Does any one feel that the general things people go through because of ocd doesn't necessarily apply to you? Yet you have been diagnosed by multiple therapists as an ocd patient. The things i listed down mostly applies to people with high brain control or a high level of personal strictness i do not mean to sound condescending at all just trying to seek help. So here are some points that are confusing me let me know if anyone can relate. 1. People have anxiety with thoughts but for me i can easily control my anxiety level its entirely up to me to feel 10/10 or 1/10 anxiety. It won't make the thought go away or anything its just i would be feeling different with different levels. High anxiety may cause extreme shivering and want me to hide myself from the world, while low anxiety feels like I'm claiming yes this is my ocd thought/compulsion so what no ones opinion on me matters. 2. Ocd patients have difficulty talking related to their obsessions, have difficulty doing certain actions, extreme fear of triggers while it makes no difference to me whether i interact with them or not. Its not like anything changes by experimenting with these behaviours so whats the fear about.... 3. Getting reassurance can be that i am not a bad person or anything else, again i felt like ocd doesn't change who you are so i know what i am even your opinion doesn't matter ocd. 4. Though i had issues dealing with guilt in the beginning as my compulsion goes against my religious beliefs but when i learned about the leniency for patients in religion i have no guilt for these obsession/compulsion. 5. Paying attention to thoughts this thing has never had any meaning to me as a person who constantly tries to change himself for better i haven't been able to do so ever since the thoughts started paying attention or not does anything really changes? Besides these i had a really hard time adjusting to medication took me 8 months just to get a suitable SSRI but these medications just limit my compulsions while deactivating certain parts of my brain and sets my stamina to ZERO. Not talking medication increases my compulsions but gets me on normal brain levels and regular stamina. Now I'm not questioning the abilities of my therapists but it feels a waste of time and money. Felt no improvement over a year all i do is adjust myself to feel different which i have been doing before therapy. Contribution of therapy in my life feels null. Can anyone advise me where to move forward from or what is the forward for people like me?

Hey everyone. This is my first post here and it’s probably going to be a long one because I guess I feel comfortable enough to be open here. I need help. When I first got diagnosed with OCD, I figured it only impacted a small part of my life. I thought I was only affected with compulsions and obsessions that dealt with contamination, tangible perfectionism and the obvious intrusive thoughts and that’s it. Well, I’ve come to realize that most of my thinking has been impacted by OCD. At this point the only way to describe how it feels to me is a forest of thorny vines growing in place of my mind or maybe through and around my brain constantly growing every-time I give into this type of thinking (which is basically all the time because I wasn’t aware this was OCD). I’ve definitely felt it more recently, but I know it’s always been there from what I recall from past memories. I got diagnosed not so long ago with OCD and I was happy to because it explained this thing I knew was wrong with me but I didn’t know how much it will and has impacted me in the past. So, I think I’ve created a matrix in my mind or strengthened the OCD thought patterns because now I feel like my OCD impacts everything I do. And I guess I’m saying I need help here because maybe you guys will be able to see it, maybe validate me and point me where I can get help. I’ve been telling the people around me, I think my thinking is disordered and I need help but I don’t think they really understand the amount it’s affecting me or grasp what I meant when I say “I Need Help”. I did have a therapist before but because of a insurance change, she can’t work with me anymore and I’m not sure when I’ll get another (just to clarify). Back to the matter, the past couple of months I’ve been in my head just thinking and thinking. About everything. To the point where my head starts to hurt or until I feel sick of thinking about it but I can’t. I find that’s my obsessions and compulsions (other than the need for order [which can also be mental]) are very mentally based and I find myself ashamed of them so I hide them so maybe that’s why the people around me don’t feel my need for getting help as much as I do. Anyways, examples of this have been, -constantly thinking about what’s the purpose of all of life and the hidden messages in life -feeling like if I don’t do everything perfectly then what the point or being very mad at myself -being obsessed with how I present to the rest of the world sometimes even in close relationships -having calculated movements and actions (having to move my body a certain way or it doesn’t feel right) -obsessing over an absolute truth -questioning friendships and other relationships - obsessing over achievements or failures -obsessing over people -obsessing over decisions and outcomes because I want to make the perfect decisions I could go on and on but basically it’s just a lot of thinking and ruminating and obsessing to the point where people tell me I look like I’m some where else all the time. And I’ve started to feel like I find comfort in it now. I’m also diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I feel like it’s all just OCD. And same goes for my dissociation. I feel like they all root from my OCD. I’m so tired of feeling like this all the time and without my therapist I feel like I’m stuck here. I can’t make decisions, I’m never present, I can’t make or keep friendships/ relationships, everything impacts me deeply because I create a emotional obsession to it, I can’t just be without questioning everything and I’m constantly in my head. I’ve also started getting high all the time because I feel like it’s the only way to escape my brain but I’ve felt like it’s getting out of hand. I’m starting to lose in any type of hope of getting better. Does anyone have an advice for working on OCD by yourself or identifying when it’s OCD (especially mental obsessions and compulsions) so I can start to chip at this boulder that’s weighing down my life and energy?

For most of my adult life I was told by professionals that I suffered from general anxiety disorder. But most recently after switching psychiatrists, I was diagnosed with OCD, which is the cause of my severe anxiety. And now everything makes sense. Some things I didn’t realize was actually my OCD: - Immense fear that i’ve forgotten something I do instinctively every day. Locking the door, flushing the toilet, turning off the heater, etc. I can not recall a time i have ever forgotten to do these things, but I have so much anxiety that something bad will happen because i’ve forgotten to do them that I will drive all the way back home or to work to check and make sure they’ve been done. It got so bad that I would drive to my office at 10 pm at night because i had the sudden realization in bed that i couldn’t remember if I locked the door. I now have to take a picture of the locked door every time i leave so I can reference it for later and assure myself its been done. - Obsessing over what people think of how i dress, act, talk, etc to the point that I can’t communicate properly because Im trying to think of the correct thing say or how the other person is perceiving me in that moment. It makes social situations exhausting and fills me with dread whenever i have to talk to any one new. I just want to be liked, to have friends, but because of this anxiety Ive found that being alone is the least stress inducing, so I usually don’t talk to people besides family if I don’t have to. - Goes with the above, but constant thoughts that if im not liked by others, i am horrible person. Its all or nothing, either everyone likes me or im worthless. It makes every interaction insanely stressful and i obsess over every word i said for hours after I get home. - Texting is a nightmare. Writing, re-writing, and RE-WRITING texts to make sure they sound okay. Then asking my fiance to read them himself to make sure they sound okay to an outside person before sending them. And then the immense fear after sending them that what I’ve said is going to be taken the wrong way and waiting on the edge of my seat to see if/how they’ll respond. And im not talking about serious conversations, this is just simple back and forth. - Sending long paragraphs with as many details as possible to try and avoid the above. When probably just an “okay” would’ve sufficed. - I work in marketing/graphics, and all my coworkers know I’m obsessed with symmetry and even spacing. Everything needs to feel balanced, or its completely wrong. I refuse to send out anything im not 100% happy with, and ill spend extra time adjusting spacing and sizing by less than a 5% difference over and over again until im satisfied. Ive had coworkers ask what i’ve changed because its so minuscule to them. But in my eyes anything that isn’t spaced evenly or lined up correctly is glaring and unacceptable. - Being consistently late to things because my compulsions and obsessions take my mind away from time management. Im just considered the person that can never arrive on time. Its a running joke in my family at this point, but it still makes me feel bad. My parents always instilled the need to be punctual so you’re not wasting other peoples time, but my brain can’t make it happen no matter how hard i try. These are just a few of the things that I’ve come to realize are attributed to OCD. I honestly thought for a while that this was just simple anxiety and that everyone felt this way, especially because my mother deals with similar issues. Has anyone else dealt with similar issues? Im on anti-anxiety medication currently, and it seems to help most days. I’m interested in learning more about others experiences and if any one has come up with coping mechanisms that help them work through their symptoms. p.s. apologies for the long post lol

Hi, I don't really know where to start but I was diagnosed with OCD around 2 years old so it's something I've been aware of my entire life and something I've been struggling to manage for as long as I can remember. I've never received OCD therapy but I had started going to an art therapist after a su*cide attempt for about 2 months in my teen years. When I was younger my parents didn't want me on medications or going through therapy as they felt it was "too intense" of a treatment for me, so I had tried many herbal and homeopathic supplements to help treat my OCD, though it helped with my vitamin deficiencies it didn't do much for my OCD. During my late teens, my primary doctor finally decided to start me on medications for my anxiety, depression, and OCD. I have been on Zoloft, Prozac, Wellbutrin, had been prescribed emergency Lorazepam and Xanax, and recently tried Paxil, but I just don't feel like any have helped. Over the years, I've basically struggled with every typical OCD symptom and it has only gotten harder and harder to get by. When I talk to my friends about it they tell me that these thoughts are normal and everyone goes through it but I feel like they're dismissing the degree to which my symptoms are becoming rather debilitating and don't really understand what I'm trying to since none of them have OCD themselves. I just feel so alone and that nobody understand, I'm tired of having these thoughts and I just want a way out. Does anyone have any tips for like medications or treatments that help? I just want to be normal.