- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I relate to this sooooo much. Based on my conversations with my therapist, I’m deferring to CDC recommendations. BUT the key is to not go above and beyond (i.e. not taking “wash for 20 seconds” to mean “wash four times in a row for a minute each time”). Totally understand that it’s a tough balancing act, but having good (reasonable, medically directed) hand hygiene is a good idea at a time like this. You’re definitely not alone. I feel like I’m living in one, six-week long ERP exercise right now.
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes. This. But the guilt is starting to get to me. My ability to self evaluate is totally shot, between the ERP treatment that lessened the contamination OCD down to nearly nothing and the American tendency to be required to work when sick. I don’t trust my brain anymore to tell me anything true regarding illness, and the additional confusion of jobs that would have penalized me for NOT coming into work sick, now expecting me to stay home (but still penalizing next) makes me just want to stay in this bed and not come out until it’s over. And since the CDC recommended that vulnerable populations try to avoid going out, and I live with members of that population, that might not even be unreasonable! What a mess. Also, every time I see that handwashing recommendation I just want to up it to 40 seconds. Let’s kill off norovirus while we’re at it
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi Ceej! I can understand how you feel that way. If it were me, I would continue with the treatment. The odds of this virus becoming a major issue in the U.S. seems really low. I’m assuming that your therapist isn’t having you avoid basic hygiene practices like good hand washing? If there starts to be an indication that constant hand sanitizer or masks are needed, then I think that would be appropriate for you to take part in but not at this point
- Date posted
- 5y
The problem is the stuff I was supposed to stop doing (avoiding touching doorknobs, using hand sanitizer, not washing my hands so frequently) are now exactly what I’m supposed to be doing by the CDCs guidelines. So it’s a conflicting situation where I’ve trained my brain to not do these things, now the CDC is saying do them, and I have loads of guilt because I WAS doing these things and STOPPED. Ugh. So frustrating.
- Date posted
- 5y
Oof yeah. It's like having an eating disorder when you're overweight. Everything and everyone encourages you to do behaviours which trigger ED compulsions or which are actually part of it. It makes me seriously angry.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
back in october i made my first post about my specific type of ocd, how it mixes in with my day to day and how i “deal” with it. i talked about the starting point, how it gradually got worse, and then how it was going just a few months ago. i always think it’s insane how much can change in just the course of a small to a large amount of time. right now, i honestly feel like garbage. to be quite sincere i really want to give up, i’m barely holding on by a thread. and if i cut that thread, i really doubt anyone would care. i’ve never considered myself to be a suicidal person, and i still don’t consider myself that right now. it just gets to a point where it’s just, a lot to deal with. i don’t really enjoy things a lot nowadays. sure i have good days like everyone does, like today, when i was just enjoying my day without worries. but then it all comes crawling back twice as bad the following days. i take online college so i’m usually just stuck at home most of the time. but, when i do decide to actually go out and leave my house, my ocd just explodes because i have this whole routine i need to do or else i feel like i’ll contaminate wherever i end up going. i’m not going to go really deep into my compulsions because it’s hard enough to live with them, much more having to type them all out in detail. but when i go out my compulsions go from wiping down all my stuff i’m going to use after showering, to washing my clothes/cleaning the washer + dryer. i also have separate things (or two of the same thing) i use specifically in my house, and items i use when going out. such as shampoo/body wash, deodorant, lotion, hair curler, etc. as if that’s not draining enough, i also feel the need to fast a couple days prior to any plan i make because i’ve forced myself to believe i need to feel empty in order to be clean. i’m not sure if that’s my past eating disorder talking, or my ocd, but my brain can’t help but think any food in my house is utterly and completely contaminated. i’m so tired of this feeling, feeling like nothing will ever be clean again. feeling like my ocd is trapped in my childhood home. feeling that wave of diseases rushing through my veins the moment i step foot into what’s supposed to be “home”. and i’m so scared of therapy because what if i do get healed, and then everything comes rushing back the second i step into my room. i’m planning on moving somewhere far from my current house in this next coming year, so sometimes i feel like just waiting it out. but it’s insufferable when going to hangout with someone. i miss my friends, my family, and my partner. it’s crazy to me that i’m dealing with all this at the young age of 18 but, i’m sure lots of people have it way worse. i just want to find a way out, any possible way. but i keep pushing myself deeper and deeper that when i finally find a way, it will no longer exist.
- Date posted
- 22w
I started dealing with OCD when I became fixated on health issues, particularly the fear of contracting a life-threatening disease. If I experienced any kind of medical symptom, no matter how small, that even remotely hinted at something potentially fatal, it would drive me crazy, and I couldn’t stop obsessing over it. Then one day, I started having intrusive thoughts about accidentally hitting someone with my car, and I would end up driving in circles to check if I had. Eventually, I found myself overwhelmed by a flood of new obsessive thoughts and compulsions. One day, while I was at the park, a squirrel came near me, and for some reason, I felt like it attacked me. I Googled it and learned that squirrels could carry rabies, which spiraled me into a deep fear of rabies. I became consumed with the thought I received a bite from a squirrel, raccoon, or bat any time I’m in areas that trigger me. It started off only being inside then transferred to even being in my own home. This made me obsess over every physical sensation in my body, compulsively checking to make sure nothing was wrong. One compulsion that I hated the most would to be putting rubbing alcohol on me to make sure that I had no open wounds. Every day feels like I’m walking around in a fog of anxiety, constantly worrying that I won’t even make it to old age. Sometimes, it gets so overwhelming that I just want it all to end. It stresses me so bad at times to where my brain feels like I’ve been studying all day.
- Date posted
- 19w
Im having a OCD specifically contamination OCD flare up all month and I don’t want to feel this way going into March, I’ve thrown out clothes, towels, stayed up for hours doing compulsions, washed my hands till they crack and bleed, I have washing pilling up cause I’m so overwhelmed by all the extra things I’ve added cause I thought it was contaminated. It’s completely draining me to the point where I’ve become sleep deprived and are avoiding part of my home because they are deemed contaminated to me…I only moved in a few months ago, I had a roach problem and using baits and insecticides really messed with my ocd too. anyone have any tips or tricks to make this easier? I wasn’t doing this bad in January :( thankyou in advance :)
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