Lust while in relationship

Does anyone struggle with the OCD thought of lust while in a relationship? I get all these intense feelings and feelings that I want to have these thoughts with other people besides my boyfriend in my head yknow? And I’m afraid that these feelings are true and that i want to think these things but I don’t. I’ve been having a hard time this evening with this because the feelings and sensations I have on my body are really strong. And I feel like I sinned against him.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 37w

Thoughts like that are completely normal. We’re human, and this especially common when we’re young. What matters are your actions. They are just thoughts. Whether intrusive or not, they’re just a few of the millions of thoughts our brains produce every day. Trust me you’re not alone, I feel like the worst gf ever when I have thoughts like that, but we have to remember they’re just thoughts. Lust, attraction, and interest do not disappear when we get into a relationship, OCD just makes us hyperaware of them. Instead of judging yourself for having these thoughts or feelings, try to acknowledge them without giving them too much power. OCD thrives on doubt and guilt and adding extra meaning where there shouldn’t be, but feeling attraction and lust for others despite being in a relationship is as natural as feeling hungry when you smell good food or feeling tired after a long day. It is just a natural response, not a reflection of your love or commitment. What matters is what you choose to do with those feelings, acknowledging them without acting on them and staying true to your values and relationship.

G06

Date posted: 37w

@issphra 🫶🏻 Thank you I really appreciate your response a lot. It’s just really easy to doubt them because of the way that they feel.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 36w

@G06 I know exactly what you mean. It feels like getting punched in the stomach with dread and guilt when those thoughts hit. My head heats up, and I get dizzy. It’s so surreal. But trust me, it’s normal. I’ve talked to multiple therapists about it. I’ve had two, but I also asked two others through a Q&A because I was so scared it wasn’t. I even spoke to my boyfriend about it, and he said, “That’s normal. Just keep it to yourself because it’s meaningless, and sharing it can confuse your partner. Usually, we don’t share things that don’t matter.” I’m here if you ever want to talk. I struggle with this a lot too, and even though I logically know it’s normal, it doesn’t take away from how wrong it feels or the spirals it causes. At some point, it doesn’t feel normal anymore, if that makes sense, because you start ruminating so much on those feelings (or maybe a specific person) that it becomes intrusive. So, it can be a mix of both: normal thoughts you’re overanalyzing and intrusive thoughts triggered by the rumination.

G06

Date posted: 36w

@issphra 🫶🏻 Oo that’s valid! Especially the last part you mentioned! I would so love to talk to you for advice!

Anonymous

Date posted: 37w

It’s been happening to me, but there’s something that started it all, it wasn’t even me just thinking it. Something started it for me. It’s really hard !

G06

Date posted: 37w

@Anonymous What do you mean by “started it all” like a random thought? I would love to hear you explain!

marie2

Date posted: 37w

All the time

G06

Date posted: 37w

@marie2 That makes me feel better about myself!

dono98

Date posted: 37w

Totally get that!!

Jae18

Date posted: 25w

Question for people with SO-OCD

Do you perhaps experience things like being so frustrated and numb because of how much your ocd drains you ? Then you are naturally caught up in a compulsion where you’re “physically testing” yourself to lets say something you watched years ago that is usually against your orientation?? If you know what I mean ? Even though you know you are (your own sexuality) and are in a very loving relationship and you really love your partner but does anyone experience this ?? And then they’re faced with more thoughts about how they’ve betrayed their partner and how their partner will leave and if you also struggle with scrupulosity ocd you feel like you’ve committed a huge sin and betrayed your faith ? Again I get all of this goes against values and that the human body may still react to things we naturally may be against but anyone still falls for the testing and then has this awful reaction afterwards? And does that really mean I betrayed my partner ?? Thank you so much for your time and I would really love your insights as this is something that popped up with me out of the blue …

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 24w

I feel like I want to be single… ROCD?

Lately I’ve been having moments where I want to be single and explore other possibilities, like new relationships or flings. Sometimes I even feel like I do not want to marry my partner. Those moments honestly scare me. In the last two days alone, I almost broke up with my boyfriend three different times. I love him, and I want to love him without these moments/urges to leave. I’ve been feeling especially numb and distant this past month, and while my OCD has been quieter, my connection to the relationship feels like it’s slipping. I feel like I might be glorifying the idea of being single, like the freedom and exploration seem so idealized. I’ve been looking for posts that sound similar to what I’m going through (yes, I know that’s a compulsion), and I’ve found a few that made me wonder if maybe OCD is more involved in this than I initially thought. I just really don’t understand how. Could it be a mix of my numbness and OCD? Could the urge to explore or the emotional flatness around the relationship be OCD showing up in a different way? One other thing I’ve noticed: whenever my boyfriend is sweet or romantic, I feel this deep guilt or just nothing. Like I cannot say “I love you” back without feeling like I’m lying. It makes me feel like a bad partner. I just want to understand how OCD might be playing a role in all of this.

Sillygoose27

Date posted: 21w

Intrusive thoughts about others

I am in a relationship but I cannot stop getting thoughts about this new coworker I met, my mind convinces me they are so attractive and so great and I hate it so much. My current relationship has its imperfections (as every one does) but I am so happy with her and have always been so loyal. Would OCD target those imperfections and exploit this situation? Additionally I believe I’m feeling ROCD fears of cheating but I know in every opportunity I’ve talked with other women I am loyal to my partner by bringing her up. Does anyone experience the same thing? Is this really OCD or other subconscious intrusive thinking?

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Lust while in relationship

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