- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I have had the same thoughts and fears, wondering if I'm a cheater for being very open and talkative You're asking for reassurance here however and this won't help you get better in your OCD journey. I suggest you do ERP, expose yourself to the fear of being a cheater, flirting etc, until eventually your brain realizes this isn't something that will kill you and the anxiety will drop. You can have no real answers from yourself when you're anxious anyway, so prioritize the exposure, is my honest opinion. I've been exactly where you are and still get some thoughts that I'm bad for having male friends and that it's immoral, I know what you're going through.
- Date posted
- 5y
So sorry went through this, I know how much it sucks.. & Yeah you’re right, like I said, I feel like hanging out with them is a good exposure since my fear is losing control while I’m there and doing something stupid.. I wish I can just stay in my room for days on end and avoid everything but that’s no good
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kea You won't leave your life behind for the OCD, you deserve to live your life! Keep on doing the hard work and it gets better, gradually and slowly, but it does. Sending my good wishes to you
- Date posted
- 5y
@little rabbit Same for you, goodluck!
- Date posted
- 5y
If your boyfriend knows and is okay with it, then it’s definitely not wrong! It’s okay to have guy friends. It’s also normal to have intrusive thoughts like you said, and I know they seem so horrible but that’s all ocd is. Now if you feel that you are putting yourself in a situation where cheating could happen, then I’d recommend not hanging around them! As long as it’s just friendly, I see no harm.
- Date posted
- 5y
I have thoughts like this every single day and it’s debilitating. All we can really do is what we feel is best at the moment. I think a lot of things we consider “right” or “wrong” is just a matter of opinion.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
So this past week I’ve needed to do something’s with group for my school. I have been hanging around more people who are not my boyfriend and now I’m scared I’m losing feelings for him and I am attracted to someone else. Is this normal I have researched and researched and it says it is but what if these thoughts are true? What if there is someone better for me than my boyfriend? Help me please has anyone else gone through this?
- Date posted
- 19w
Despite the fact that I have never once acted flirtatiously with someone else over the course of my 3-year relationship, never talked to anyone inappropriately, never touched or interacted with anyone inappropriately, I have been battling constant ROCD obsessions centered around cheating ever since my partner and I got together. I am constantly worried about whether certain things are cheating: daydreaming about another person (already told my partner about this and he said it was okay and that he does it too), talking in a group chat with someone, sitting next to someone, speaking to them in person. I question my intentions. I worry that I cheated by wearing my hair a certain way in an attempt to look more attractive or by jokingly poking someone with a fake sword (despite doing it to other people too), looking through someone’s social media, etc. I have confessed so many ridiculous things to my partner and he’s always told me that none of them are cheating. I feel so guilty for being attracted to someone else, despite the fact that my partner said it was fine and normal. I have made a very very conscious effort to limit my interactions with this person. I never ever ever ever message them privately, I make an obsessive effort to NOT reply to their messages in a group server (constantly keeping track of the ratio of my replies to their messages compared to other people’s), to ignore them when I see them in person and hardly ever speak to them or initiate conversation with them. Yet I still feel like a disgusting dirty cheater who is hiding a big secret.
- Date posted
- 11w
I adore my partner. There’s this other guy my ocd has been triggered by from the start. He hangs out with my friends, we used to hangout before my partner. I feel like I’m so wrong for still hanging around him in social settings. Its just fun sometimes. I have fleeting feelings and there’s kind of a flirtatious vibe? I’m scared I’ve flirted. I’m scared of the “feelings” I get even though I know feelings can have zero significance when I love my partner so much. I overanalyze everything. The guilt is overwhelming. I want to be with my partner not this other guy. I feel like a terrible partner. I know this could all be OCD why does it feel so hard. I think my brain has so much worked up over this other person no wonder I feel so much guilt. My OCD makes everything into a big deal.
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