Hi everyone! I’m not sure who saw my post a couple days ago about rocd attacking my boyfriends friends lol.. they’re not unattractive and I had some horrible thoughts (I call them horrible even though they’re “normal”).. I’ve had the fear or cheating, flirting, etc even though I know I would never. Sometimes I worry myself because I like impressing them but I only do that because they’re his friends so I want them to like me lol! Anyways, ever since then they’ve been still hanging out with my friends and I’ve been tagging along because I feel like hanging out with them is a good exposure but then my mind also picks at the idea that me hanging out with them is wrong since my boyfriend isn’t there with us.. he’s in the army and he’s helping at the elderly homes but he knows when we hangout and he seems fine with it.. anyways I just need someone’s opinion on this, thanks!

I have had the same thoughts and fears, wondering if I'm a cheater for being very open and talkative You're asking for reassurance here however and this won't help you get better in your OCD journey. I suggest you do ERP, expose yourself to the fear of being a cheater, flirting etc, until eventually your brain realizes this isn't something that will kill you and the anxiety will drop. You can have no real answers from yourself when you're anxious anyway, so prioritize the exposure, is my honest opinion. I've been exactly where you are and still get some thoughts that I'm bad for having male friends and that it's immoral, I know what you're going through.

If your boyfriend knows and is okay with it, then it’s definitely not wrong! It’s okay to have guy friends. It’s also normal to have intrusive thoughts like you said, and I know they seem so horrible but that’s all ocd is. Now if you feel that you are putting yourself in a situation where cheating could happen, then I’d recommend not hanging around them! As long as it’s just friendly, I see no harm.

I have thoughts like this every single day and it’s debilitating. All we can really do is what we feel is best at the moment. I think a lot of things we consider “right” or “wrong” is just a matter of opinion.