- Date posted
- 7y
- Date posted
- 7y
Do you mean do I fear I might be gay? No. I don’t fear that. I actually kinda like that, if fact I might be a bit disappointed if I came to the conclusion that I was straight. What sexuality obsessions I do have are actually part of my TOCD. Because according to my OCD, lesbian/bi = more likely to be trans.
- Date posted
- 7y
Also being trans = not being a girl (which alone would devastate me) and also = not being gay
- Date posted
- 7y
I had no idea TOCD was a thing and i just want you to know that my heart goes out to you @ghostly :(( I identify as a lesbian and that identity means so much to me and it sucks whenever my HOCD tries to undermine that. I feel that same pride and importance about identifying as a girl - that piece of my identity is so important to me, and i can’t imagine that being subject to OCD as well. That just SUCKS so here’s some empathy for you hahaha but i know you’ll get through this! There are so many of us out here struggling to reclaim our identities from OCD so youve come to the right place and know that i’m rooting for you. This hits really close to home for me but i know we’ll both be okay
- Date posted
- 7y
@kinzeymsrin Yeah it’s not as common as a theme as some of the others. It’s starting to get more and more common, though. Probably because trans issues are becoming more and more visible. Which is a good thing! OCD just tends to reflect the culture as a whole. Like religious OCD is more common in more religious countries, and contamination OCD is more common in first-world countries. And thanks for your kind message! It means a lot. TOCD is really awful. It used to feel like I was slowly losing myself. Now it just feels like I already lost. It really sucks. I used to really like and be proud of being a girl. Now I just feel anxiety and doubt. It feels like OCD just ripped my identity away from me. But you’re right, we can get through this! I’m sorry about your HOCD, I’ve never really had that but it seems terrible! Hang in there sister!
- Date posted
- 7y
*aren’t necessarily
- Date posted
- 7y
Are you dealing with HOCD as well ?
- Date posted
- 7y
Ohhh I was confused because you said probably
- Date posted
- 7y
Understandable :) I’m honestly not sure, but it’s not HOCD.
- Date posted
- 7y
Not sure that if I’m gay or bi or straight or what I mean. I am sure that it’s not HOCD.
- Date posted
- 7y
@ghostly that’s super interesting about the changing with cultures thing! I’ve never really thought about that. But yeah i totallllly get what you mean about how pride becomes anxiety and doubt. It’s so upsetting and makes me question literally everything about myself/lose myself just like you said. Just hold on to how you felt before, though, because thats the truth!! I think it also helps to like cling to things about yourself that you ARE certain about, because that makes it seem less like youre losing who you are as a person - you’re a lot more than the gender you identify as, even though it feels like that’s all that matters rn. Rooting for us both!!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 14w
I wouldn’t really say I have SO-OCD, but it manifests in some areas of my TOCD. Like if I see a woman for example my thoughts will go “what if I like her but as a man?” like my thoughts say I’m a straight man instead of a straight woman. And it’s really bothering me. If I see an attractive woman my brain will re-wire and imagine myself as a man looking at an attraction woman and it gets super uncomfortable that I have to like shake my head and say “no no no no no” multiple times to get the thought out. I know that counts as a compulsion but it’s hard to not do it because it’s so triggering. Now I don’t mind if I like women, however I’m really scared that I’m actually a straight man who likes women (or at least a bisexual man, considering I like men) and I hate it because I don’t want to be a man. Like I’ll think of my desired relationship as a woman dating a man but my OCD will switch it up to me being the man dating the woman, which is the opposite of what I want. I don’t want to be a man at all and I don’t want to date a woman, both of those are the opposite of my desires, but I’m still so scared. I’ll accept myself if I actually like women and am a bisexual woman, however I heard that being bisexual can mean being trans which scares me (for the record it was said in reddit by a sub which is mainly focused on a pseudoscientific phenomenon, that is still believed by the members to be true, so it’s definitely not a trustworthy statement, but my OCD will use anything to work against me) Does anyone here relate a little? 🥲
- OCD newbies
- Transgender OCD
- False Memory OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Real Events OCD
- Students with OCD
- Date posted
- 8w
I have a lot of trouble with my sexuality. I’ve been trying to figure out my sexuality for years. I’ve dated a man, and I wasn’t really into the whole time. And since then I’ve thought that maybe I’m a lesbian because I’m attracted to women, which I know for sure. But then my brain spirals, I constantly think back ti memories with my ex, how I felt with him, I check how it makes me feel. I often google to see if other lesbians have felt similar, I ask ChatGpt over and over again. I feel like I have to be 100% certain or that im faking for attention, or thst I’ll end up with a man. I guess im wondering has anyone else felt like this ? What’s been your experience how do you manage it?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5w
I was wondering if this also happened to anyone. I grew up very open-minded and allowed myself to question my sexuality when I was younger. I explored feelings for both genders and attraction to them from afar, because I didn't have any friends or experiences to guide me through them. When I started dating, I was open to both but slowly and surely naturally phased out women. It always felt performative, like pretending to be upset they didn't respond, choosing who to be attracted to, and while present with them, wanting to back away or feeling a level of discomfort. When my SO-OCD started, these experiences made it very difficult to navigate the anxieties and intrusive thoughts. My thoughts often circled back to the idea that if I wasn't attracted to women, I wouldn't have tried to in the first place. This type of thought is like a Catch-22. On one hand, I am surveying my past actions or memories for any signs of true attraction or trying to pick at moments where I could prove that I was actually uncomfortable. On the other hand, the thought of being uncomfortable with a moment is tainted in my brain because of the idea that I could just be in denial. Any emotion I've ever had gets scrutinized in hindsight, making it feel like any way in which I feel is wrong. SO-OCD has been particularly difficult because of the fact that I've never been pejorative towards being queer or the LGBTQ+ community. It goes against my own values whether or not I am actually queer or actually straight. I remember growing up in an environment (whether school, family, or friends) that was always lined with prejudice towards any type of outsider - OCD makes me feel ashamed for my own want to understand any group or background different from my own. Essentially, I wanted to know if that's also something that plagues others with SO-OCD. For me, no matter what side of the fence I fall on my OCD rewrites it as bad: Either I'm in denial and lying to everyone even though they already secretly know, or I'm a homophobe. Sometimes they even mix. It doesn't make any sense.
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