- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I have had the same thoughts and fears, wondering if I'm a cheater for being very open and talkative You're asking for reassurance here however and this won't help you get better in your OCD journey. I suggest you do ERP, expose yourself to the fear of being a cheater, flirting etc, until eventually your brain realizes this isn't something that will kill you and the anxiety will drop. You can have no real answers from yourself when you're anxious anyway, so prioritize the exposure, is my honest opinion. I've been exactly where you are and still get some thoughts that I'm bad for having male friends and that it's immoral, I know what you're going through.
- Date posted
- 5y
So sorry went through this, I know how much it sucks.. & Yeah you’re right, like I said, I feel like hanging out with them is a good exposure since my fear is losing control while I’m there and doing something stupid.. I wish I can just stay in my room for days on end and avoid everything but that’s no good
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kea You won't leave your life behind for the OCD, you deserve to live your life! Keep on doing the hard work and it gets better, gradually and slowly, but it does. Sending my good wishes to you
- Date posted
- 5y
@little rabbit Same for you, goodluck!
- Date posted
- 5y
If your boyfriend knows and is okay with it, then it’s definitely not wrong! It’s okay to have guy friends. It’s also normal to have intrusive thoughts like you said, and I know they seem so horrible but that’s all ocd is. Now if you feel that you are putting yourself in a situation where cheating could happen, then I’d recommend not hanging around them! As long as it’s just friendly, I see no harm.
- Date posted
- 5y
I have thoughts like this every single day and it’s debilitating. All we can really do is what we feel is best at the moment. I think a lot of things we consider “right” or “wrong” is just a matter of opinion.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
- Date posted
- 11w
Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth
- Date posted
- 4w
Hey guys, I’m reaching out in a pretty weak spot of desperation. I feel so insane and so sick of my mind recently, I’m completely drained from my mind. I’ve had such bad spikes of RCOD in my relationship of 1.5 years , which kills me because I truly want nothing more than to just be his peace and for us to work out. I love him more than anything and I would do anything for him. I feel like the pressure I placed on making sure I was “perfect” was so counter productive becuase instead I find myself doing everything wrong. I tell myself not to think of the wrong thing, then I think of the wrong thing, then I feel so guilty, and it plagues my mind for days. I feel so guilty it makes me feel detached and like I’m a bad girlfriend. I feel so bad for always burdening him with my anxieties and my “wrong thoughts” becuase he doesn’t deserve it, he’s so amazing. Recently, I began overthinking if I “love him” which I KNOW is so silly because when I’m calm, I laugh that I even got so worried , but when my anxiety creeps in, it feels so debilitating. I spiral and then try to prove to myself that I do love him , which then makes things in that moment feel “forced” because I’m acting out of intent to win the battle in my head. My RCOD has been a persistent issue, but this particular theme is pretty new and I hate it. I feel like I’ve been placing pressure on myself to overly appreciate him and it’s so counterproductive. I feel so bad because I told him about everything and he now thinks I don’t love him. Which is so wrong. I just want this to be fixed. Sometimes I feel like he’d be better off with a girl that isn’t such a headache and wouldn’t drain him all of the time but at the same time , I could never accept him being with anyone but me. Also, I have seen a psychoglist but it just didn’t feel right and I hated vocalising my thoughts because I felt it gave them more power - it feels like the only person I can truly be raw with about this stuff is my bestfriend. If anyone has any tips , PLEASE help me.
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