that I went all in, tacked my fears, did ERP, and tried to follow everything my therapist said. I wanted immediate results, and even weeks with improvement still didn’t feel like enough. And then one day, before I knew it, it was. Things started getting better, my anxiety lowered, and I was able to recognize what was going on and be so incredibly kind to myself. Looking back on it now, I see that in every session, in every ERP or exposure, in every thought I was slowly changing. I was learning how to fight back and take control over my life. I was learning how to life my story. It is so easy to let OCD tell you you aren’t enough. I’ve been there, but I can with full confidence tell you it gets better. My life has changed and grown in ways I never even knew possible. It’s not perfect, but I’m okay with that, which is also amazing since I struggle with perfectionism. So, as someone who has struggled, here are some of my biggest peices of advice, and hopefully you can find one that helps you 🫶 1) be compassionate to yourself. The work you are doing, the thoughts you are facing or struggling with are hard. Being kind to yourself and try to love yourself where you are. Go through self compassion exercises. There’s an incredible book by Kimberly Quinlan that helped me so much. 2) do something you love. Personally I am a huge Gilmore girls fan, so watching that during hard times has always helped me. And 3) like someone else recommended join an OCD support group! I’m pretty sure they are free! I was in the self compassion one and it helped so much. It honestly helps a lot to see so many amazing, beautiful, brave people being kind to themselves. So take a deep breath, and know that you’ve got this. Everyone here at NOCD is here to help. I’ve been there, it’s hard, but the progress and growth that is coming your way is so worth it 🫶☀️
@ConqueringisPossible Thank you i really appreciate this. The immediate results hits so hard because i want that so bad and i don’t even have a therapist to help do me being upset at it is silly. I’ll try my best to follow your advice and thank you SO MUCH for sharing it. I’ve been dealing with this on my own for years so it’s hard for me to reach out and I’m glad i did. Thank you.
@ConqueringisPossible Can i ask where you find support groups? I’m always afraid i wont fit in or im scared ill always chose the wrong one. I’ve been diagnosed for years but ive never really gotten helped with it
Sometimes I too feel like I'm not enough. I question everyone and everything and I can't stop. How did you overcome that?
@1Jwg3tb3tter Hi! Feel free to ask anything!! If you the page that says therapy, and scroll down there’s a section that says support groups. I’m not sure if you have to be in therapy to join, but if it lets you click on it then I’m sure it’s open to all. I totally get feeling like you don’t fit in, and to be honest you might choose the wrong one. BUT there are other ones, and no matter which you choose you won’t go wrong! It’s like flavors of icecream, they’re all good, but you’ll have one you like the best. I would also gently encourage you to see if you can start official OCD treatment, it’s hard at first but I promise it is so worth it. NOCD is working to partner up with as many insurances as possible and are constantly adding more. The second you are in a session and realize your therapist has heard it all before, and helped people through it is truly amazing. You’ve got this!! Be kind to yourself on your journey, it takes time ☀️
@Adanna_. Hi! It’s so hard to be dealing with that, but know that you aren’t alone. I’m not 100% sure how to overcome it, so for sure mention it to your therapist. For me self compassion did so much!! I decided to be kind to myself and support myself through my trials. When I was having a hard day I would say things to myself like “wow I can see this is hard for you, but we’ll get through it together” or “you are doing some hard work, and I’ll hold your hand through it and be with you the whole time”. Little things like that make a huge difference. As for questioning everything, OCD is literally called the doubting disorder. You will learn to sit with the uncertainty and see that it is actually freeing and amazing. Be kind to yourself, practice mindfulness, do ERP, you’ve got this! ☀️
@ConqueringisPossible Thank you so muchh
@ConqueringisPossible Unfortunately i don’t see the support groups section but thank you. As soon as I’m able to get a job again and get money I’ll try to get a therapist. I genuinely appreciate all your help you are very kind
@1Jwg3tb3tter Completely understandable. In the meantime try that self compassion book I recommend, do some mindfulness, and above all else, be kind to yourself. ☀️
They’re getting more intense.. My mind wonders if what i’m feeling is really OCD.. what if it’s not and i’m in denial? Why is my life like this, a constant loop of fears and stress holding me back. I just want to live. To be the kind boy everyone knows. To make and be a difference. There’s sometimes I wish I could stay asleep.. to rest for a while. To hibernate all these feelings away. But I know that’s not how it works. Each tear I shed is a reminder of the hell I live every day when I open my eyes. I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know why I am anymore. Please someone.. advice, words of positivity, something.. I feel so alone. I’m scared. I don’t know where else to go.
I can't stop thinking about ending my life. I feel like I'm not even living, I'm just surviving. Everyone is capable of being a person and functioning and I'm just stuck here avoiding everything. My psychiatrist said my ocd is severe and it will all take time and I'll start erp and I'm already on medication but I just feel so depressed and like I won't be able to handle erp and it's already too late for me. I feel inhuman, it's debilitating. My major theme is just fear or contamination, I can't even make myself a meal I can't touch anything in the kitchen. I get stuck in the shower for 2 hours and when I don't shower because I'm depressed I feel like a walking germ. My hands are a mess, my school work is shit, I avoid and avoid and I'm just so tired of "living" like this. My psychiatrist said they don't have any therapists available right now like.... excuse me? What do you mean u don't have any 😭 I honestly don't even know why I'm typing this becuase nothing helps, nothing ever will. I'm so deep into this I can't get out, my room looks like shit, I can't live in this body anymore, I really can't. I let everyone down, I am and will be such a dissapointment. I don't have any dreams or goals or passions I just wasn't made to be here. I don't know how or who to ask for help like there's nothing anyone can do, I'm already on meds. I can't keep being like this, seeing everyone judge me for acting insane.
I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.
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