Have one of you guys already been owned by an ODC like "I touch something then I'm afraid of curse someone I love or like the moment I touch it". Then the more I'm scared the more it is hard not to think about it and the more the "monster" grows up inside my brain. So I finally expose myself by doing it then I culpabilise, and the circle is made! I also have this while I'm reading something. If I come over a word that triggers a bad thought I'm 100% doomed. It's bothering so I do my rituals (""whising"" death to people I care of and so) then I culpabilise). I still wanna stick on the exposure because from experience that's the best way to get rid of this but sometimes the exposure gets worsened. What a pleasure to live with this shit I swear ? but lest stay strong ?, there's a message behind each OCD.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder, also known as the disease of doubt, has a very crippling effect on an individual's ability to function at its worst. This seems to happen especially when the individual's obsessive-compulsive disorder is thematically related to violence, sexually inappropriate thoughts or other taboo topics. When the vicious circle progresses far enough, a person no longer necessarily knows himself at all, is not sure of who they are or what they want. I believe that the background of obsessive-compulsive disorder, like the background of mental health problems in general, is a feeling of disgust and revulsion towards some thought, scenario or self. The way in which obsessive-compulsive disorder manifests itself, especially in the so-called "pure o" form, is very complex, because the individual disgust-inducing thematicity manifests itself not only in thoughts but also in the form of feelings, temptations and physical sensations. In some cases, however, this goes so far that the person's beliefs about his own integrity begin to decay and the feeling of hope and the meaning of life disappear. The idea can be clarified analogously to Nietzsche's thoughts on belief systems. As a result of obsessions and other repulsive thoughts, feelings and temptations, a person's belief system about his own integrity begins to collapse, but when the belief system collapses - the belief in that belief system itself collapses as well. When it no longer seems meaningful or possible to believe in the realization of a familiar and safe belief system, there is also no hope for anything better. So there is no longer even hope left for a meaningful whole of self, which drives a person to deep anxiety and depersonalization, which in turn begins to displace a person from social relationships and from all meaningful activities that a person is used to enjoying and creating meaning for his life based on his own complete self-concept, which is no longer felt to exist. Any thoughts or similar experiences on this?

I'm going to delete this in a bit because of my ocd, but any kind words and suggestions before I do, are appreciated. I feel so defeated, I'm so drained. I practice ERP everyday, I can't do it constantly, I'm just suffering so bad with ocd. I've had it my whole life for as long as I can remember but recently it's got horrendous. Is anyone else suffering this bad? Has anyone else had it your whole life?

I have severe contamination ocd. I even try to avoid touching people bcz i tgink they might not be clean and if i touch something i feel like i need to take shower and wash my clothes and all other stuff. And almost everytime i am just thinking how to avoid touching contaminated thing and what of i come in contact with those things. How will be i be able to repeat the cleaning process all over its soooo hard. If i try exposure it makes my depression even worse so i just do compulsions again. Is everyone else suffering from contamination ocd? I feel like a need a break from my own thoughts and want my brain to calm.