So I think my ocd that is connected to my peripheral vision has gotten worse. I’m paranoid that I have some brain tumor or a form of psychosis. I’m just constantly hyper aware of my peripheral vision. Just a small stain or mark on the floor makes me nervous cause I can’t ignore it. I sometimes feel I see things that aren’t there and idk if it’s my mind playing tricks on me but now it’s getting hard to focus on things in front of me because my peripheral vision will distract me. Ughhhhh how do I diagnose this. I can’t stop thinking about my peripheral vision. When I manage to distract myself and start enjoying and focusing on something in front of me my brain will bring it back to how wack my peripheral vision seems. I’m scared and I hate this. I can only seem to focus when I move around but when I sit down that’s when this shit starts up again and I’m just terrified of what this means for my peripheral vision and my wellbeing.

My last and almost life long theme/sub-theme largely subsided recently and my ocd felt like it wasn’t even an issue. Then I went on winter break from uni and being alone made my mind come up with a whole new topic to obsess over. TLDR on my fears, my advisor wouldn’t email me back for a while about signing up for classes so my mind started to worry “what if he doesn’t in time and you can’t enroll this semester and you lose this whole life you just built and all these new friends” So when that issue was resolved my mind found other scarier ways I could be uprooted from my current life and friends that I’ve grown so attached to. Then my mind remembered back when I was struggling with false memories and scrupulosity and I essentially made a post on a forum 2 and a half years ago saying I did something or was convinced I did something that I never actually did. Now I’ve been spiraling about someone finding it reporting me and I either get seen as a horrible person or arrested or something over something I never actually did but “admitted” to out of fear of going to hell. My mind won’t let it go and keeps finding new reasons for it to be “valid” “logical” or even inevitable. I feel like it’s just hanging over my head and I can never rest easy. Especially when I try to focus on my daily tasks or plan for the future I get this horrible flair up of “why plan for the future when this could come back in that future and you get uprooted from all of it” my mind won’t rest without certainty being uprooted won’t happen but certainty doesn’t exist, at least not with ocd. This sucks and I miss being care free.

Yes. You may be confused but that is literally what my brain is hyperfixating on right now. Less than a millimeter. I’ve done too much google searching today and now I feel like my teeth are gonna fall out. Can someone help me or give me advice to get over this? I’m not trying to ask for reassurance but do your teeth move very slightly too? I already made a dentist appointment because I’m so freaked out. I hate ocd.

How to know if you actually have it or if I’m just making up the symptoms? I have a lot of intrusive thoughts constantly and even have a “theme” but it really surged after I search up what I was experiencing, but then again I search up a lot of what I experience and constantly have to recheck things. My parents say I’m normal but I know I’m not, (both of my siblings have adhd) I find it immensely hard to focus from turning 17-18. Please let me know what you think l! Thanks!