I got the intrusive thought "What if you unknowingly ran into your kitchen, pumped soap in your hands & rubbed it on your TV". My compulsions now are trying to figure out if I did that, looking for potential soap rubbed on the TV. How would you apply ERP to this scenerio? I'm confused about how it works to break the cycle.

i would like some advice please and i didn't get any responses 😭.. apologies for reposting but just need some thoughts on this 🥲 //// after frustrations with erp not working, i intentionally brought up the intrusive mental images as well as sensations during an exposure in trying to practice desensitizing myself to them. but now im scared that me purposefully bringing on the images and especially the disturbing outward sensations means that i did something bad or acted on my thought since i took the action to purposefully create and bring the disturbing intrusive images and thoughts and feelings. now it feels like not just a fear but reality. and my anxiety levels are just too much. i'm just feeling terrible and would like some thoughts or support

I have contamination OCD that causes me to excessively wash my hands/clean items with disinfectant wipes. I know I just need to start with small exposures but how do I do that without spiraling? I tried a while back by just touching the outside of my dishwasher and not washing my hands after and it led to me being unable to even exist in my house. I basically lived on my couch for three weeks as it was the only 'safe' space that I had not touched with my dirty hands. I had to take a week off work to clean my house to make it somewhat liveable. I still haven't got round to cleaning everything though so things like my kitchen are still no-go zones that I don't enter. I just don't know how to start ERP without it making everything worse. Any advice would be appreciated. I am not seeing a therapist at the moment due to financial constraints.

Does anyone else struggle with this? It's been the main thing powering my POCD, and it's only been getting worse. Especially when I see posts online of people sharing their personal stories relating to CSA, specifically grooming. It's so triggering now, but before this theme developed, the most I'd feel while reading posts like that would be disgust targeted towards people who did those things. Now, my first thought is, "What if I do something like that one day? What if I've done it before and I don't remember or didn't know I was doing it?" I have many, many different intrusive thoughts or worries related to this theme, but it all circles back to this specific fear that I'll become like the people who hurt and took advantage of me. Does anyone have advice for this? I'm not sure if I've asked a similar question in the past or not, but is this something I need to deal with separately before beginning ERP for OCD? I'm just curious and also lost on where to begin with all of this. I'm just glad I'm able to begin working through all of these issues now, rather than later in life when I'd probably have a lot more responsibilities. Anyways, any feedback is appreciated! 🤍