Do I owe a confession? False memory OCD.

TW; 18+, SA I live at home with my mother and my sister. I love them more than I could ever put into words. We have been through so much, and each hardship has brought us closer together. We are a trio. We are three, or we are not whole. More to the point, on one unsuspecting night, I suddenly 'remembered' sexually abusing my sister when she was a baby (sixteen years ago). Four months down the line, I now know that I experienced a false memory. The problem that I have is that I don't have 100% certainty. As we know, we can't have. Therefore, in my opinion, I believe that I owe them a confession. I could be a predator that preyed upon my baby sister. Who am I to hide this stomach-turning secret? Who am I to take the risk? I am monstrous for hiding this from them. They deserve to know, and I'm playing God. I believe that I should confess, and they should decide what action they want to take against me. Why shouldn't I confess?

xLilithx

Date posted: 27d ago

hi! so i’ve actually heard very similar things coming from many people with OCD and while the false memories can feel vivid and overwhelming, the entire nature of them is that they are FALSE. I’m not trying to give reassurance, just a reminder of reality to hopefully help pull you out of your spiraling thoughts. One thing that supports the fact that this occurrence didn’t really happen is your very apparent disdain for such actions. It is very unlikely that you would commit such acts with the morals you have. OCD targets the things you love and attacks your most solidly held core beliefs. As to whether or not you should tell your family, maybe you could approach it with sharing the thoughts you’re having and that they scare you. Maybe this can open the door to getting some family support directly surrounding this fear.

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ

Date posted: 25d ago

Thank you so much for this helpful comment, Lilith. I think I was in a bad spiral. I appreciate everything that you've said, it's helped ground me a bit. I'm thankful for your advice on approaching this with my family, I've definitely taken it on board. Honestly, OCD is so troublesome at times. Thank you again, it's comments like yours that help me see everything a little clearer again.

andrewt_

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 26d ago

Do not confess. I know it’s tempting, but this is probably just a false memory. They can be extremely vivid, and indistinguishable from actual memories. I would know because I’ve had scarily vivid ones pop up too when I start analyzing the past. Your brain can create a vivid memory out of thin air with no sign that it’s fake, so don’t be tricked by how real it seems. The brain is more than capable of generating vivid memories. This is very common in OCD

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ

Date posted: 25d ago

Can false memories occur without mental review? I wasn't thinking about anything other than getting ready for bed. That's when it hit me. As you described, vivid and indistinguishable from a memory. The peculiar thing is, as convinced as I am that it's a memory, I don't remember the event taking place. It *feels* like a memory, but I can't recall it actually happening.

andrewt_

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 25d ago

@‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ Yes they can absolutely happen without mental review they can happen out of nowhere it’s not evidence that it happened I know it’s not easy but you don’t have to prove to your OCD that it didn’t happen in fact that will only give it more power unfortunately

No matric ce...

Date posted: 26d ago

If you are seeing a ERP therapist he or she will help you accept uncertainty, the thing is you will never 100% certain you didn't do X to your sister ,but accept uncertainty maybe I did ,maybe I didn't, if X actually happen you have to ,this part is the hardest to accept that but be okay and move on with your life

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ

Date posted: 25d ago

Thank you so much for your comment. Unfortunately, I'm not able to see anyone. But I do practice accepting uncertainty on a daily basis. I think I just had a bad day yesterday, which is bound to happen. Thank you again for commenting, it's helped me to understand that I need to keep working on accepting uncertainty and that's the way forward.

No matric ce...

Date posted: 25d ago

I also can't afford to see a ERP therapist, but I took nathan perterson self directed online master your ocd course it is helping me ,check out his YouTube channel ocd-anxiety he has videos that can help you

Anonymous

Date posted: 16w ago

POCD

I am really worried that I may have SA'ed my little sister. When we were very young, and I mean, really, really young, I was 5 I think. I used to kiss my sister, because I was curious and my mom caught us and she told me not to do it again and I didn't. But when I was about 11 she felt on my lap and I liked the sensation so I tried to rub myself against her. I tried to take my life because of this, I did therapy and everyone, including my sister, told me that I was just a child, and my sister admitted to having done similar things and she said "Would you blame me?" and I said no because she was a child and barely understood what was happening. My therapist said that I mimicked adult behaviors when I kissed her but she was so young, like barely 4 years old and I feel sick to my stomach and I just want to die.

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ

Date posted: 15w ago

False Memory Crisis

I went to bed one night in November, and I can't quite say what happened, but I believed that I had a "memory" from childhood. I won't discuss what, but I had "remembered" doing something sickeningly awful. This thing came to me almost as clear as a real memory. I remember thinking something along the lines of 'How could I forget doing something like that?' followed by a feeling of complete horror and terror. I have moments of "clarity" where I can't believe that I'm questioning doing this thing, and it appears obvious that it's false. But now, I'm more than often believing that I did. I am spending 24/7 fighting my head, and it's taking me to dark places. I know this is the worst thing to do, but you don't understand, if this is real then I am a monster and I can't just adopt the 'maybe I did, maybe I didn't approach'. I just can't. I have to know. I'm so scared. My entire life is on the line. I don't have anyone to talk to about this. Literally no one. I feel like I'm insane, like I'm a monster, like I'm hiding my true identity from everyone I love. Does this sound like False Memory? Or am I in denial, trying to convince myself this didn't happen? Why does it feel so real? And why do I have moments of clarity? I also had my first nightmare about it last night. Please someone help me.

eric_f14

Date posted: 14w ago

False memory and need to confess

I’m having the need to confess that I was unfaithful to my girlfriend (even though I was not) because I drank too much Saturday night and don’t remember every single second from my evening. My OCD immediately goes to that I cheated on my girlfriend and I need to confess my sins. I know it’s only OCD, but the thoughts are extremely strong. Any suggestions? Thank you, community.

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Do I owe a confession? False memory OCD.

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