- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Comment deleted by user
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- 5y
I thought this was a legit letter for a second until I got to “a particular set of skills” ?
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- 5y
Amazing ???
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- 5y
Literally I don’t know what I did to deserve your torment, but I am in therapy, and you are going to get weaker and weaker, and I know that scares the shit out of you.
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- 5y
Absolutely amazing ❤️ I commend you for going to therapy
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- 5y
fuck you ocd!!!! stop telling me what to do and get out of my head.
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- 5y
Sometimes I hate you ocd but then I remember you are doing this to try to protect me. You love me so I love you. But I cannot allow you to steer the ship anymore. Your vision of truth is skewed so I cannot follow your directions. You are scared and helpless and I want to help you learn to follow my lead. You don’t have to guide me anymore. I know that with time we will gain an understanding of each other and we can achieve peace and harmony.
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- 5y
WOW!! Incredible take on it.
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- 5y
@Tori B :) Thanks :) it’s helped to be more compassionate to my dumb brain and treat like a scared child that I have to help instead of an enemy that I must defeat. For me personally aggressive behaviors towards make me feel less aware of myself and make it easier to get lost in the cycle
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- 5y
@chinarider I’ve never heard of that take before! I’ve always seen it as a tormentor or brokenness that needed to be fixed. Thank you for the new perspective!
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- 5y
@Evelyn4416 Hope it helps :) I find I feel like I have more power if I view it as a something that I have to care for and help instead of a monster in my head
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- 5y
You’ve took so much of me. Mentally, physically and emotionally. I have nothing else to offer, I’ve exhausted every option. I thought I was a solid brick before but you quickly broke me and transitioned me into a soft piece of tissue. You’ve caused me to depend on reassurance to feel better. I would do anything for that reassurance I had to have it. I stepped up, I went to get help to defeat you. You put me at the bottom but I will leave you there. You’ve manipulated me and my mind. But I let you , I let you allow me to live in fear of so many things. You had me convinced I must admit. The what if’s took over. But you’ve humbled me also, you’ve taught me no matter what or who you are we will all face troubles in life, everyone’s trouble is different and you just happen to be mine. But not for long I’ll pray you away and take the steps necessary to get back to my new happiness. ??
- Date posted
- 5y
You confuse me. I don’t understand how to cope with you. You are enigmatic & scary & disheartening. I want you to leave me alone & go about your business. Actually, I want you to leave all of us alone. You genuinely drown me & I let you, but I am tired of you always talking in my ear & trying to make me feel hopeless. You won’t push me around forever. Signed, Tori.
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- 5y
Beautifully said ?
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- 5y
@ bp224 thank you ?
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- 5y
Please leave me and my family alone, I’m so sick of your threats against them. You waste my time, cause me stress, and drain me of all the energy I used to have. Before you, I was fine, I felt in control, but now that you’re here I feel like I’m being stepped on. I just wish you didn’t have the amount of power over me that you do.
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- 5y
The fact that you’re in contact with the way you feel is amazing ❤️
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- 5y
I know there are days where I say to myself “why is this my life and why did this happen to me when I was fine before”, but just know I will get back to a place where I will not even think of you again. No matter the torment, I will continue to rise above and get the help I need because you WILL lose and I will WIN.
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- 5y
Yes you will win! Absolutely with that positive attitude you can defeat anything ??
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- 5y
I forgive you.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
venting cause im tired of this: sorry for yelling it’s for emphasis, HAVE ANY OF MY FREAKOUTS CAUSED BY OCD ACTUALLY HELPED ME?? PROBABLY NOT? (no seriously they havnt this is exposure therapy now I ain’t reassuring myself) HAVE THEY MADE ME SLEEP DEPRIVED? YES HAVE THEY MADE MY HANDS CRACK AND BLEED FOR YEARS? YES (ouch currently can’t even move my hands without them cracking open) HAVE THEY MADE ME TAKE WAY TO MANY SHOWERS TO THE POINT MY HAIR IS LIKE STRAW? YES HAVE THEY MADE ME LOST WITHIN MY SELF AND RUIN RELATIONSHIPS? YES :( HAVE THEY MADE ME AVOID AREAS OF MY NICE HOME? YES (double sucks cause i only moved late last year) legit in the last couple of months i thought i had could have tetanus, insecticide poisoning, mould in my hair and bed, that somehow bleach and alcohol or ammonia got mixed and i made a toxic gas (I don’t even own bleach etc) thrown out towels and clothes and so so much more. just wtf is ocd, why? Why does it do this?? Surely people without ocd are just wondering what they’ll have for lunch or something?? NOT OMG ITS GOT MOULD ITS SPREAD EVERYWHERE. I’m so tired, just want to live life without being terrified all the time. Please join in with what you’re over with when it comes to OCD, it’s good to vent sometimes.
- Date posted
- 24w
Hi everyone, My name is Trevin (24,male,he/him) and I’m new to this app and this is my first post. Here’s how I’m feeling today: OCD frustrates the hell out of me. Mostly when it becomes hard for me to comprehend. A few weeks ago I had convinced myself I have Huntington’s Disease (or will have it in the future). I was reading symptoms that overlap with how I was feeling at that time, and started drawing connections to my life. Some large connections, like my grandma who has parkinson’s, and my psychiatrist augmenting my SSRI with memantine, fixating on “what it means” for me, a young, healthyish individual to be on an “old person” drug. Some longshot connections linked to Huntington’s, like my above average intelligence and large head size. Each symptom I found that “clicked” my OCD made the anxiety ramp up. I shut this down fairly quickly as I could tell it was unrealistic and it felt very clearly that it was OCD. However, on days like today, my OCD is a much more undefeated beast, not dissimilar to a Rancor. Unfortunately I am not a Jedi. Today, my OCD just feels like nothing feels right. I feel like my entire perception of the world is different today. I’m drowning in it. The sky looks different, the coldness against my skin feels more piercing than it normally would. My thoughts just feel like a whirlpool, like I can’t place a finger on a single thought I have. They are moving fast and swirling like a galactic orb or nebula. Everything just feels “off”. And that makes me frustrated and angry. I feel like I have no control of myself. TLDR; I fucking hate this disorder. And I hate its name too. More often than not, I don’t feel like I have an obsession or compulsion. It’s just a feeling or perspective distortion. Maybe a better name for OCD is Control & Doubt Disorder, or Obsessional Uncertainty Disorder. I hate searching OCD online and it simplifying the hell out of it: “Obsessions that lead to compulsions”. Girl, I wish it was that fucking cut and dry and easy to delineate. I still insist to my psychiatrist that I have a different disorder in addition to OCD, because what I feel doesn’t “feel” like OCD. They, of course, insists that this is OCD about OCD. Ugh, frustrated, whatever :P Thanks for reading 🫶🏻
- Date posted
- 22w
I’ve come to a point in my life where I can be very happy. I have a safe environment, a loving community. Yknow I’ve really healed through or moved on from a traumatic past and as I say to my boyfriend from time to time like a broken record: I feel like nowadays the only thing bringing me stress or at times misery is myself. I am a fairly joyful person, when I’m comfortable I’m very goofy and like to sing dance and have fun. I find that I relate to so many amazing people I meet that are the nicest, most fun, elevating individuals, who also struggle with the hardest sometime debilitating things. It truly sucks because when I find those moments of peace I see the power of what an ocd mind could be as a person. We are people who may over analyze, but I myself also always find the good in people. And aye if in a moment I don’t think anything is doomly wrong and if I don’t try to understand it I may parish 😅 then that moment feels like the best one in the world. But on the other side of that when I’m not in a quiet mind moment and I’m left with myself to take control of what life in front of me looks like in or around me. I almost have been crumbling. Like I said at the beginning of this story here, the life around me is not so situationally stressful. And it’s also fairly simple. My boyfriend and I live together in a small cozy trailer with our two cats, he works full time very hard and I work part time where I spend as much time as I can working and then have a few days around the house. We’re saving for a home and are quite content with our lifestyle at the moment with work and being “lazy”, or resting and going out for fun now an then on our time off together. Most times though I do have day or two off during the week by myself, which usually goes one of only two ways. Like I said before I do like to work hard, especially now that I have a part time job that’s fairly easier than others I’ve had in the past. So I work 6-7 hours then drive home, air up my tires and wash my car sometimes because I like doing something after work while I still have energy.Or I go to the store. Come home make food, prolly nap and not really worry about too much because I’ve worked all day. But on my days off. I find myself waking up with a lot of anxiety. I usually fight it off by going back to sleep. But my OCD is heavily circled around shame. Even though I only sleep in till 10-11, 12-1 at the latest. I find myself thinking about how wrong (in nice terms) it is to do that. And the funny thing is the older I get (I’m a 21F). I’m not as pressured by this thought, even though it’s still stressful it literally just feels like a thought I can’t escape from. To put things in simple terms. I truly psycho analyze my actions breath by breath and my intrusive thoughts are critiquing those actions bit by bit. I’ve recently have started medication and it was a tremendous difference in the beginning and it helped me cope with the acceptance and letting go (f it or just care less) of those thoughts. But let’s say I forget to take it, or I wake up one morning by myself all day and I’m super tired or unmotivated. That day will feel truly debilitated. And now I’m definitely to the point where I’m battling that, but also have a thin vale behind that where I now know what is going on. And the thoughts are shameful for “not trying to get better or be better” Because I do Like I write a lot, and it truly is one of the best coping mechanisms for working through intrusive or obsessive compulsions. I could also write all day, and if I don’t listen to that ease of the anxiety from writing. And try to keep going the writing will turn into a compulsion itself I feel like I should not stop or critique it as well. But luckily I’ll hopefully find my place in explaining the cycle of what I do when my brain is very loud about things. The next time it’s too loud:)
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