Ceej
- Date posted
- 5y
sara235sara235
- Date posted
- 5y
I relate to this sooooo much. Based on my conversations with my therapist, I’m deferring to CDC recommendations. BUT the key is to not go above and beyond (i.e. not taking “wash for 20 seconds” to mean “wash four times in a row for a minute each time”). Totally understand that it’s a tough balancing act, but having good (reasonable, medically directed) hand hygiene is a good idea at a time like this. You’re definitely not alone. I feel like I’m living in one, six-week long ERP exercise right now.
CeejCeej
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes. This. But the guilt is starting to get to me. My ability to self evaluate is totally shot, between the ERP treatment that lessened the contamination OCD down to nearly nothing and the American tendency to be required to work when sick. I don’t trust my brain anymore to tell me anything true regarding illness, and the additional confusion of jobs that would have penalized me for NOT coming into work sick, now expecting me to stay home (but still penalizing next) makes me just want to stay in this bed and not come out until it’s over. And since the CDC recommended that vulnerable populations try to avoid going out, and I live with members of that population, that might not even be unreasonable! What a mess. Also, every time I see that handwashing recommendation I just want to up it to 40 seconds. Let’s kill off norovirus while we’re at it
Sunrise22Sunrise22
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi Ceej! I can understand how you feel that way. If it were me, I would continue with the treatment. The odds of this virus becoming a major issue in the U.S. seems really low. I’m assuming that your therapist isn’t having you avoid basic hygiene practices like good hand washing? If there starts to be an indication that constant hand sanitizer or masks are needed, then I think that would be appropriate for you to take part in but not at this point
CeejCeej
- Date posted
- 5y
The problem is the stuff I was supposed to stop doing (avoiding touching doorknobs, using hand sanitizer, not washing my hands so frequently) are now exactly what I’m supposed to be doing by the CDCs guidelines. So it’s a conflicting situation where I’ve trained my brain to not do these things, now the CDC is saying do them, and I have loads of guilt because I WAS doing these things and STOPPED. Ugh. So frustrating.
FathomableFathomable
- Date posted
- 5y
Oof yeah. It's like having an eating disorder when you're overweight. Everything and everyone encourages you to do behaviours which trigger ED compulsions or which are actually part of it. It makes me seriously angry.
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learningtore...
- Date posted
- 24w
How do I get out of a Flare Up
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- Date posted
- 24w
Feeling hopeful (kinda)
Not super ocd related but I will be staying at a treatment center for mental health soon and I'm looking forward to nit being stuck at home where I have loads of ocd triggers. I know avoidance isn't the best and honestly leaving home for a month or two might make it harder to deal with when I come back but honestly I need a break, I feel trapped here and my mum hates dealing with me and my shitty brain so it's best for all of us if I go away for a bit. Am I the only one who's contamination ocd is worse at home because I hold more value over my room? Like everywhere in the house and even parts of my room are infected but the clean parts need to stay clean but if I'm in public on a random chair I don't care because it's not my chair
BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 20w
Life kinda just sucks right now 18+ only
Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.
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