So I have Ms(an autoimmune disease) and I’m only 15. I was reading this thing about the corona virus and it said more people are likely to die with a weak immune system or a autoimmune disease. And I bawled. I don’t want to die, I’m so young and this is one of my worst fears. I have a friend who’s 18 with Ms too but she’s not as anxious about it. Despite it being in our state. Today in my health class we were learning about a different type of medical job that I really like, I thought to myself that I want to do that and I just had the thought that said “you won’t be alive to do it.” Or if I tell my mom or grama I love you it’ll be like “these are the last few times you’ll say that to them.” And it’s freaking me out. I have no idea what’s gonna happen to me but I’m so scared I’m going to die. Also I’m moving soon and the thoughts are like “you won’t be in your new house for long.” I just need someone to tell me that this will all be okay. I’m not expecting it to end but I just want someone to cry to rn. My mom is understanding but Ik she’s tired of hearing about me being worried about this. And my friend, I can’t bother her about this bc she has college and work to worry about. And my close friends, they don’t know I have ocd. So it’d be complicated to try to confide in. I tried to call the mental health hotline and of course they’re closed. I tried praying but all it does is make me feel less safe and THERE IS NO WAY OUT OF THIS. IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL AND THERE IS NONE. ITS NO WAY OUT and I feel hopeless and scared

OCD Overcomer

Date posted: 5y

One of my favorite techniques when I’m distressed is 5-4-3-2-1. I name 5 things I see, 4 things I hear, etc. Just use each of your senses. It is a great way to be mindful about the things around you in this moment.

Fathomable

Date posted: 5y

So you know that it's OCD and you know that nobody can guarantee you that you'll be fine. OCD always makes you believe that certain doom is on the horizon with no escape. The level of fear and distress you are experiencing right now is 1% real problem and 99% OCD. Yes underneath the OCD there is an unknowable possibility of bad things happening. Life is like that, for everyone, all the time. Risk is a part of life. It sounds like this is a persistent current obsession for you, and that while reassurance may have helped you to feel a little better at the time, it hasn't lasted. I know you crave reassurance now too, but it would have the same result. You have two separate problems here. One is the OCD and one is this uncertainty in life. If you work on the OCD by sitting meditatively with your anxiety without ruminating, researching, calculating and reassurance seeking, you can lessen the OCD and begin to access the same levels of calm and rational thought and feeling as your 18 year old friend has. See that she's not panicking? That's not because she is ignorant or stupid or has less to fear. It's because she doesn't have OCD. Try to trust me. It will become much clearer when you feel calmer, and then even clearer once this OCD is beaten. Here is my favourite way to sit with anxiety: mantra meditation. Invent a random 2 syllable word with no meaning and no close relationship to another word, like "fardel" or "enbeft" or something. Repeat it over and over in your mind, breathing deeply, focusing on nothing else but noticing how your body feels. As thoughts cross your mind, let them cross back out again without being hooked in. This isn't thinking-time. When you notice at any point that your mind has wandered away from the word, don't panic or judge yourself or think that you've failed. Just bring your attention back to repeating the word and noticing the sensations in your body. As you are no longer responding to your thoughts, you will have longer and longer periods of no-thoughts. Slowly allow your mind to become still, where it wants to be, like water flowing downhill. If you can do this any time you get a thought which makes you anxious- sitting with the anxiety in your body and doing this meditation until the anxiety has leaked away- you will make amazing progress with coming back to reality and being able to respond to thoughts in ways which aren't clouded by overwhelming emotion.

roses_are_rosé

Date posted: 5y

omg you’re literally my holy grail?? it’s just so hard bc even when you try to cope, the thoughts still protrude and it gets so distracting

Sunrise22

Date posted: 5y

I know you’re young, but you’re obviously intelligent, so I hope you understand why we’re not giving you reassurance that you’re going to be okay. There’s no way to know that and the need for certainty is what creates the obsessive compulsive disorder. Like the posters mentioned above, work on exercises to accept how you’re feeling and realize that the feelings can feel really wrong without actually meaning anything. Our brain can generate feelings and thoughts that the part of us that’s the impartial spectator can observe. Try the above exercises to try to get in touch with your impartial spectator.

Chessmixxd

Date posted: 20w

Cause For Concern

I'm going to try and be coherent because I know that sometimes during these moments I tend to babble in fear. I have a mole on the left side of my chest that I've had since I was a kid. Been there for as long as I remember. And I never paid attention to it; it was just a part of my body. I even felt a little sad considering that I might not have it anymore whenever I get top surgery. Yesterday I went down a rabbit hole and landed on Melanoma. Which, of course, prompted me to look at my mole again. And again. And again. It's large, bigger than my other moles. Always has been, at least to my knowledge. I always thought it was cute whenever it crossed my mind. Now...now I'm just scared... I'm not asking for reassurance. None of us on here are medical experts (unless youre an actual doctor) (also insert OCD joke here). I sent a picture to my doctor, and she said that if it hasnt changed size that's a good sign. But she also suggested a follow-up with a dermatologist. And that's what scares me the most. All of this started yesterday, but I sent the message to my doctor this morning. And ever since then...I havent been okay. I can barely eat, and every time I try to I can barely swallow. I've isolated myself in the guest bedroom of my parents house. I cant move. I cant think straight. And...let's just say my thoughts havent been good. Like I said, I'm not asking for reassurance or medical advice. I just...I need help to not feel like I'm dying. I didnt mention that yesterday, in the midst of going down the rabbit hole, I realized how badly I didnt want to be afraid, and yet I also felt like I needed to be afraid. And I realized that that's what ERP is (at least for me in case it's different for everyone). I really did naivietely think that it was just going to be about avoiding compulsions. I didnt realize that accepting uncertainty would feel like a death sentence. And now this has happened. I just...I'm scared. And I dont want to be. I dont want to live in this reality where I'm sick and dying. I dont want to have to tell my family. I dont want to live in that world, but it feels like I'm already in it. My body is just preparing me for it. I dont know. I dont know why I'm even making this post. No one can help me, can they?

MJOCD2

Date posted: 15w

I literally have the worst death anxiety

My chest is aching from the stress of it all. I haven’t felt this bad in years. Please any words of advice would be most helpful. The fact that I’m going to die one day and I have no idea what’s going to happen next, possibly nothingness, and I lose out on all my memories of everyone I ever loved, everything I ever did, is messing me up. I’m 27, and idk how I never felt this way before. I never had these fears before. I never even thought about death like this before let alone it scaring me. Now it’s just stuck in my mind 24/7. The other thing about death is I have to do it alone! :( I love my mum and brother more than anything, I have to leave them one day. I can’t believe it. And they have to leave me?

BeeCee87

Date posted: 10w

I’m tired of constant fear

I am so incredibly tired of living life in fear. I’m in constant fear that I’m going to have a heart attack or stroke. I’m hyper aware of every sensation in my body and I’m in constant fight or flight. I’m exhausted and I just want to be normal. I received a Covid vaccine Saturday because im afraid of getting Covid but now I’m worried about the vaccine making me sick. I know it won’t I’ve had them before but my mind is just in obsessive mode. I want a good nights rest but now I’m crying and scared because I don’t feel good. I’m just so sick of life being so hard. I want to enjoy it. But then I spiral and I’m crying because I’m worried about being alone in life. Thankfully I have my mom now but I worry about the future. I’ve tried erp twice here and just can’t feel like it’s helping. I’m working with a therapist now and we are doing DBT plus starting erp. I’m nervous it won’t work again. I’m doomed to feel this way the rest of my life. It’s been almost 2 years of this constant fear, worry, and spiral. And when it’s not the health anxiety it’s awful intrusive thoughts that make me feel like a monster.

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