Thing about POCD people get wrong

Being a p3do ≠ I want to abuse children, it just means attraction to children that can be yes distressing, p3dos should be encouraged to do therapy before acting on their desires and actually harming a child. But because it's too scary to and not easy to get therapy for something tough it's hard to get it and talk about it out of shame, guilt and fear. Sometimes the line between POCD and actual p3dophillia feels so thin yet so thick.

@Anonymous Not all paraphilias are distressing too, they are if they are paraphilic disorders which is when the urges are intense or distressing, there's so so many different kinds of paraphilias and some aren't harmful, like no I actually wouldn't fk a computer lol

Same. I have a paraphilia (not a harmful one, juts gross) since I was a kid. And I had a whole episode at 14 about it because I hated myself for having it because it's gross and I'm a pervert. Now I don't really care like, it's whatever, but yk I was distressed before and it didn't mean I don't have it. But the thing that makes it different from POCD for me is that I already had that paraphilia and only after years I randomly had the episode when I understood that people would think I'm a freak. With POCD it was very random and very rooted in fear. Though I'm still not sure and scared cause just like you said the line seems SO thin sometimes and it's way more complicated than people think.

@emma345 I understand that I'm kind of in a similar state I have a lot of paraphilias too, I never expected I'd ever find myself worrying about this yet it happened, which makes me hope it's more likely to be ocd but honestly there is things that I should look into deeper within myself.. I just do a lot of shadow work because even if this isn't ocd I still want to be able to heal and not make myself worse.

@Anonymous But people who like kids but don’t do anything about it, still would want to if they could and they don’t develop Pocd

@emma345 @Anonymous But people who like kids but don’t do anything about it, still would want to if they could and they don’t develop Pocd

@YourOCDhelpingtool Sure but don't take everything I say too seriously okay? what's up

@Anonymous Do you have Pocd?

@YourOCDhelpingtool I'm not sure on this one honestly, a lot of people with paraphilias don't actually want to act on their desires, they might desire it but not desire the action itself. It's pretty scary. But I'm thinking now and if I was given the chance to act on one of the paraphilias I have I probably wouldn't do some of them but I would with others... So I'm assuming it'd be similar to ppl with p3dophillia? But no I think there'll still be a desire to do so even if they won't go for it out of their inhibitions

@YourOCDhelpingtool Yeah I do I think. idk hopefully it's pocd and I'm not actually a p

@Anonymous But like they’d still want to do things with kids, even if it stresses them out???

@Anonymous Wait so you do want to act on yours? With some?

@YourOCDhelpingtool I mean I don't want to in a seeking it manner, I just wouldn't say no.. but thats only with like, one. The rest I actually don't want to act on them at all, it's weird honestly and just the more you think about it and figure it out the more clouded your mind gets, that's why they tell people with OCD to sit with the uncertainty. Things aren't black and white so my answer is some p3dos probably would and others wouldn't.

@Anonymous What do you mean by you’d want to with one? A certain one?

@YourOCDhelpingtool Yeah I have a lot so I think one of them would be fine I wouldn't mind acting on it but the rest not really.. (dw they're not really harmful just weird things)

@Anonymous And are the ppl kids?

@YourOCDhelpingtool Wdym??

@Anonymous The one you want to do things to, are they kids

@YourOCDhelpingtool Absolutely not

@Anonymous Oh I thought you meant you wouldn’t do things to all kids but you would to one? I’m confused could you re explain what you mean please

Yeah sorry(( I knew it might freak people out so I hoped the warning would help (which was stupid, cause it would never stop me), but I really needed to talk about it cause people always throw this reassurance at me and it doesn't help because I know it's not true... But again doesn't mean that everyone with POCD is a P, so I hope you don't jump to conclusions too fast. It means that people maybe need to find a better phrase or reassurance which is actually going to be true.

@emma345 No, I get it. Honestly, there's a chance I might've made a similar post. In fact, I think I did briefly bring up this in one of the first posts I made on here. It's funny because eventually, I forgot about it, and it hasn't bothered me for months (which shows progress, yay!) I did panic a little, but I resorted to the tools I've learned to manage these thoughts, so I'll be okay lol That specific phrase helped me a lot at the start of my journey to recovery, and it can definitely still apply (to certain themes), but I do see what you're saying, and how it might not help if this is information you've happened across. But to those who haven't... What they don't know won't hurt them 🥲 Maybe that's why that therapist responded the way they did so as not to send anyone spiraling even farther.

@nae nae Yeah lol I also had the thought that maybe it's better people don't know this, like I don't know do you have this phrase in english, but in my language we say "the less you know the better you sleep". So yeah I guess it might be helpful even if it's not a 100% true. But it was just bothering me a lot cause when I need people to help me they just say that and it doesn't help 😭 Btw I'm glad you are better!

@emma345 Thank you lol! There's a similar phrase in English, except it's just "the less you know, the better." I like the one you used a lot more, though. It's true! I definitely sleep better without knowing 😭 And honestly, even if the phrase we talked about helps someone, the doubt will likely return one way or another (in my experience), that's just how OCD is. Actual advice/personal experience is ALWAYS going to help more in the long run compared to anything else.

Hey, I mean yeah if you want, just a little bit later okay

@emma345 So how do I tell the difference? What’s the difference between thag what you said and Pocd then if you freak out for both of them

@YourOCDhelpingtool I mean if we are speaking facts. Someone with POCD is SCARED of being attracted to kids and freaks out over it. Someone who is an actual pedophile freaks out because he IS attracted to kids and he doesn't want to be and feels shame. But it's hard to tell the difference when you have OCD, because OCD makes everything feel very real.

I feel the same sometimes, I often can't tell the difference either

I don't know tbh, it's hard to say for someone with ocd. I feel like you need to just uccept the uncertainty here.

@emma345 No. I can’t. I don’t want to be a ped* like help me no

@emma345 But someone who’s attracted to kids but doesn’t act on it and it freaks them out, they wouldn’t ask for reassurance would they?

@emma345 But they still want to act on it, such as they would like to do things but just know it’s wrong so don’t

@YourOCDhelpingtool I don't want to be one either. But unfortunately we can't choose it. Are you in therapy? I cant help you. Because I also have POCD and I don't know the difference either and freak out a lot. A therapist could probably know.

@YourOCDhelpingtool I mean yeah that's probably part of the difference, not necessarily "want" because some of them don't want to harm anyone, but like... if children could concent and they weren't causing harm by that, they probably would yk? Like they are still ATTRACTED, they are guilty and ashamed of the attraction, but its still there.

@emma345 Ok so if they were alone with kids they’d want to do something sexually? Not just have thoughts to? They’d fully want to do things with them? Just not? Because they know it’s wrong?

@YourOCDhelpingtool I can't help you. Seek therapy.

@emma345 But they wouldn’t want to ki•• themselves due to it

@YourOCDhelpingtool I don't know. Some would some wouldn't. They probably would wish kids can consent, but maybe they don't directly want to harm them. But they would probably feel the attraction. So I mean I guess they could fantasize, yeah? But I'm not sure.

@YourOCDhelpingtool Uhm they would. I saw multiple posts on r/suicidewatch of people wanting to off themselves because they are pedophiles

@🫙 Can I add you on something? Mate I’m freaking the f out

Why wouldn't they? Being attracted to kids is considered disgusting and morally wrong, it's what we are being told our whole life. It would make sense for someone to freak out when they realize they have this awful attraction.

@emma345 Yes but so do people with Pocd so how do you tell the difference between it

@emma345 A professor even said to me “people even ones who know they like kids but don’t do anything about it, they don’t feel as guilty”

@YourOCDhelpingtool I mean doesn't mean he is right. I've seen actual pedophiles on reddit who hate the attraction and feel guilty. And as I said if you open google, you can see that paraphilias can be ego-dystonic. POCD probably makes the guilt even worse, so maybe he is right in some way, cause people with OCD are prone to extreme guilt in general. But I don't think the guilt is the main factor that shows is this pedophilia or POCD.

@YourOCDhelpingtool I don't know. That's why I posted this. You can know 100%. You need to just accept the uncertainty.

@emma345 But he’s a professor, better than Google. He’s famous for his work

@emma345 But in the past I used to talk about kids to feel aroused, but never wanted to do anything to them but talking about them make me aroused. But could this just be having an interest in kids???? Also people who have that don’t then have Pocd?????

@emma345 I would fully ki** myself if I was a p

@emma345 But surely there’s a key difference between the two?

@emma345 They wouldn’t shower after every thought

@YourOCDhelpingtool Yes there is. I said it already. People with pocd are scared of being a P. Pedophiles are actually attracted to kids, they can just be ashamed of it and feel guilty.

@YourOCDhelpingtool Yeah they probably won't shower after every though, this is OCD

@emma345 Oh so someone who’s attracted to kids but don’t want to be know they’re attracted and don’t question it?

@emma345 @emma345 But in the past I used to talk about kids to feel aroused, but never wanted to do anything to them but talking about them make me aroused. But could this just be having an interest in kids???? Also people who have that don’t then have Pocd?????

@emma345 @emma345 But in the past I used to talk about kids to feel aroused, but never wanted to do anything to them but talking about them make me aroused. But could this just be having an interest in kids???? Also people who have that don’t then have Pocd?????

@YourOCDhelpingtool I don't know okay. Maybe it was grounal response out of anxiety for you. I'm not a psychiatrist. I just said stuff you can easily find on Google, but I'm not an expert

@emma345 But would someone who’s attracted to kids feel like I am right now I can’t move or eat

@YourOCDhelpingtool Please seek help. I'm scared to make it worse for you.

@YourOCDhelpingtool I don't know. Seek therapy.

@emma345 Right but a psychiatrist has said I have Pocd

@emma345 Please delete this post. I know you didn’t mean anything by it however this could cause someone to become very distressed. Please.

@YourOCDhelpingtool Then you have POCD. Psychiatrist, a specialist, said that to you. Calm down.

@emma345 But they don’t know about my past…..

@YourOCDhelpingtool I literally said in the beginning to NOT READ IT if you can be triggered. I need this post because I need help with that because this bothers me as well

@YourOCDhelpingtool Then go and tell them and see what they tell you. I'm not a doctor I don't know I need help myself.

@emma345 Right but someone who’s attracted to kids wouldn’t be on this app….

@YourOCDhelpingtool Seek help.

@YourOCDhelpingtool Just don't read it and seek therapy. I need help just like you, that's why I posted it. I gave a warning.

@emma345 What is meant by attraction to you?

@YourOCDhelpingtool I don't know. You shouldn't rely on my opinion anyway. I'm just a stranger from the internet. You should seek therapy. Please.

@emma345 Well the psychiatrist said to me that people who are attracted to kids dont ask for reasurence or question if they’re a pedo or not they just know they are they don’t ever question it

@YourOCDhelpingtool Hey so basically sorry, I was too harsh to you. I was just too passionate and wanted to prove that I'm right, so I ignored the fact that me proving my point gives you so much distress and I needed to not even argue with you and just advice to seek help immediately. Please don't harm yourself, I genuinely didn't want to make anyone suicidal. I was just pissed off. I'm sorry. I hope you seek help and get better.

@emma345 Girl! Don’t panic! You didn’t make me suicidal!!! I’m sorry if I went off at you too!

@YourOCDhelpingtool Yeah it's fine, you were scared. I just wanted to prove my point so bad I chose to ignore it even though you were very distressed, so now I feel horrible, when i calmed down. Hope you are a bit better now