I definitely am not asking anyone to reassure me, just wanted to share. I’m feeling kinda down because my OCD has made me really doubt the existence of God which is hard because I’ve been a believer my whole life. Just a shitty feeling that’s been hard to deal with for me.

I grew up in a church and I currently identify as agnostic. I 100% believe that even the most devout religious people have doubts and fears. I also stand strong in my convictions that it does not make you a bad person for questioning the existence of God. I question a lot of things about life (because it's so wonderful and there are so many things to learn! ?). Know that you are not alone and you are not your thoughts.

@faith I have been dealing with the same doubts for almost my whole adult life, and I agree with hedgehogger that every else does too, we just don’t talk about it. A few years ago my ocd got ahold of the existence ofGod thing and whether God exists and whether I believe in God and what if I’m losing my faith. It’s been really shitty. I identify as a Christian, but the things I believe in have changed a lot. No one really knows whether God exists—if faith was that easy no one would have trouble believing. Mostly I now just think that God is so much bigger than I thought God could be. I can’t tell you or me definitively that God exists, but I am choosing to shape my life around the premise that he does, because doing so makes sense to me and brings me structure and foundation that I want and need. And I try to model the grace and love that Jesus showed to those around him. And that’s all I can do. I can’t force myself to believe anymore than I do, and faith will probably always be like sand in my gears. All I can do is hope. If you are a reader, I have found people like Nadia bolz-Weber, Richard rohr, Pete enns, and Frederick bruechner to be so helpful to me through this deconstruction. I see death and resurrection all around me, and the deepest hope of my being is that that is true in ways that I don’t even realize.

Im going through the same thing. These past couple days ive been experiencing intrusive thoughts about leaving my faith because then I will be ''free". Ive also struggled with a variety of other doubts including the existence of God, and im a very active believer, trying to live out my Christianity so this is all very hard. I have a journal where ive written down evidences for my faith, including blessings or things that have happened in ny life that I attribute to God, but I know that can easily lead to reassurance.

The worst thing is that you start to doubt yourself and lose touch with what you yourself actually believe, feeding the anxiety and feeling of being stuck. I experience relationship ocd as well so I try to remember that when I doubt that it is OCD.

God wants you to question. If you do not question, you would only be a follower, not a believer. Religion is the search for truth, so do not be afraid. God has always been inside you and will always be there to guide you through. Even when u can't feel him there.