- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Don’t feel guilty. You experience thought processes that others don’t have to deal with. You’re actually doing great. Keep your head held high.
- Date posted
- 5y
You're doing Great dont rush though, you help in whatever you can even if it's little. Heal first. Dont ask for forgiveness simply just say Thank you. We all need a little push, a mentor, a brace, a guide. And that's nothing to be ashamed of. Take your time. The best flowers take time to bloom.
- Date posted
- 5y
First, deep breath. Don't beat yourself up. For every negative situation that came from my life, I turned it into a positive. I know it's not what you want to hear right know. Just know, I was in a similar situation. Had no job for a long while, felt useless to my family. Go back to the drawing board. Start small. It's best to write or plan out. It sounded like you're out of a job. So, today, for instance, start looking for jobs in your area. Next day, start searching for affordable cars, like on Car max or something. Start with goals that you feel you can do easily. I know you are freaking out right now, but take a deep breath. Go for a walk. I know the world feels like a prison right now. There is help out there. I hear you, and I can see that you are in a lot of pain. Just know you are stronger than you think. Don't believe me? Sit down and write in a journal all the strengths, what people like about you. You're having a shitty day, and it will pass. Sometimes it helps to have a clear mind after a good night's rest, exercise or aafter a nice long walk. If you are having a mental health crisis, I encourage you to speak to someone one on one.
- Date posted
- 5y
Oops, somewhere in my post, I meant "now" not "know". You'll know where.
- Date posted
- 5y
If disability (short term or long term) is offered by your company then now is the time. Head to your doctor ASAP, ask if they would support it based on your diagnosis(es) and your current work environment. Many times disability from a specific company/role (not social security disability) is based on your ability to continue working that role (not any job at all) and if you have a good doctor most are very supportive. You are doing a lot of things I do (catasrophizing, labeling and judging myself, predicting the future... and saying I’m sorry too much). Remember to be kind to yourself. You may need some time to do that - just make sure if you don’t go back to work soon you may want to look into some immediate ERP, therapy, or intensive outpatient program... it’s one of OCD’s games... you stop being able to function within a toxic work environment, and then not working leaves us just to our thoughts which are just as paralyzing. Keep with what you’re doing, let people help, and count everything you did today that you haven’t been able to do on another day (that could include getting out of bed)! I recently got a small book on Mindfulness for OCD which was super helpful. I wish you, everyone here, and myself the best in this journey. PS. I hard day too.
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm in a similar situation. I'm about to quit my job this week. I'm interviewing for another job.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you to everyone who responded to this. I’m doing better this morning. It’s still stressing me out but I’m not panicking as much
- Date posted
- 5y
Glad to hear that you are feeling better, Jordan. Focus your energy on creating and woring towards your goals, not On beating yourself up. -"Let your energy be used to build, not destroy"(from my tea bag this morning ?). You got this one, Jordyn!
- Date posted
- 5y
Oh, I'm sorry again! I meant "working" NOT woring (because it sounds like "whoring") . And I misspelled your name in the beginning. Forgive me!!!
- Date posted
- 5y
I can somewhat relate. I had to take several weeks of FMLA leave due to serious worsening of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts (following a suicide attempt). I wanted to get so much personal stuff done before going back to work, but I ended up having to use that time to deal with several other unexpected emergencies so when it was time to go back to work (after several weeks - I think it was 6), I still didn’t feel ready, but I’ve been slowly easing back into it starting with 1-4 hours per day, which slowly increased from 1 hour up to four hours over the course of a month. Well, I work for a university so we’ve been off since 12/21, and I’m dreading going back again! In fact, I still feel like my personal life is such a mess, and I’ll never be able to get to a decent place mentally if I have to juggle work and personal life, and I suffer from narcolepsy, so I only have so much energy in a given day. I feel like I need several months completely off to get my personal life under control, but my therapist (who is overseeing my FMLA) can relate to my issues, and told me that I need to return to work, even if it is just for limited hours. Also, I’m not sure if your issue is 100% related to your OCD, or is a combination of your work environment and OCD. If it is the latter, you might want to look into getting a different job, and maybe it might be helpful to disclose that you have a disability (OCD is covered under the ADA) to potentially have more understanding from your superiors. But again, IDK how much of your anxiety is related to actual work conditions or is a byproduct of your OCD blowing minor events out of proportion in your head. If you do go back to your current job, I highly recommend easing back into work a little bit at a time and building up as our OCD subsides, which is exactly how ERP works. If your employer isn’t on board for such reduced hours, you might need to involve HR regarding reasonable accommodation for your disability (OCD). It really sucks, but if I can do it, anyone can do it. Also, don’t believe all of your thoughts (like in regards to people being disappointed in you, etc.), I’m willing to bet that most of those are lies that your OCD has made up, especially since my OCD does that too! Best of luck!!!
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi. Beth! I as well applied for FMLA, but it is managed by my supervisor (personal leave). When it came time to tell her about why I was asking for leave, I choked. I told her it was for an anxiety disorder, not OCD, and that the harassment I was receiving at work was only compounding that. She replied in disbelief, "That's it!?" I was not comfortable disclosing anything further, including the fact that I was seeing a therapist. So I am planning to quit my job because I feel burned out in my current job.
- Date posted
- 5y
So, IDK what organization and company you work for, but in the United States, your medical / health information is supposed to be 100% confidential and the specifics are NOT to be shared with anyone other than a representative within Human Resources department, ESPECIALLY NOT YOUR SUPERVISOR! I had a previous supervisor that tried pulling similar bullshit regarding a reasonable accommodation, and wanting to read the request before submitting it to HR (she should have not been involved in the first place), so instead, I wrote what needed to be written sealed it in an enveloped and signed my name / signature, along the seal, so she wasn’t able to open it before giving it to HR, and I know if she had, she would have wanted me to change some of the verbiage (because it made her look bad, but she was a terrible supervisor who was seriously violating my protections as an employee, so it needed to be done). Fortunately, that situation was regarding a physical disability (narcolepsy), which is more understandable and WAY LESS STIGMATIZED than mental disorders. In regards to my current FMLA, and my current / WAY BETTER AND UNDERSTANDING supervisor, I only disclosed to her that I was having serious mental and physical health problems (which was true since my mental health caused my physical health to worsen). She never saw the actual FMLA paperwork, and has no idea that it is my therapist who is submitting the documentation, AND THAT’S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE! At this point, in your situation, the damage between you and your supervisor is already done, and might only get worse, so you might be better off finding another job, especially if the work environment is mostly what is triggering your issues (mine was mostly related to my personal life). BUT, you might want to reach out to your HR department (if available) to explain the situation and learn more about your options.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Beth823 BTW, my terrible supervisor also yelled at me after the fact that I had signed my name across the seal, which was also bullshit. I took a lot of bullying from her that was TOTAL UNACCEPTABLE and 100% interfered with my rights as an employee and made my anxiety and other health issues skyrocket because I worked in a toxic work environment. I’m so happy to be out of that situation, so leaving might be your best option. Best of luck!!!
- Date posted
- 5y
Wow, thank you for responding and being open about your situation. I'm running out of time (going back to work, fulfilling my my obligatory 2 wks notice). But thank you Beth for your advice and for your time. I'll try to update you. I'm glad you're getting your life back together. Best of luck to you as well!
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you, HappySCMommy! You must be some kind of angel sent down to earth to help others! I cried after reading your post! I went to work today and discovered my name not on the schedule and immediately thought, wow, I've been "let go" at my job (catastrophizing), which was odd because I didn't receive a call from my supervisor. So, I unpack my locker and drive home in a state of shock, thinking to myself wow I've just been fired. Turns out, I just got my schedule mixed up! Yes, you are right, on many points,including the fact that I say sorry a lot, sometimes for no reason at all! So, thank you again for your support and advice. I hope for the best for you as well!?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Today my mom broke down crying because of how much stress she feels having to take care of me, she said I can’t do anything in terms of being able to take care of myself and she’s right I can’t, she breaks down constantly because of me, I don’t know what to do, it’s been like this for years, part of me feels like the only way to save her is to kill myself, I don’t want to die, but it feels like the only way to set her free, I don’t think anyone but her would miss me anyways, I feel utterly hopeless. I’m not going to do anything to myself the voices are just SCREAMING that I need to. I can’t work, I can’t go to school, I’m trying desperately to get therapy, I don’t know what else to do, I wish I was a child again and I felt like I had a chance to be okay. I love my mom so much and she loves me and I’m killing her, I’m actually killing her, with how fuckinh worthless and pathetic I am, it’s too much, I miss being a kid.
- Date posted
- 24w
I don’t know what I can do. I guess this is more of a depression thing than OCD but who knows. I have been battling this ongoing war within myself for years now and it’s been affecting my academic performance. situation of mine right now: I haven’t done a lot of work for my classes this month and I feel like I’m going to fail the semester again. I don’t know what it is but I can never seem to begin any work. I know I am capable but why can’t I get myself to start? why has this been going on for so long? I don’t understand. I have a history of good grades back in high school before I turned 17. I don’t even know how to describe it. it’s like I’ve been paralyzed and cannot do any work. but I can somehow do offside tasks like pinterest boards or random youtube videos. if I get rid of those, what do I do? I end up sleeping. because I’m tired. I have a low vitamin D deficiency & have been trying to get energy. I’m at a loss. I also bought unnecessary stuff on sunday when I went out with my family. I bought some things for the kids and I ended up buying myself a dress and a few accessories. now I have to work extra to gain that money back doing uber eats because I need it asap. it’s like I don’t want to work, for now. my coworkers who are around my age don’t work as much & I think to myself, “wow, they must be getting in the work done” meanwhile I’m working 3 days a week (which isn’t much) and attending school. I feel like if I change my schedule again, I’ll ruin it for the rest of my driver coworkers. I’m in a lead position at work so having to put on a mask is quite tiring. there’s so much I want to say that I don’t think it will fit in this post. I have booked a mental health session with a school counselor. all I want at the moment is to have my own place and be in a better mental state to take care of my cats. they mean a lot to me but this stupid ass undiagnosed mental issue is getting in the way. sorry for the long rant. I am tired.
- Date posted
- 23w
This past week I realized I have not friends. It makes me feel lonely. I’ve been homeschooled my whole life, so my only social life would be work or church. I don’t have a job right now due to medical reasons. But I feel like such a fucking loser right now. The voices of my family and myself are making me feel horrible. “You couldn’t even kill yourself right.” Is what my brother said. He told me I need to grow up and realize that nobody gives a fuck. I feel like there’s something wrong with me. Am I really just a sensitive piece of shit? Am I just being dramatic? I feel so lost right now. I can’t stop comparing myself to others who seem to be doing so well. It’s not like I haven’t been searching for a job. They’ve all turned me down. I’ve gotten help and I know my resume is great. Maybe my dad is right that it’s really just how I am. People are hired because of the way they are. I am not outgoing or friendly or approachable and it makes me hate myself so much. I know I can’t kill myself. I can’t put that financial and emotional burden on my family. I’m already enough of a burden as it is. I know that I’m “never a burden,” but the truth is I am. My mom even admitted that I was the most burden of a child and it makes me feel so guilty. I wish they didn’t love me. It’s so selfish and horrible to say that. I know there’s someone out there who deserves my life and family more than I do. I deserve punishment and failure. But I want an answer. It’s impossible to know the future. Am I right? Am I really destined for failure? If only I got that answer I’d be relieved. It’s not the ideal answer, but it’s still an answer. I don’t have to try anymore. It’s fucking tiring. I know I’m not alone. I just don’t know anymore. Maybe I need to realize that this is real life and life’s not fair.
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