Hey guys looking for some help. I’m so sorry for the long post! Basically I’ve been eating myself alive with guilt and convinced I am a bad person and don’t deserve to be happy ? basically about 5 months ago my ex partner broke up with me. Some stuff had happened in her personal life her mother passed away suddenly and she had also just moved away for a new job - the plan was that I would move in a few months. I’ll be the first to admit prior to theses two events the relationship wasn’t perfect tiffs here and there but nothing major. I thought it was because of the distance to begin with during which time her mother died my partner then came back for a month during this time and understandably was not herself. After a month a bit she had returned to her new home and work. We were keeping up the long distance thing going over phone calls etc but it was hard. She returned for a night out for her bday which I got upset on after some drinks and her acting like she wasn’t really interested in me at all. I had felt like this for a while anyway and was having doubts about moving away. Anyway - about a week later once she had returned we got into an argument over the phone and she said she was sorry she just didn’t feel right anymore about things and was taking it out on me - due to the situation with her mum. She didn’t know how to feel about the relationship and that we would be better off apart - I attempted to salvage things over the phone and was devastated when she said she thought we should end it - she said various things about us not getting on anyway which I thought could be salvaged when I moved to where she was. However she said repeatedly over the phone it’s not going to work and threw in something from over a year ago when I had been drunk and said some things and acted like a dick. Wish I apologised deeply for but I had been upset in general at that time because of some things that she had said or acted when sober. She used this example in why she was breaking up with me. There have been instances where we both drank too much and have said things out of line however I just have this horrible guilt about what has happened each time we were drunk and feel now I don’t deserve to be happy because of my behaviour despite being supportive and willing to move everything for her. I am interested in someone else who I am so excited about and we just click! And I now fully recognise that me and my ex were not meant to be but how the hell do I shift the guilt and allow myself to feel a happy with this other person without thinking about past things said and done? Any help?

18+ I was such a horrible boyfriend. I was friendly and flirty with other girls and I would always justify it by saying that I wasn’t cheating (which I never did). I also got super drunk during a family vacation and I don’t remember anything but I fear i may have kissed someone, even though my family has to me that I didn’t because they were with me 99% of the time. I realize however that it doesn’t take a physical act to hurt your partner. Flirting is just as bad. I don’t know why I was that way. I was always an attention seeking idiot. My guilty conscience led me to develop OCD. Now all I do is obsess over every day of my life trying to figure out if I did anything wrong so I can confess it to my partner. I wonder if I’ll ever be enough for her again. I feel so unworthy of her love. She is hurting so much and I can’t believe I caused her that pain. She tells me to let it go but I feel like she deserves to know who I was. She says she forgives me because I am no longer that person but I can fucking forgive myself. I’ve tried meditating and doing affirmations but it’s been months and I feel like I am tainted forever. I led her to believe that I was someone that I wasn’t. I told her I only had eyes for her but I still found other girls attractive and watched porn behind her back. I don’t know what to do. I don’t eat or sleep or do anything but be in my bed crying. I love her so much and I can’t believe I was such a piece of shit. I want to move forward but I don’t know how to. We’ve been together for over 5 years and I can’t believe I am just now realizing all this. I wonder if it’s too late. I’ve been an atheist for years and I’m even praying out of desperation. I hate myself

Hi everyone, I’ve been struggling lately and been reading up on all the different types of OCD and reading others posts have been comforting to me that I’m not the only one. Here’s what’s been going on lately: My boyfriend and I were together for 5 years consistently. Broke up for 2 years but we’re still on and off but remained single. We are now back together and suddenly I have been obsessing over the things I have done in those 2 years that may have been disrespectful to my boyfriend. My boyfriend forgives me for everything but I can’t stop obsessing over every detail. I am trying/forcing myself to remember every bad thing I’ve done in 2019. And once I think of something I obsess over - why would I do that? What was I thinking back then? We’re those my true feelings 2 years ago? Is that how I feel now? And when I think of something I feel the need to confess to my boyfriend. These thoughts and questions make me have tremendous guilt and feel like I don’t deserve the relationship we have currently. I’m new to all this and have an appointment with a psychologist next week. Any advice until then?

Does anybody have any tips on how to manage deserved guilt and OCD at the same time? I actually carried out some awful actions in my relationship 3 1/2-4 years ago and absolutely deserve to feel guilt and shame. But now my gf says it’s time for me to move on, I’ve punished myself enough, that I deserve to be happy, etc. I disagree and feel like I deserve everything I’m feeling, and will forever. Opinions on the internet have solidified this for me (most people’s opinion about my event online seems to be that I deserve to think about what I did for the rest of my life, that I don’t deserve love, that my gf should leave me, etc.). I’m scared to go against those opinions. Sorry for rambling, I’m just so stuck between trying to move on for my girlfriends sake and rehashing the past every day to try and understand/fix my faults. Any advice would be appreciated.