i’m getting freaked out by myself. Please help. I was wondering if it was wrong to have sex with someone if one person was drunk or tipsy and the other wasn’t but they gave consent. I thought for me at least not anyone else, that if i gave consent when inebriated then it would be okay. But also i see how it’s wrong because why would you want to do anything with someone who is under the influence or not be on the same level as someone when doing these things. A guy i was talking to said he didn’t wanna kiss me once because i was tipsy one night and said no matter what he wouldn’t even touch a girl if she had a drink and i completely understand that, but in my mind if i give consent then that’s okay. Is that wrong though? I don’t like how my automatic response wasn’t the same as his. I don’t want to take advantage of someone or anything ever so i searched it up and people were saying that you can’t give consent when inebriated so now i feel like a terrible person. I feel even worse because when i was thinking of scenarios it felt like i was a little turned on and i feel wrong because what if i felt that way because i enjoyed the thought of taking advantage of someone and but i just don’t want to be the type of person that would do that to someone or think it’s okay. This may be tmi but i imagined giving a guy head and he was drunk but he enjoyed it and it turned me on but now i hate myself because that’s literally wrong. I’ve never even had sex before but i’m still worrying about this. Now i know i for sure wouldn’t engage in anything with someone under the influence but i feel like I don’t even know how i felt about this in the beginning, i feel like my mind automatically jumped to me being the worst. Like is kissing someone when one is drunk and the other isn’t wrong? I just want to avoid doing something wrong or taking advantage of someone at all costs but i’m stressed because what if my way of thinking thinks it’s okay to do those things. Like even if my mind is telling me it’s okay i will avoid and not even go near a drunk guy or try anything but i don’t like that I thought that was okay or that my body responded that way when thinking about it. I hate this. I don’t want this to be me but what if it is. Like why do i feel a sense of arousal or a groinal response when i think about it? is it because it’s of a sexual nature? is it misattribution of arousal? Or am i just actually the worst person on earth? I hope it’s everything but the last, but it seems like that’s the truth. Like this is making me want to refrain from engaging in anything sexual with anyone because i just feel wrong as a person now and that no matter what i’ll be taking advantage of them because of my thoughts.

18+ people with this thread please. I just want some advice from people who have experienced this. Its been almost 2 years since my real event and i can confidently say that i feel a bit better about that and my thoughts. (We still have bad moments but we recover.) but, ever since then and before, i feel nasty and gross whenever i engage or interact with adult content. Like this nasty guilt or feeling like i cant interact with it because then my ocd says “this proves that your thoughts are true and your perverse” and after i always feel empty and disgusting. Besides things like that, i read adult fan fiction sometimes or even write stories for my original characters. And yesterday i shared these stories with a close in person friend of mine. (Were both in college) and they were fine about it we laughed about it but then after i felt guilty-my brain was telling me “you traumatized her she just doesn’t wanna tell you” obliviously this isn’t true but im having a hard time believing it and this morning i woke up with a deep dread that i hurt a friend and im horrible. I can say that they’re more positive about these things then me and i think thats why we got into the conversation and i felt comfortable to share these stories but i just can’t get over it. I have a strong urge to ask for reassurance but i know it wont help. I literally have no one else to talk to about this. Ive spoken to my therapist about this guilt with adult content and we have yet to expand on it especially how it goes hand in hand with my asexuality. My therapist tells me its human to feel things like this and its ok to perform self care like that and again-im a human person its usually normal for 19 year olds to be like this especially for someone my age but i dont feel normal. I feel nasty. Does anyone else feel this way? How did you confront this guilt and how did you feel comfortable again interacting with these feelings and actions again? I dont really have a desire to do s*xual things often (im on the asexual spectrum) but when i do i dont want to feel like this. Especially when my ocd types effect it. Advice is needed and appreciated thank you for your help.

Why are things so real the first time they’re in my mind and then when I think about it later it’s easier for me to be like wtf?? I was watching a movie earlier and the young girl had developed more in the chest area than the last movie and I felt the desire to check her out so I did. Then later I let myself imagine her having sex and I liked it. But now looking back I’m like ew. The boys in the movie have also developed as the movie went on and I couldn’t help but think that in their real life they’ve probably woken up to boners and s*men and stuff. And looking back it’s just ugh. Idk if it’s sexual relevance but I genuinely let myself indulge in these thoughts and groinal responses and I remember thinking to myself I don’t want to be attracted to little kids and how do I stop myself (everyone has attractive qualities so in younger boys I see man like qualities). Idk I need help. I wouldn’t type this out if I truly believe I was messed up but I’m still scared

Basically when I was drunk I was flirting with this guy I usual flirt with he was telling me that nothing could happen because he’s friends with my cousin, so I got really close to him and said oh resllr so you don’t want me, and I can’t remember what he said but I then kissed his like cheek or near his ear to like flirt with him and I’ve convinced myself because he said he couldn’t that basically I’ve harassed him. I left him alone after we’d finished talking but I’m so worried that me sorta going are you sure to him because he kept saying “maybe one day but right now I can’t” and saying “it’s not that I don’t want to” But I’m really scared that I’ve done something wrong. I keep picturing me kissing his cheek and him going like ugh fuck off when I don’t think that happened? I just have the worst anxiety around it right now