- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m sorry you’re going through this! I have some of the same obsessions it sucks :(. But all of the searching and checking social media will never satisfy your ocd, it’s just a compulsion. I used to search this same way and it just led to big fights with my boyfriend and took me further away from my value of being a strong , self-loving woman! I think it is important to share what you want in the relationship but it seems like you’ve told him a lot and he keeps reassuring you - this ‘fix’ won’t last long as I’m sure you’ve realized. Write out and do an ERP that maybe he is seeing someone else and what you’re afraid that means about you. If he’s seeing someone else after telling you he wasn’t, that’s on him. I know this is painful but If you do the exposure work as well as practice self kindness, it will get better. Thinking of you, you are strong and not alone ❤️
- Date posted
- 6y
Good luck and I hope you the best
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes it is!! Sometimes I say it’s like having a full-time job just inside my mind. But ERP is one of the most helpful things I’ve done & still do. And you’re definitely not alone in having these thoughts :)
- Date posted
- 6y
I know how it feels to have trust issues but I think an important part of a relationship is honesty. Talk to him and be open about how you feel. If he truely likes you I’m sure he’ll understand. I’m sure you guys can get through this.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks for your reply! I have talked to him about it many times and he has told me numerous times he isn’t seeing anyone else. My issue is that even though we have these conversations I have these obsessive thoughts that he’s lying to me and check all his social media looking for something.
- Date posted
- 6y
I get that this can be something very hard to go through and I completely understand that. Maybe try going to see a therapist or just a close friend you trust. I’m not an expert and completely understand how it feels to have trust issues. I’m sure you like this guy and want to be with him but you’re minds telling you that somethings up. Every time one of these thoughts pop up try doing some calming activities like meditating. This can often help suppress the thoughts. Hope this helped xx
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you I’ll try it!
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you! I appreciate the response, and it is reassuring to know I’m not the only one who has these thoughts. It’s mentally exhausting. I will definitely try the ERP
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
Sometimes I get really upset with my boyfriend and I can’t tell if I’m not having my needs met or if it’s my ROCD questioning things. I can’t express that I’m upset because he rlly doesn’t understand what is going on in my head and most times I bring it up it’s turned into an argument. It is really frustrating does anyone have any tips on deciphering this stuff or dealing with the upset feeling/ bad thoughts (IE: “He’s cheating on me and that’s why he’s not texting.”) (IE: “He’s talking like this because he just doesn’t love me, and he’s not attracted to me. He clearly wants to leave me but doesn’t have the heart to do it yet”)
- Date posted
- 17w
I’ve been struggling with something that’s been really overwhelming, and I’m hoping to get some perspective from others here. I feel a lot of guilt about it, and I’m not sure if I’m alone in this experience. Lately, I’ve found myself daydreaming about romantic situations or getting caught up in ‘what if’ scenarios—where I wonder if I could develop feelings for someone else, or if someone develops feelings for me. The thing is, I’m in a relationship that I love, and I don’t want to act on these thoughts at all. What makes it even harder is that these thoughts often hyperfixate on one specific friend, and sometimes they feel entertaining or give me a dopamine rush. But then, of course, I feel even more guilty because it makes me feel like I’m betraying my boyfriend. These thoughts usually happen when I’m upset and looking for comfort, but then they morph into romantic scenarios, which makes me feel so disloyal. I’m constantly going back and forth between feeling curious or entertained by the thoughts and then feeling horrible for even allowing them to happen in the first place. I keep confessing these thoughts to my boyfriend, and he tries to be understanding. He’s just never been the type to daydream, so he doesn’t know if this is something other people experience or if it’s just me. I feel like such an awful girlfriend. Has anyone else dealt with something like this?
- Relationship OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- OCD newbies
- "Pure" OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 13w
Does anyone else struggle with object permanence in relationships? Like whenever my partner is out of the house I immediately think negatively or I find things wrong with the relationship or him… For background my partner and I always fight over chores (I know it’s common but it’s annoying) I definitely pull more weight than him and I think he has ADHD, which makes him struggle to help and be aware of helping. Lately we’ve been somewhat good with splitting meals and dishes whatever, I know it can change with work stress, fatigue whatever. But last week my partner was out of the house watching his uncle’s dog so he was barely home. He was sleeping over at his uncles house and would come home for meals sometimes and stuff like that. I started becoming super fixated on him not helping with the dishes before he left and would constantly feel urges to yell about it. Even though the week prior everything was good when it came to that (sometimes with my ROCD I’ll even question myself and be like was it?) so I have started 4 separate fights arguing about dishes and chores and mentioning that he doesn’t help enough and if this continues I’ll have to leave… it’s so hard for me to snap out of it and just realize that he was going back and forth and didn’t think to help because he was busy with helping his uncle. And then I get such a negative view of him in my head that I nitpick his appearance, I make comments, etc, because my underlying fear is he doesn’t care to help, he will never change, and we will fail. So it’s almost like I’m looking to have a reason to run before I actually need to? It’s a constant cycle for me and I’m truly so exhausted by myself. But also relationships are so hard for me because I struggled SO much with trying to depend on others that I almost don’t let myself depend on others…. Any advice is appreciated but also just like do you also experience this? Thank you & pls be kind 🥺🥺🥺
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