- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
I don't know what Pure OCD means, but I have had OCD all of my life and I'm in recovery...
I always feel worse with my OCD after nights out/drinking. I am not alcoholic but I do think that alcohol/detoxing from it can make OCD worse
I stopped drinking two years ago, so I could get to the root cause of my illness. I had used alcohol and pot to blunt a lot of my ocd feelings. Probably kept me from seeking help for many years. Wish I had not self medicaided that way. Still struggling with the ocd on the regular. But love waking up without the hangovers
i can totally relate! stopped drinking 4 years ago and stopped smoking pot 1 1/2 years ago. both of which i used to self medicate. now i’m faced with ocd all up in my face.
@I n I I feel the same. The ocd is always present. Weird. At least I see it clearly now. Though there are times it would be nice to dull the feelings, I do like being present.
Yes.
Hi guys! I’m new here! I have struggled with OCD and insomnia since I was a child but wasn’t DX till recently. For the past 3-4 years I have struggled on and off with issues involving alchole and sleeping pills. I had been doing really well for awhile but recently had a relapse. Feeling very guilty. I used to go to meetings when I would notice my alchole intake increasing but always felt a little out of place due too the OCD component. Which has led me here...
we are here for you! You’re not alone!
Thank you. It feels better just knowing this exists!
Yep. It’s a battle for me too. Keep fighting brother.
Glad to see I’m not alone. Been struggling recently with false memory OCD in my recovery- thoughts that maybe I’ve taken a drink in sobriety and am hiding it or even forgotten about it, thinking about nights out where I’ve stayed sober and gotten a non-alcoholic beverage but my mind legimately convinces me it had alcohol in it. It’s brutal.
It's tough if you're truly "dual diagnosed" with addiction and mental illness (OCD) I would just say stay the course my friend! It gets tricky for me because AA around my area are super big into "sigularity of purpose" They don't want to hear about your mental health issues and...ugh...I've actually seen them ask someone to leave for mentioning drugs! We are all just trying to do the right thing but...that looks different to different people. I take Suboxone daily so it's a deal where you are at times, "sober with the exception of." The NA meetings around here are a mess! No sober time, shady shit going on in the parking lot...you're better off to just go to AA meetings and not bring up certain things. Idk you personally, but just know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I struggle so bad with intrusive thoughts. They can be so bad that I'll cry because I KNOW that's not how I feel or want to do. (Too embarrassed to say what they're about) I'll constantly try to figure out why I have them, and constantly figure out what they mean, causing me to constantly circle around and around. I had to get on anxeity meds, which helped a little but the thoughts still happen. How do you help yourself with this? How do you know that you're just not some physcopath? 😅
I’ve been feeling the urge to avoid intimacy or purposefully engage (for reassurance that I won’t give into a compulsion) because of intrusive thoughts and fear that I’ll “check/test” my reactions. My OCD is making me so scared that I’ll purposefully think of a child and try to see if I like it. It’s so complicated but I guess I’m mentally checking if I would mentally check during intimacy. I’ve even envisioned myself checking and it’s making me so nauseous. I know it’s a compulsion like any other but the sound of “touching yourself to the thought of a child” sounds atrocious and vile. I’m terrified I’ll automatically start checking next time I am being intimate. I truly feel so worried. If anyone has gone through something similar, I’d appreciate hearing your experience. Or if anyone has any advice?
Hello all, I’ve dealt with various OCD themes and compulsions for pretty much as long as I can remember. In some periods of my life the thoughts and compulsions have been particularly severe, but I’ve also had years where I’m able to keep it under control. This has made me worry I don’t actually have OCD, especially because I haven’t been doing consistent therapy and my therapists have gone back and forth on whether I have OCD. In the past few years, I’ve struggled immensely with false memory ocd, and right now I’m going through probably the most severe episode of my life. I love my boyfriend with all my heart. A few times that I’ve gone out drinking I’ve had the thought before “what if I lost control and cheated tonight” and it’s bothered me severely. Two times before, it’s gotten to the point of convincing myself that because I talked to a man that meant I had cheated on my boyfriend and just couldn’t remember. It has never turned out to be true. About a month ago, I went out with friends and had too much to drink. I was really ashamed of myself the next morning, particularly because I always try to drink cautiously now that I know it can trigger my anxiety. I am ashamed to admit I do not remember the very end of the night getting in my uber and going home. I woke up anxious and extremely worried and immediately started off by worrying if I could have tried to kiss my friend and not remembered. I called him and was immediately reassured nothing had happened, I simply drank too much and went home at the end of the night. I started feeling better, but then remembered a moment I had been in the bathroom. I remembered chatting with people in line about how long the line was, and then being in the bathroom on my phone. I then felt like I remembered people knocking and saying to myself “that wasn’t that long” and leaving. There is nothing concrete that I remember that in any way indicates I cheated, and in fact I have texts with my boyfriend from the whole night telling him I loved him. My friend told me that the only time I was ever apart from him was about 5 minutes and that when he came back I was in the same exact spot he left me in. However, when I remembered being in the bathroom, I thought to myself “what if you cheated on him in the bathroom”/ “oh my god did you cheat on him in the bathroom” and then a series of images of me performing sexual acts popped into my head. I’ve poured over my memory and truly do not remember meeting anyone, talking to anyone, or even finding anyone attractive that night, but the fact that I was drinking makes me worried I’m just forgetting and these images could be real. I’ve been constantly ruminating on these fears for the past month, to the point that the only relief I feel is when I’m able to fall asleep. I’m a law student and it’s becoming extremely difficult to keep up with my classes. I’ve been google searching, asked chat gpt for advice, confessed my fears to my boyfriend, asked for reassurance from pretty much everyone in my life, and even emailed the bar asking for security footage (which I know all sounds insane). I’m a naturally guilty person and feel bad about small things, so I really don’t think I would be capable of cheating and then nonchalantly texting my boyfriend, but these images feel so real that it’s terrifying. I’ve also seen a lot about how I would “just know” and that begins to scare me because then I think “you do just know, you did it” even though I really don’t think I did. I know these posts are not supposed to be for reassurance seeking, I’m just so exhausted and feeling really depressed. I’m wondering if anyone has experienced something similar and has any advice. I’m also wondering if images can feel more real the more you ruminate on them or if it’s a sign of memory. Thank you so much for listening.
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