- Username
- TorturedSoul
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Do you think this incident caused your OCD to come out?
Hey so I just wanna let you know you’re not alone. My life just fell apart roughly about 4 months ago and it gets better. Long story short: my kind of ex (guy best friend and we liked eachother on and off for 2 years, were a thing for six months then ya) and my best friend got close and I hated it and was really hurt by him (he was awful to me when I was the kindest friend to him, until the end when I responded 10x worse) and we got into a huge fight. Tons of my “friends” from our church turned on me and stopped talking to me and talked bad about me but my school friends remained by my side and I also got my license taken away (another story). Not trying to sound bad but I had gone from this popular girl who went out everyday and never had free time to someone who rarely ever went out. I had lost my guy best friend / boyfriend whom I loved and he promised he wouldn’t leave, my friends, and my license and source of freedom. As well as my health. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago things finally started looking up. I’ve made tons of new friends at the church we go to and school; they’ve all tried to come back and I’ve outgrown them. I got my license back the other day. It was insanely hard though. It was some of the hardest months of my life. My ocd was horrendous, I cried at least once everyday. It’s still hard. Some days harder than others, I’ve cried a lot and apologized and tried to get my life back, but I’m alright with not having the life I had. Cause I’m happy. Just maybe think of it like this, sometimes we must go through the shittiest things to realize how great OURSELVES truly are and how awful some people we thought the world of are. We must learn lessons, sometimes the hard way. But you are incredibly strong and can get through this. I know what it like, you’re not alone.
I’m sorry to hear this. Would you like to talk about it?
And here is a fucked up nightmare , My class is in a bus then it comes close to me im running for the bus and then it leaves just as im a close ;(
The thing is im so sick right now im pretty much house bound so ,And the really sick thing is that i dont wanna really even get better so i deliberetly make myself more sick so i dont have to face up to life because i just got so much hate that im scared what i would do if i was healthy.I would probaply carry out some kind of revenge on someone that has treated me bad my mind is getting really sick lately.
Do you have harm OCD?
Yeah ,Pretty much
I understand and applaud your desire to not harm anyone but please try to get better.
Im having a rough night. Its a long story, but a girl on social media wrote paragraphs trashing me and calling me twisted and fucked up among other horrible things. I'm suffering with pocd but I've been getting better. This girl though is causing me to question myself again. Causing me to hate myself again although everything she said were lies to get people to spew hate at me. I can’t stop crying. How do you rise up from this with also suffering from ocd thoughts?
Ok sorry this is kinda a quick post just desperate for help. Any advice anyone who can provide some help or advice. I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed and suicidal at the moment so writing this isn’t easy, I’m struggling to find the words to describe how I’m feeling right now, so I’m just gonna lay it out as it is. Although I haven’t been formally diagnosed with ocd I have allot and I mean allot of the symptoms. My life and mental state is horrible and it’s hard. Ur I try and get get by with the good things in my life. Sorry I’m not here for a pity party or sob story. I know you all are better and have enough to worry about. Basically I had a friend who was 14 and I met when I was 17. We talked for a few months and while we where pretty chill out conversations sometimes involved more suggestive things. Talking as teenagers do. However as I was getting close to being 18 I knew I had to stop this out of morals and my own judgement. So I did. Or so I thought, I’m my opinion what i said here was wrong and my ocd if I even have it is telling me I’m a creep and some monster who deserves to die and suffer. Basically now I was at the time 18 we where playing Truth and dare. Classic party game for boring nights. And I asked what there best pickup line was. I responded to there’s with “aha that was funny” and moved on. I just feel the dare I said was sexual or inappropriate to ask them. And I feel horrible so horrible I can’t even begin to explain it. I feel hopeless and I’m slowly losing grip of myself. I don’t wanna seem like I’m begging or asking for reassurance but any semblance of hope would help. Or advice honestly I would be great full for both. Thank you for reading whoever you are and i hope ur day is going better than mine.
Ok so my main theme is SOOCD and it eats me alive. When I was being bullied in school I became obsessed with talking to strangers on Omegle and began sexting people- including girls and idk if it’s because I thought it was wrong in my head or something which is why I enjoyed it? But immediately after I’d be like ew can’t believe I did that because I was just so horny for everything. I also watched lesbian porn too so this is something that I did for a couple of years since I was 16 but never something I wanted to do in real life. At the time I didn’t care it was some fun but I’m really traumatised by it ever since. I know I’m straight but my mind tells me because I did this online in the past there is no way I am straight. I feel so alone in the world I’ve been to therapy, had advice from several people but I just can’t listen to anyone because I know I’m the only one who has done that. I feel like it is sooooo hard to move past real events when you have OCD because people’s worst fear for me actually happened. So my OCD will forever convince me that I’m gay because of these events. I hate myself so much and always have- I don’t see a way past this and my life is slowly going downhill in every aspect because of it.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond