Horrible morning

I'm really trying. I don't know why this morning is so difficult. Last night was rough, but I fell asleep and woke up okay until I remembered everything :( I'm so thankful for you and everyone else who have been supportive and reminding me I'm not alone. I can't even imagine how isolated I'd feel without this community. Thank you so much for all the kind words and encouragement. Genuinely, you don't understand how much it means to me. Thank you, thank you 🫂🫂 And, I'm going to try and reach out to my psychiatrist like you suggested 🙏🏻

Hi, thank you so much. That's really kind of you to offer. I'd really appreciate any suggestions you might have for replaying past memories. Thank you again. This means a lot 😭🤍

@nae nae This is directly from my therapist and is the framework for dealing with intrusive thoughts, the 3 A's: it's long. :-) Passing along: 1. Acknowledge the Intrusive Thought Objective: Recognize and identify intrusive thoughts without attempting to suppress or ignore them. Process: When an intrusive thought occurs, pause and consciously acknowledge its presence. This step involves labeling the thought as an OCD or anxiety symptom rather than a meaningful or urgent reality. It’s about noticing and describing the thought: "I am having the thought that..." Rationale: By acknowledging the thought, you reduce its power to induce immediate reactive distress. It becomes something you observe, not something that controls you. Am I doing the thinking, or is the thinking doing me? 2. Accept the Uncertainty Objective: Cultivate a willingness to tolerate the discomfort that comes with uncertainty. Process: Accept that the intrusive thought brings uncertainty and that it's impossible to achieve complete certainty or to fully control thoughts. This step involves letting go of the struggle to find certainty or to solve the thought. Rationale: Acceptance doesn’t mean liking, wanting, or agreeing with the intrusive thought. Instead, it means allowing the uncertainty to be there without continuously engaging with or contesting it. This reduces the struggle with the thought, which is often what maintains or intensifies anxiety/OCD symptoms. 3. Action: Staying Present Objective: Redirect attention from the intrusive thoughts to the present moment. Process: Engage in a grounding activity or mindfulness practice that helps bring focus back to the here and now, instead of getting tangled in the thoughts. This could involve focusing on your breath, noticing sensory experiences, or engaging in a task at hand. Rationale: Action through staying present helps break the cycle of rumination and anxiety. It shifts focus from hypothetical worries or compulsive mental rituals back to what is actually happening in your life at the moment.

@Someone99 Thank you, thank you, thank you! 🥹 This is really helpful. I'm going to try my best to implement this. It's not easy to do, but I'm going to keep trying my best for now. Real Event OCD is one of my worst themes, and false memory always plays off of that. It's hard to move past something that is sort of real :( Obviously, this much distress isn't needed, but it FEELS like it is.

@nae nae It isn't easy. In the beginning of my ERP therapy it took almost 2 months until I started to believe this stuff works. Remember, we're wrestling with our own brains, lol. Do you feel like you can be forgiven for past mistakes?

@Someone99 These memories are from when I was 15. And that seems like a lifetime ago, but when I count back the years, it's really not... At that age, I feel like I should've known better? I didn't have bad intentions, and I know I was a kid. But, I don't know if I can forgive myself right now or even how to get to that point. When I look back on these memories, I see myself through a distorted lense, and it makes me sick to my stomach :(

@nae nae I can relate. We're out own judge, jury and executioner. No grace, no forgiveness, only guilt and condemnation. Is it just the events at 15 years old or is it other memories as well?

@Someone99 There have been other memories before, but I don't really have a problem with those right now. Occasionally, I will, but I've gotten better at managing them. It's just the events from 15 that are causing me distress... The thing is, I've had my OCD latch on to this exact thing before, but after a couple weeks, it slowly faded, and I was doing pretty well until now. So, I know I have it in me to get through this, but I keep having thoughts like, "This time, it's different."

@nae nae You are strong and will overcome this. Anything I can do for you? Would it be helpful to have someone to check up on you daily? I'd be glad to. But I certainly don't want to be a pest. :-)

@Someone99 You're not a pest at all. I really appreciate you taking the time to talk with me about this and the advice you've given me. It's really nice of you to offer checking up on me daily, but I couldn't ask that of you. I think I'll be... okay-ish 🥲 Maybe I just need to be patient and sit with things. My body's been in flight or fight mode all day... I think I'm just mentally and emotionally exhausted right now. Anyway, thank you so much for everything. I feel slightly better than I did this morning, and you, plus everyone else, are a big reason for that. I'm so thankful for this 🥹🙏🏻

@nae nae Fight or flight is all part of the OCD cycle. Our brains actually think there is real danger so the lymbic system kicks in... Pretty wild stuff. Just remember the 3 A's. Acknowledge the intrusive thought, out a Mr Yuk sticker on it, Accept the uncertainty, let it be, sit with it, Action, be present...

@Someone99 I will. Thank you so much! ❤️‍🩹

Thank you lots 🥹 I'm so sorry that you can relate... It's mental torture. You're such a sweet and genuine person. You don't deserve this. No one does... That's what I try to tell myself, but today, it all felt so real and overwhelming. I'm mentally exhausted, but I'll try to keep reminding myself of this. Everything just feels wrong :( I'm going to get in contact with my psychiatrist and also look to scheduling an appointment with NOCD. Hopefully, that'll help ease the thoughts a little. Thank you so much for always being here for me. I'm so grateful to this community, and I'm so glad you're in it. It wouldn't be the same without you. Again, thank you so, so much 🫂🩷

@nae nae I feel your pain and im sorry you're going through this. i hope that you book that appointment with NOCD!! let us know how it goes. you deserve help and you deserve to have peace of mind too. and thank you for your kind words 🥹🫶🏽 been having a really horrible morning and it's touching to hear that. and thank YOU for always being here, not just for me but for the community. you are a light. but remember it's okay to not be okay, and you're not alone.💗🤍

@moon027097 Thank you 😭 And I'm really sorry to hear you had a horrible morning. Are you feeling any better? :(