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- 5y
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- 5y
Not gonna read that because I know that many people obsess about that one and I did hold myself not to read it up because I know it’s gonna just make my hocd more worst so do trigger warming next time because I think there is people who did not about that one like me and I still do not but yeah xd Also even that thing I am not sure what is it becaue I did not read it but you got this. Hocd is worst but you got this !!
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- 5y
Do you think the time you've spent on this question is time will spent?
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- 5y
This used to make me spike so much but here's the thing someone who is a compulsory heterosexual will for example pick out the least attractive person out of a crowd and say they're attractive. They won't feel comfortable imagining themselves with people of the opposite sex who have distinct features instead of a blurry face. They know they aren't attracted to them they just don't know what's that phenomena
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- 5y
Ok wait just a quick question! My crush (currently) isn't the most attractive person but I never picked him out of a crowd, it suddenly just happened out of the blue, but he does have district features and I feel attracted to him and I'm extremely comfy thinking of him, is that compulsory heterosexuality???
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- 5y
@chamomile No it isn't. Everyone has a type. My current crush for example isn't what usually is my type but he's very attractive and I didn't pick him out of a crowd either. You feel good thinking about him which means you're not forced to
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- 5y
@notfortalk But I never spoke to him but most of my friends and my mom suspect he likes me too (or at least admires). My HOCD really makes me doubt my attraction towards cause of the topic of compulsory heterosexuality
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- 5y
@chamomile That's fine. I never really spoke with a lot of the guys I had I crush on yet I liked them and I wished I could. Hopefully he does really like you back and you two could start spending time together that will really make a change with your ocd ;)
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- 5y
@notfortalk Oh thanks for the support I really hope one day I'll tell him but whenever I really like a guy or look at a guy, things that have been natural to me, they now feel unnatural and I feel like I force it. Any tips on that?
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- 5y
The amount of time and questioning we put into orientation you would deffinantly find the truth in it. If it were your truth. I read that denial is not a thought that is so disturbing that it refuses to surface from our subconscious. Its activly knowing what you like and going against it. Like a women can be diagnosed with cancer and yet doesnt get treatment or even acnowledge she has it because she is afraid of facing it.
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- 5y
Exactly
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- 5y
So I would’ve known before HOCD?? And the night I got it I wouldn’t have had a panick and anxiety attack why this was happing to me right?? If I was in dneial or gay/bi
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- 5y
@Dre249 This sounds like everyones hocd to me. Even mine. Comes on in an instant usually with a panic attack.
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- 5y
@lizzy123 Yeah
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- 5y
this makes sense, omg. But I once came out to my mom out of anxiety that I'm gay but I never felt happy instead I broke down. Is that something that happens to actual gay people?
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- 5y
@chamomile You did??
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- 5y
@Dre249 Yeah I did but I don't like it. It got so real at that point
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- 5y
@chamomile Oh I’d like to k ow the answer to this also
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- 5y
@Dre249 I never felt happy. I've read that gay people feel light and happy when they come out. I just broke down
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- 5y
There’s no such thing as compulsory heterosexuality
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- 5y
It’s horseshite the “woke” community spouts and unfortunately they don’t give a shit about people like us!
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- 5y
It's actually a phenomen that was explored by a lesbian writer in the 70s. It's usually affects lesbians, but also gay men. Just don't mixed up because the poeple affected by it are aware of their desires
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- 5y
@notfortalk I don’t believe it in I think it’s rubbish If you’re (for arguments sake) “compulsory heterosexual” then you KNOW you’re going about life lying to yourself, know you’d rather be with the same sex Ocd is cruel and latches on to this then confuses people who are genuinely just straight
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- 5y
@uwotm8 We live in a patriarchal heteronormative society that pushes heterosexual relationships on lgbt people. They experienced compulsory heterosexuality because it's what society pushes on them, because they think being gay is bad and is a sin and they will be isolated if other know their sexuality. Just like us people with mental illnesses feel like we won't ever find a place to fit in, so do they.
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- 5y
@notfortalk You’re missing my point They KNOW they’re gay though! People with hocd are manipulative by these kind of articles then, where they go “wait omg what if I am and didn’t even realise?” See the difference?
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- 5y
@uwotm8 Manipulated* Christ this autocorrect is annoying
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- 5y
@uwotm8 But what should they do? Stop talking about this because we have ocd? Should we also put our lives on hold until this will go away? No. They should talk about their struggles the same way we should talk about the struggles surrounding our illness
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- 5y
@notfortalk I’m not saying that I’m saying there’s no such thing as “compulsory heterosexuality” - there’s bigots and closed minded assholes, but there’s no such things as compulsory anything There’s no “compulsory good mental health” either
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- 5y
@uwotm8 The thing is compulsory heterosexuality is a term invented by one women to describe one way of behaving. It's not a mental thing like ocd,gad or bipolar. But it is compulsory as in they feel the need to fit into heteronormative standards. For example I know I'm straight yet I obsess over it anyway, I know cleaning spefic part of my face that were exposed won't keep me away from any illnesses but I do anyway because I have the compulsive need to do that. For them knowing about compulsory heterosexuality it makes them more sure of their sexuality because then they know they're not straight. Just like ocd does the same for us. We feel safe in our diagnosis because it makes our thoughts fake tho we don't believe that
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- 5y
@notfortalk Exactly, it’s an invented term, that’s my point. It’s just a theory to describe living amongst pricks, it’s not something tangible like a mental health diagnoses is, but people here sadly are really affected by it anyway- ironically because their diagnosed illness is manipulated by a theory someone came up with
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- 5y
@uwotm8 Yes that's true. It's not like having a mental illness. In a way it reassemble soocd but it's not the same thing. It's like being in the closet and putting on a mask for the poeple outside. However these people are affected by it because some people do experience it but as I said it's totally different. Ocd latches on anything that makes you scared, so we can't do much about it anyway. But these things you just know
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- 5y
@notfortalk It’s all ocd, it’s all the same thing, it’s not about the gender at all it’s just it manifests in gay people “what if-ing” about being straight, and straight people “what-ifing” about being gay Listen to the ocd stories podcasts. They have loads on this
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- 5y
@uwotm8 So I’m not bi or gay????
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- 5y
@uwotm8 I’m getting the thought that I’ve been “acting” straight and have had fake crushes on girls when I really liked the crushes
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- 5y
@uwotm8 Yeah but compulsory heterosexuality and ocd are different. They use it as a kind of "cover" while there are gay people with soocd. It's not all ocd as a lof of people may think. Those people usually are genuinely questioning
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- 5y
@Dre249 You have ocd, listen to the ocd stories podcast with Elvis Gomes, I think it’s episodes 15 and 149
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- 5y
@Dre249 They’re specifically about sexual orientation ocd they talk about it in depth there
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- 5y
@uwotm8 So I would’ve known before HOCD?? And the night I got it I wouldn’t have had a panick and anxiety attack why this was happing to me right?? If I was in dneial or gay/bi
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- 2y
@uwotm8 Facts. If only people would understand their ideologies and motives, we wouldn't have these terms invented tp confuse people. I completely agree with you. Do you have any other social media? I would love to get to know you more, so you seem like a rational thinking person✨️
Related posts
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- 19w
I wanted to voice that homosexuals can get HOCD too. I remember when i was younger and knew i was gay i still got HOCD one time when watching The Office. I thought Pam was so pretty and then started doubting my whole identity because what if i am straight? Oh god, what a terror if i was heterosexual. But anyway, thought that maybe this would help heteros with HOCD by knowing that this is a universal symptom across OCD sufferers of all sexual orientations. A big problem is calling this subtype “Homosexual OCD,” because its not. It has nothing to do with being homo or hetero or bi or anything. Its just OCD being a bully. I think labelling subtypes is an issue altogether, as it can unconsciously make people feel like its not just OCD. But it is. Does this make any sense? What are yall’s thoughts on this? Or is this just my OCD talking? (Im not seeking reassurance just genuinely find this interesting) TLDR; each time we “qualify” OCD with a subtype, we reinforce that the subtype is part of the issue. In reality, OCD is just a broken loop in our brains, and thoughts are just thoughts. And Pam Beesly is a hottie.
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- 5w
signs of comphet (comphet is when lesbians who don’t know it and just follow norms and believe there straight) ive felt: “I never really felt anything when kissing boys and totally thought that was normal… I talk to men, go on dates, but I think it’s to keep my life ‘interesting’ and have something to talk about with friends.” • lack of deep, natural emotional connection • trying to replay moments where i “felt” something with my boyfriend (probably arousal or excitement from being wanted, not actual sexual/romantic attraction) to again remind myself of my “attraction” towards them• talking about my boyfriend to other people made me feel “cool”, “worthy”, “interesting” and felt like a way to prove myself • being able to clearly articulate all the reasons I liked a guy crush/my boyfriend (he’s smart, funny, kind, handsome, etc) whereas with a girl crush I can’t exactly put my finger on why I like them but I’m just naturally drawn to them • never missing my exes or feeling heartbroken about them (i would feel sad from being lonely and no longer having that daily routine of having someone to talk to, but didn’t necessarily miss that specific person) • i was always very hesitant about “becoming official” with a guy i would be seeing and would make him wait before deciding to date because i “didn’t know if i really liked him or not” (i didn’t!) only being aroused by their desire for me (this is what made me figure out I was a lesbian). • Thinking I was cooler than other girls because I didn't spend any time thinking about how cute boys were or being "boy-crazy". I was under the impression for a while that I must just be less shallow than other people because I didn't really take looks into account when I had a crush on a boy, I only factored in their personality. Turns out this is called not being attracted to men and just wanting to be their friend! XD i’m scared my experiences with men have been only comphet because they all align with this. like when i had my hocd break for two years and went back to men it aligns with comphet so now im like was me going back to men not genuine and im actually lesbian. but it’s like have i been emotionally or romantically actually attracted to a man or has it been comphet and i haven’t and i just did it because i thought i should like my sister or friends
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- 5w
hi guys i added to list. i’m freaking out i just need some help. signs of comphet (comphet is when lesbians who don’t know it and just follow norms and believe there straight) ive felt: “I never felt anything when kissing boys and totally thought that was normal… I talk to men, go on dates, but I think it’s to keep my life ‘interesting’ and have something to talk about with friends.” • lack of deep, natural emotional connection • • talking about my boyfriend to other people made me feel “cool”, “worthy”, “interesting” and felt like a way to prove myself • being able to clearly articulate all the reasons I liked a guy crush/my boyfriend (he’s smart, funny, kind, handsome, etc) whereas with a girl crush I can’t exactly put my finger on why I like them but I’m just naturally drawn to them • never missing my exes or feeling heartbroken about them (i would feel sad from being lonely and no longer having that daily routine of having someone to talk to, but didn’t necessarily miss that specific person) • i was always very hesitant about “becoming official” with a guy i would be seeing and would make him wait before deciding to date because i “didn’t know if i really liked him or not” only being aroused by their the man’s desire for me • Thinking I was cooler than other girls because I didn't spend any time thinking about how cute boys were or being "boy-crazy". I was under the impression for a while that I must just be less shallow than other people because I didn't really take looks into account when I had a crush on a boy, I only factored in their personality. chasing the ego boost more than emotional closeness agreed with friends or mom about someone being attractive even if you didn’t feel it—another big flag being bored, ditching serious commitment, chasing the drama again it also feels like i’m acting a lot of the time to make it more romantic cause i cringe When you fantasize about men, it is mostly just enacting a kind of narrative. More focused on movement than features- the men in your fantasies might be faceless or blank-featured or their bodies might symbolize some emotion. you might not even be in the in the fantasy, but instead another faceless woman might be. You might even imagine yourself as the man. The narrative follows the sexual script, but the details are more vague and abstract and might even shift and change throughout the fantasy. i dont care about like what guys looks like. like my sister saw a video of a guy working out and was like got damn omg gotta like that. if i saw that i would prob be like damn to try and prove something to myself but i don’t really understand what i should feel it feels like i relate to so much comphet after i read it on reddit and it doesn’t even make me want to cry and die anymore. it feels like i tolerate men or have done it for attention or because i thought it was going to happen at some point cause it was what was happening around me like sister and friends. i’m scared ill never find someone i want to marry that’s a man it feels like it’s all just comphet and i don’t want to actually be with a man the more my meds work and anxiety lessens the more the fear feels real because i can’t get myself anxious about it anymore. i can about other stuff but not this. i always told myself i don’t chase i attract. maybe thats cause i never wanted a big badly enough. maybe what im missing is a girl what if that ends up feeling more real Straight people don’t need to talk themselves into what’s hot. like during the hocd break i would try and like see what was “hot” and and be like yeah that’s hot. i also i refused to masturbate to women and not think about it because i didn’t want it to prove that i still liked it but i mean idk if that was left over hocd
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