Help! :( I'm freaking out. So I probably do have an eating disorder (not diagnosed), I have been stuck in binge eating (without purging) cycle for a couple of months now, before that I was purging/throwing up . Anyway I just now I threw up pizza I binged on, and I didnt SEE any blood unless it was blood but I thought it was pizza sauce.. But after I was done I tasted a metallic bloody taste. I didnt strain very hard, it wasnt painful but I'm scared I've cut something open and now I'll internally bleed to death or something. I'm freaking out :( I drank water and most of the taste went. Idk :( I'm scared :(

I really agree, my approach with reassurance is that worrying and hearing a reassuring response once is fine- anybody without OCD can get a concern and want an answer, especially about your body. I'd even say that seeing a doctor to be sure can be fine so long as it's only in circumstances with genuine ambiguity. It's when it turns into an obsession with what ifs instead of accepting that the fear is highly improbable (after seeing a doctor or reading logic like yours that a little taste of blood is not a good indicator of massive bleeding) that reassurance needs to be avoided.

@Scoggy I agree! When it regards to a health concern, there’s never too much reassurance

I’m glad you’re feeling better. If you need any more advice or relief let me know! I also suffer from an eating disorder so I totally understand what you’re going through. I believe in you!

@emmaann Thankyou ❤ I'm not diagnosed but if I could guess, it's probably EDNOS because I have periods of just uncontrollable binge eating (like literally everday) and then I have restriction phases to undo the damage, and sometimes they both interwine and then when I just cant take it/or take life for that matter, I have purging phases. :( idk. Purging I hate the most because it always makes me feel disgusting. As much as I hate my body, I dont want to die from an eating disorder that's for sure.

@MJocd I’m not diagnosed either... my doctor just said I could be developing one. It’s gotten really bad this last month, and I do similar things as you. I mainly think that the food I eat is way to much (even tho it’s really not enough food) and I’ll restrict or purge. It’s so relieving knowing I’m not alone. But I hope you get better!

@emmaann You're not alone ❤ hope it gets better soon for you aswell x

@MJocd I'm EDNOS in basically the same way, I've gone through periods of everything. Lots of stuff in common between you and I, it's really weird. I actually see a lot of similarities now between OCD and EDs than I saw when I first developed my ED. I thought that because I wanted to lose weight and be thin, it meant I was doing it all on purpose for attention or for my goal, like I wouldn't even count as having a "real" one. I couldn't recognise that constant thoughts about your weight and food are intrusive even if you engage with them, that refusing food when you're upset to punish people and other things that harm yourself are a sign of pathology, or that planning out weight loss over and over again and checking other people's bodies and looking up stuff about weight and EDs constantly were compulsions and signs of a real disorder, etc. I got to a point where I was clearly underweight once at a Halloween party (age 14 and tall wearing a shirt aged 10-11) and still envious of everyone I thought was thinner, paranoid that people thought I was fat, I was in the bathroom there, weighed myself, felt spacey, and finally had the thought that if I keep going, I'm going to die. Like an actual concern that regardless of part of me wanting the attention and control and people to notice that the rest of my life wasn't good, I didn't want to do permanent damage in the meantime. I'm actually really glad that it hasn't taken you getting to that point to acknowledge that you don't actually want to die, and that eating disorders can be dangerous. I knew a girl who had to have emergency surgery because she swallowed a toothbrush ???‍♀️ try to pull back on all of it. I know it feels like something to cling onto to keep something on track which nobody can take away from you. And you should enjoy having that ownership of your own body and choices. But you don't need to use it to punish yourself compulsively. I know some people who want to stay healthy go for orthorexia, some people become vegan etc or have elaborate rules about what they will and won't eat, it's all shades of the same thing. Binge eating can definitely be approached as a compulsion, so is purging, it's like magical thinking OCD of doing thoughts to try to cancel out the fear.

@Scoggy There are a lot of things in common with us aren't they?! How strange. Omg I read about the girl who swallowed her toothbrush on an ED website, that was a crazy story. I've deffo punished Myself through my ED, which probably is linked to OCD. I appreciate the words of advice, sorry you've dealt with all this too. I'm kind of freaked out at all the similarities cant lie lol! But I feel better knowing I'm not alone and not completely crazy haha !

@MJocd Haha was it on whyeat? I met that girl in person in London, she was Dutch I think, shy but absolute nutter (in a sweet way). Yeah it's actually super interesting to find someone out there with such a similar background, it makes me think that if you put any child in a certain environment, you can screw them up in the same ways. I think I'm gonna do more research into OCD type models of EDs, it could potentially help a few of us. Although it's a weird one because as much as an ED sucks, it generally has to get pretty awful and damage your life a lot before you actually want to get rid of it, whereas OCD can just be a living nightmare you'd do anything to get rid of.

Yes I have, I dont know why you ask though x

@MJocd If you gonna panic don’t read the rest.. Well if there was blood in your pee then that means you may be bleeding internally. Idk about the vomit part. It was most likely pizza sauce but just in case wait for a day or two and if you start to feel dizzy or numb book a doctor appointment.

And I mean quite heavy bleeding too, not a few streaks. Even if you got a cut in your esophagus which was as bad as cutting your finger with a knife, which would cause a LOT of bright red fresh blood, people don't bleed to death from either of those things.