nicky310
- Date posted
- 7y
KatieKatKatieKat
- Date posted
- 7y
ERP: “I might have a thing for her. Oh, well. I guess we’ll see.”
KatieKatKatieKat
- Date posted
- 7y
It would be abnormal if you didn’t have thoughts like that when HOCD is flaring.
shishishishi
- Date posted
- 7y
I’m sorry you’re struggling. I am too, that’s why I’m here. I know you weren’t gay shaming, I have no judgment about you, your relationship, your identity, or anything other than that we both have OCD issues. I’m currently dealing with major guilt issues. So my affecting you made my guilt soar. It just escalated very quickly! Clearing the air, I really didn’t mean to sound any negative or triggering way to you. I’m just very open and when you mentioned you’re in CBT I thought discussing worst/best case scenario examples would be okay. I didn’t realize my comment would make things worse and knowing what I do now, I wouldn’t do it over again.
nicky310nicky310
- Date posted
- 7y
I’m so sorry you are struggling. I’m sorry I also made you feel guilty. It was actually fine to discuss those :) don’t feel bad! I only spiked I guess cos I thought you had HOCD and from that found out you were gay.. but I didn’t know it was to do with guilt... please don’t feel guilty. You deserve to be happy. This life is short. Chase and cherish whatever makes you happy. Thank you :) and I’m sorry again. I wish I could be of more help xx
nicky310nicky310
- Date posted
- 7y
Basically I love my boyfriend and I dream of marrying him, and waking up next to him everyday. I was doing okay with OCD like doing my exposures, right now I’m struggling and I don’t want to spiral
shishishishi
- Date posted
- 7y
The thing is, curiosity doesn’t make you gay at all. It makes you human. Sometimes I get thoughts about men now but I know I’m not interested because it was never right for me and because (similar to you) I’m in a monogamous relationship with someone I see myself with forever and know that I can say no to any temptation - man or woman - for her. The same way you can for your boyfriend that you love.
nicky310nicky310
- Date posted
- 7y
Sorry your comment was very triggering. I have an OCD. And diagnosed, so please refrain from it. I love my boyfriend that I’m with. And I’m happy being straight. There’s nothing wrong with being gay, I never said that.
nicky310nicky310
- Date posted
- 7y
@shishi
shishishishi
- Date posted
- 7y
Sorry to have triggered you. It wasn’t my intention, my intention was to share my past experience with questioning worst case scenario as CBT. I’ll remove it for you.
nicky310nicky310
- Date posted
- 7y
@shishi HOCD is different to being gay, so please do not post something that might trigger someone
nicky310nicky310
- Date posted
- 7y
@shishi your OCD wasn’t HOCD then... it was something else. That connection you described, I’m happy for you but I’ve never felt that with a girl. Only boys. And love with only boys. So whilst you thought your message wasn’t bad, it set me back a few steps in my recovery. And now I feel awful.
shishishishi
- Date posted
- 7y
Maybe it’s best if you stop shaming me. I’ve stated my intention. Ive deleted my well-intentioned post. I’ve apologized for the result. Like come on if you’re sensitive to OCD triggers you shouldn’t go out of your way to make someone feel guilty. Thanks.
nicky310nicky310
- Date posted
- 7y
I’m sorry I’m not angry at you. I’m sure you didn’t mean to sound the way you did. Im just upset and anxious right now.
nicky310nicky310
- Date posted
- 7y
And I’m really struggling
nicky310nicky310
- Date posted
- 7y
Im sorry, to avoid misunderstanding - I know there isn’t anything wrong with being gay. I’m actually a huge advocate for gay rights. I just struggle with HOCD and losing my sexual identity as a straight person. @shishi also was that your intention? Because I wasn’t gay shaming at all!
nicky310nicky310
- Date posted
- 7y
@shishi I’m really sorry, but I’m kind of struggling badly and I’ve spiked terribly :( not to say this is your fault AT ALL but can you go back to what you said about your HOCD and your CBT? I just want to know if it’s different to what I’m going through :( sorry
shishishishi
- Date posted
- 7y
@nicole310 I can assure you if you do not feel sexually interested in women as you do with men, you are not gay. I think we live in one of the hardest times for people with HOCD today. The nature of entertainment, ads, celebrities, everything is centered around women’s beauty. Even male models are being praised for having characteristically feminine features. So I truly don’t want to make it worse. But I can try and help carefully
nicky310nicky310
- Date posted
- 7y
Thanks, it’s hard for me because before HOCD started I used to get random thoughts about curiousity with the same sex but that’s all it was. Thoughts. I never did anything. After HOCD, it’s like whoah why did I think that etc etc. it’s terrible. And now I definitely don’t want to (even though my mind tells me that’s what I want) I was hoping you could share your experiences with HOCD? If it’s too much, that’s okay :( I understand 100% and I don’t want to trigger you at all.
nicky310nicky310
- Date posted
- 7y
It’s also hard because HOCD diminishes sex drive all together so it’s very confusing. My psychologist said it’s all part of OCD and anxiety.
nicky310nicky310
- Date posted
- 7y
@shishi some insight please?
shishishishi
- Date posted
- 7y
Sorry it took so long it was harder to talk about than I imagined it would be - it’s not something that I ever talk about with people anymore really
nicky310nicky310
- Date posted
- 7y
Thank you so much. I’m really sorry to ask that of you. I really hope you’re happy now and I wish you the best in your OCD recovery
shishishishi
- Date posted
- 7y
No problem. I removed it in case it was too much for anyone else.
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ocdsurviver
- Date posted
- 23w
HOCD - Crushes?
As I’ve posted before, my friends has developed TOUGH hocd and has hit rock bottom :// She told me to ask y’all here if any of you have had a similar experience NOT reassurance (she doesn’t have NOCD). “Hi NOCD community. When I was like 5 I had this distant female cousin whom I played with and grew up. She had super short hair like a boy, but we low key had same interests in toys/tv series etc. and then at THAT age I got a very weird though which said: do you like her? And I remember getting a lot of anxiety and my stomach hurting cause why tf would I have that kind of thought about my female cousin? I remember ruminating about it the whole day, and the next day that thought disappeared and I never had that thought again. We grew up and obviously she’s my family like my sister. But now that I have HOCD, I keep thinking about that memory and I have so much anxiety about it and cry often about it. While growing up I’ve only had crushes on tons of boys at school etc. has anyone had a similar experience?” Thanks for reading if u did! We need support 😭🙏🏻
ocdsurviver
- Date posted
- 23w
Has anyone dealt with this before?
As I’ve posted before, my friends has developed TOUGH hocd and has hit rock bottom :// She told me to ask y’all here if any of you have had a similar experience NOT reassurance (she doesn’t have NOCD). “Hi NOCD community. When I was like 5 I had this distant female cousin whom I played with and grew up. She had super short hair like a boy, but we low key had same interests in toys/tv series etc. and then at THAT age I got a very weird though which said: do you like her? And I remember getting a lot of anxiety and my stomach hurting cause why tf would I have that kind of thought about my female cousin? I remember ruminating about it the whole day, and the next day that thought disappeared and I never had that thought again. We grew up and obviously she’s my family like my sister. But now that I have HOCD, I keep thinking about that memory and I have so much anxiety about it and cry often about it. While growing up I’ve only had crushes on tons of boys at school etc. has anyone had a similar experience?” Thanks for reading if u did! We need support 😭🙏🏻
anonymouscookie
- Date posted
- 18w
so ocd and bisexuality
Hello everyone, I just wanted to share a part of my journey that I’m struggling with right now. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd and while this is not my first subtype, ROCD and so ocd have definitely been the ones I’ve been struggling with the most. For context I have a boyfriend who I love very much and am terrified of loosing. That’s probably what ocd latched onto. The so-ocd especially is tricky because I’ve come to acknowledge that I am bisexual. Don’t worry I didn’t “discover” this through ocd, I’ve always known and it’s been in the back of my mind way before ocd, I had just never really directly acknowledged it because romantically I just always leaned towards men. The thing my ocd latched onto is “what if you are actually a lesbian and don’t know it yet and will have to leave your partner or are lying to your partner or end up leading him on” The thing is, I don’t have much experience with women except kissing my female best friend once, which didn’t feel special or made me have romantic feelings for her. I’ve always seeked men more actively than women and didn’t feel like I was gonna miss out if I get into a serious relationship with a man before having had more experience. I just know that I can be sexually attracted to women as well. But now that I’m in this beautiful relationship I’m terrified of getting it wrong or having missed something about myself or being scared that I’m actually a lesbian and have been lying to myself all along. I’m not seeking reassurance, just wanting to share and maybe someone else is going through something similar? If so I’d be so grateful to know I’m not alone. I love my boyfriend dearly and i really hope we will work out in the long run.
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