- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
ERP: “I might have a thing for her. Oh, well. I guess we’ll see.”
- Date posted
- 6y
It would be abnormal if you didn’t have thoughts like that when HOCD is flaring.
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m sorry you’re struggling. I am too, that’s why I’m here. I know you weren’t gay shaming, I have no judgment about you, your relationship, your identity, or anything other than that we both have OCD issues. I’m currently dealing with major guilt issues. So my affecting you made my guilt soar. It just escalated very quickly! Clearing the air, I really didn’t mean to sound any negative or triggering way to you. I’m just very open and when you mentioned you’re in CBT I thought discussing worst/best case scenario examples would be okay. I didn’t realize my comment would make things worse and knowing what I do now, I wouldn’t do it over again.
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m so sorry you are struggling. I’m sorry I also made you feel guilty. It was actually fine to discuss those :) don’t feel bad! I only spiked I guess cos I thought you had HOCD and from that found out you were gay.. but I didn’t know it was to do with guilt... please don’t feel guilty. You deserve to be happy. This life is short. Chase and cherish whatever makes you happy. Thank you :) and I’m sorry again. I wish I could be of more help xx
- Date posted
- 6y
Basically I love my boyfriend and I dream of marrying him, and waking up next to him everyday. I was doing okay with OCD like doing my exposures, right now I’m struggling and I don’t want to spiral
- Date posted
- 6y
The thing is, curiosity doesn’t make you gay at all. It makes you human. Sometimes I get thoughts about men now but I know I’m not interested because it was never right for me and because (similar to you) I’m in a monogamous relationship with someone I see myself with forever and know that I can say no to any temptation - man or woman - for her. The same way you can for your boyfriend that you love.
- Date posted
- 6y
Sorry your comment was very triggering. I have an OCD. And diagnosed, so please refrain from it. I love my boyfriend that I’m with. And I’m happy being straight. There’s nothing wrong with being gay, I never said that.
- Date posted
- 6y
@shishi
- Date posted
- 6y
Sorry to have triggered you. It wasn’t my intention, my intention was to share my past experience with questioning worst case scenario as CBT. I’ll remove it for you.
- Date posted
- 6y
@shishi HOCD is different to being gay, so please do not post something that might trigger someone
- Date posted
- 6y
@shishi your OCD wasn’t HOCD then... it was something else. That connection you described, I’m happy for you but I’ve never felt that with a girl. Only boys. And love with only boys. So whilst you thought your message wasn’t bad, it set me back a few steps in my recovery. And now I feel awful.
- Date posted
- 6y
Maybe it’s best if you stop shaming me. I’ve stated my intention. Ive deleted my well-intentioned post. I’ve apologized for the result. Like come on if you’re sensitive to OCD triggers you shouldn’t go out of your way to make someone feel guilty. Thanks.
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m sorry I’m not angry at you. I’m sure you didn’t mean to sound the way you did. Im just upset and anxious right now.
- Date posted
- 6y
And I’m really struggling
- Date posted
- 6y
Im sorry, to avoid misunderstanding - I know there isn’t anything wrong with being gay. I’m actually a huge advocate for gay rights. I just struggle with HOCD and losing my sexual identity as a straight person. @shishi also was that your intention? Because I wasn’t gay shaming at all!
- Date posted
- 6y
@shishi I’m really sorry, but I’m kind of struggling badly and I’ve spiked terribly :( not to say this is your fault AT ALL but can you go back to what you said about your HOCD and your CBT? I just want to know if it’s different to what I’m going through :( sorry
- Date posted
- 6y
@nicole310 I can assure you if you do not feel sexually interested in women as you do with men, you are not gay. I think we live in one of the hardest times for people with HOCD today. The nature of entertainment, ads, celebrities, everything is centered around women’s beauty. Even male models are being praised for having characteristically feminine features. So I truly don’t want to make it worse. But I can try and help carefully
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks, it’s hard for me because before HOCD started I used to get random thoughts about curiousity with the same sex but that’s all it was. Thoughts. I never did anything. After HOCD, it’s like whoah why did I think that etc etc. it’s terrible. And now I definitely don’t want to (even though my mind tells me that’s what I want) I was hoping you could share your experiences with HOCD? If it’s too much, that’s okay :( I understand 100% and I don’t want to trigger you at all.
- Date posted
- 6y
It’s also hard because HOCD diminishes sex drive all together so it’s very confusing. My psychologist said it’s all part of OCD and anxiety.
- Date posted
- 6y
@shishi some insight please?
- Date posted
- 6y
Sorry it took so long it was harder to talk about than I imagined it would be - it’s not something that I ever talk about with people anymore really
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you so much. I’m really sorry to ask that of you. I really hope you’re happy now and I wish you the best in your OCD recovery
- Date posted
- 6y
No problem. I removed it in case it was too much for anyone else.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I’m really struggling with something related to me ocd, and I would appreciate kind and supportive advice. If you can’t relate or don’t think anything you have to say would be helpful, I kindly ask pls refrain from commenting this is a really sensitive topic for me. Recently, I’ve noticed a pattern that feels something extremely new and distressing. The first time it happened I remember telling myself before self pleasuring that I am in control no matter what thought comes into my mind because I wanted to prove to myself that these thoughts are just from OCD and I know who I am and an intrusive that came out of no where, and i suddenly felt an intense fear that I was acting on it. In the moment I genuinely felt like I did. And afterword, I panicked and started questioning myself. This SAME FEELING has happened three times in a row each time, the intrusive thought was unwanted and random, and completely against my morals most recently it involved pocd and it feels even worse because it generally felt like I acted on it the thought in the moment while I was self pleasuring the panic doesn’t hit until afterwards when I stop :/ I start thinking that maybe I generally made a mistake and I’m now just realizing that it’s wrong because it generally feels like that :( but when I actually think about it again goes against my morals and values doesn’t make sense it feels incredibly real, and I can’t seem to shake this feeling off that I may have acted on it I’m terrified because I never wanted these thoughts in the first place. And I definitely didn’t choose them. If I had known, I would’ve had these intrusive thoughts I wouldn’t have self pleasured in the first place but it’s extremely hard to convince myself that this may be OCD because I feel like I have no other reason to believe that I didn’t act on it :/
- Date posted
- 18w
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
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- Date posted
- 17w
Does anyone else struggle with this? It's been the main thing powering my POCD, and it's only been getting worse. Especially when I see posts online of people sharing their personal stories relating to CSA, specifically grooming. It's so triggering now, but before this theme developed, the most I'd feel while reading posts like that would be disgust targeted towards people who did those things. Now, my first thought is, "What if I do something like that one day? What if I've done it before and I don't remember or didn't know I was doing it?" I have many, many different intrusive thoughts or worries related to this theme, but it all circles back to this specific fear that I'll become like the people who hurt and took advantage of me. Does anyone have advice for this? I'm not sure if I've asked a similar question in the past or not, but is this something I need to deal with separately before beginning ERP for OCD? I'm just curious and also lost on where to begin with all of this. I'm just glad I'm able to begin working through all of these issues now, rather than later in life when I'd probably have a lot more responsibilities. Anyways, any feedback is appreciated! 🤍
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