- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m sorry you’re going through this! I have some of the same obsessions it sucks :(. But all of the searching and checking social media will never satisfy your ocd, it’s just a compulsion. I used to search this same way and it just led to big fights with my boyfriend and took me further away from my value of being a strong , self-loving woman! I think it is important to share what you want in the relationship but it seems like you’ve told him a lot and he keeps reassuring you - this ‘fix’ won’t last long as I’m sure you’ve realized. Write out and do an ERP that maybe he is seeing someone else and what you’re afraid that means about you. If he’s seeing someone else after telling you he wasn’t, that’s on him. I know this is painful but If you do the exposure work as well as practice self kindness, it will get better. Thinking of you, you are strong and not alone ❤️
- Date posted
- 6y
Good luck and I hope you the best
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes it is!! Sometimes I say it’s like having a full-time job just inside my mind. But ERP is one of the most helpful things I’ve done & still do. And you’re definitely not alone in having these thoughts :)
- Date posted
- 6y
I know how it feels to have trust issues but I think an important part of a relationship is honesty. Talk to him and be open about how you feel. If he truely likes you I’m sure he’ll understand. I’m sure you guys can get through this.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks for your reply! I have talked to him about it many times and he has told me numerous times he isn’t seeing anyone else. My issue is that even though we have these conversations I have these obsessive thoughts that he’s lying to me and check all his social media looking for something.
- Date posted
- 6y
I get that this can be something very hard to go through and I completely understand that. Maybe try going to see a therapist or just a close friend you trust. I’m not an expert and completely understand how it feels to have trust issues. I’m sure you like this guy and want to be with him but you’re minds telling you that somethings up. Every time one of these thoughts pop up try doing some calming activities like meditating. This can often help suppress the thoughts. Hope this helped xx
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you I’ll try it!
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you! I appreciate the response, and it is reassuring to know I’m not the only one who has these thoughts. It’s mentally exhausting. I will definitely try the ERP
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I’m at a loss about what to do. I’ve been with my partner for about a year. I’ve wanted to be with him for 3 years and now I finally have him, I got out of a really toxic 11 year relationship about 4 years ago so I’ve had plenty of time to heal, things where going so great at first in our relationship and I’m still very much happy with him, I love him more than anything, but the past 5 6 months I’ve been having a constant fear that he’s gonna cheat or watch 🌽behind my back any chance he gets , I know that’s a touchy subject for some, but me personally it just makes me feel that I’m not attractive enough,or feel like I’m not good enough, I’ve never found evidence of cheating, and I’ve found 🌽 in his history once but I told him how I felt and he told me he understood how I felt and wouldn’t do it again,and I know the constant asking everyday and needing for reassurance with it is putting a tear in our relationship, I just want to fix it. Does anyone have any advice on how to redirect my brain whenever I start overthinking about it when I’m not around him? It just puts so much stress on me when I’m not around him cause I’m just constantly in my head about it.
- Date posted
- 22w
I feel so bad I overthink abt everything my bf says and does. I think that if he doesn’t say x y z when I want reassurance then he must’ve stopped caring or is tired of me. I know it’s not the truth and he gives me NO reason to think this way. This is my first healthy relationship and I want to be in each others lives forever. I love him so much and I’m trying my hardest to manage these thoughts but I’m so anxious. It’s so draining I feel helpless and like I can’t go a day without checking his social medias. I want us to be the best versions of ourselves for eachother but idk where to start or how to manage this feeling.
- Date posted
- 19w
Hi everyone! I have been having a rough time. So my boyfriend talks to his ex still as friends and I’ve been struggling with it lately and I can’t tell if it’s OCD or not but it does feel so distressing. She wasn’t texting him for about 2-3 months as she got into a relationship with this guy and they broke up. She had messaged him saying that she has no one else to talk to and needed to vent to someone. At first I felt okay, but my intrusive thoughts took over and it seemed like she was trying to get with him after the fact. It’s probably just my intrusive thoughts talking but he looks on Discord (the app where the message) constantly now and my intrusive thoughts convince me that he’s still in love with her. Then yesterday I saw one of his BeReals (a little photo app that shows a photo of the day) and I saw that he was watching one of her streams as she is a streamer. I struggled to talk about it because it made my worst thought feel like it came true where he is still in love with her. When we talked he gets a lil mad that I don’t tell him right away like straight up what I’m feeling but it’s hard to process because my thoughts flood in of all the worst things and I don’t want to come off as toxic at all and I know relationships are built on trust and I want to trust because this is literally the only thing that makes me nervous about him. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been cheated on before so I’m trying to protect myself but I’m lost. I get so depressed and so anxious because I feel like I have to grieve the relationship and it’s just so dramatic. I’ve never loved anyone like this before and I don’t wanna lose him by bringing this stuff up constantly when something occurs with his ex. I don’t know why I get triggered so easily and I just wanna heal from it and be the good girlfriend I’m supposed to be 😭
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