Hello here is a story of my past trauma that turned my life upside down and made my ocd monster under my bed. So in high school i said one word and that was the end of me,Bullied ,Abandoned by friends,Isolated,Hated,Made fun off ,Violence, Now im alone no friends ,no job,sick and beat down emotionally ,I feel like a part of me died and all thats left is unresolved hate . "Be it a rock or a grain of sand, in water they sink as the same." Doesnt matter how big or little sin or mistake can be the end of u, Life really is crazy.

Do you think this incident caused your OCD to come out?

Hey so I just wanna let you know you’re not alone. My life just fell apart roughly about 4 months ago and it gets better. Long story short: my kind of ex (guy best friend and we liked eachother on and off for 2 years, were a thing for six months then ya) and my best friend got close and I hated it and was really hurt by him (he was awful to me when I was the kindest friend to him, until the end when I responded 10x worse) and we got into a huge fight. Tons of my “friends” from our church turned on me and stopped talking to me and talked bad about me but my school friends remained by my side and I also got my license taken away (another story). Not trying to sound bad but I had gone from this popular girl who went out everyday and never had free time to someone who rarely ever went out. I had lost my guy best friend / boyfriend whom I loved and he promised he wouldn’t leave, my friends, and my license and source of freedom. As well as my health. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago things finally started looking up. I’ve made tons of new friends at the church we go to and school; they’ve all tried to come back and I’ve outgrown them. I got my license back the other day. It was insanely hard though. It was some of the hardest months of my life. My ocd was horrendous, I cried at least once everyday. It’s still hard. Some days harder than others, I’ve cried a lot and apologized and tried to get my life back, but I’m alright with not having the life I had. Cause I’m happy. Just maybe think of it like this, sometimes we must go through the shittiest things to realize how great OURSELVES truly are and how awful some people we thought the world of are. We must learn lessons, sometimes the hard way. But you are incredibly strong and can get through this. I know what it like, you’re not alone.

I’m sorry to hear this. Would you like to talk about it?

And here is a fucked up nightmare , My class is in a bus then it comes close to me im running for the bus and then it leaves just as im a close ;(

The thing is im so sick right now im pretty much house bound so ,And the really sick thing is that i dont wanna really even get better so i deliberetly make myself more sick so i dont have to face up to life because i just got so much hate that im scared what i would do if i was healthy.I would probaply carry out some kind of revenge on someone that has treated me bad my mind is getting really sick lately.

Do you have harm OCD?

Yeah ,Pretty much

I understand and applaud your desire to not harm anyone but please try to get better.