- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
i feel like this spiraled into something big overtime because i don’t want to take advantage of someone and i necee have before and i just really don’t want to be a bad person, i really don’t, but i feel like this ain’t normal and that no one else but someone who takes advantage of people thinks this way. This is making me scared of myself, even though i haven’t done anything, i’m scared that i will.
- Date posted
- 5y
and fucking groinal responses make things 10x fucking worse. like why can’t my body react to things fucking normal. why does everything in life have to be so complicated for me. i can’t even do anything or be with the guy i like because now i’m afraid of who i am, i also would feel terrible to have someone be involved with me and not know who i actually am as a person which is fucking terrible. at this point someone literally just kill me cause we really don’t need another disgusting person out in the world.
- Date posted
- 5y
i miss the day’s when everything was normal
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel you...
- Date posted
- 5y
Completely understand
- Date posted
- 5y
My boyfriend and I have both had intercourse while either or is inebriated and afterwards never thought anything of it. Idk, I don't really care. I've never been drunk to the point where I didn't remember anything and as a sober person I can look back and say that I enjoyed being drunk or tipsy during sex and he says the same. If I were single and there was an opportunity to hook up with someone inebriated I would not, because I don't know them and I could potentially be taking advantage of them.
- Date posted
- 5y
yeah but now i feel stuck on the thought that i want to like give him head when he’s drunk cause i feel like he’d enjoy it more but even just saying that sounds wrong and weird you know. and i feel like i’m trying to justify it in my mind but the more i do the worse it’s making me seem. Like when i think that i don’t mean it in a way that’s doing something to him that he doesn’t want, and i don’t even know if that’s actually something i want to do but my mind has fixated on it to the point where i think it is. And i just feel wrong because why is it a thought of mine of wanting to do something to someone while they’re drunk, and why am i trying to figure out ways in my mind to make it seem okay. Like even though especially now that i’m aware of it being wrong i wouldn’t do it, it doesn’t sit right with me that it’s something that i may want to do or think is okay, and i’ll feel wrong ever doing anything with him because he wouldn’t know that i wanted to do something or i imagined doing something with him that would be considered taking advantage. I’m trying to move past this and not think about it but it just doesn’t sit right with me that i view this as okay.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh
- Date posted
- 23w
**TMI Warning: This post is very personal and might be uncomfortable for some.** I’m feeling panicked and need to get this out. I have intrusive thoughts that make me question my morals, especially about consent. I have a CNC preference (consent to non-consent), but I feel so conflicted because I know how horrifying and heartbreaking real non-consensual acts are. The thought of anyone suffering in that way is so awful, yet I get thoughts that feel like I’m justifying the real thing—the immoral thing. Sometimes, I feel like I have to focus hard just to truly condemn it, and that terrifies me. It’s hard to separate these thoughts from who I am, and I’m scared it means something terrible about me. I feel so much shame for having a CNC preference. I know it’s rooted in consent, but I feel like I’ve never had certainty that I fully condemn the real thing. I’m scared that deep down, I might think it’s all the same.
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- Date posted
- 12w
I don’t know if my hormones are extra wild this month or what, but I have been having so many POCD thoughts lately. It feels like I enjoy them in the moment, and then a few seconds later, I get this tiny flicker of *wait I don’t think I actually want to enjoy that.* It’s scaring me a lot. I was watching adult videos for the first time in about a year, since I had been avoiding them because of my OCD. I know they are not good for anyone, but I felt like i could (ironically it felt like a tiny win that my OCD had calmed down enough). But while watching, I had like 3 separate POCD thoughts. And it felt like I liked them. Like genuinely *liked* them. I don’t know if maybe my body was mixing up physical pleasure and mental pleasure, and then my brain inserted those not okay thoughts into the situation, which got tangled up with the pleasure responses I felt mentally and physically. It is all really confusing. I just feel so scared. I know OCD thoughts are supposed to feel real, and that once you get desensitized to the anxiety, they lose their power. But this feels like I am *actually enjoying* the thoughts, and that makes me want to cry. I’m scared that I actually like these thoughts when I’m really aroused :( Please help.
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