- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I’m sorry you’re going through this! I have some of the same obsessions it sucks :(. But all of the searching and checking social media will never satisfy your ocd, it’s just a compulsion. I used to search this same way and it just led to big fights with my boyfriend and took me further away from my value of being a strong , self-loving woman! I think it is important to share what you want in the relationship but it seems like you’ve told him a lot and he keeps reassuring you - this ‘fix’ won’t last long as I’m sure you’ve realized. Write out and do an ERP that maybe he is seeing someone else and what you’re afraid that means about you. If he’s seeing someone else after telling you he wasn’t, that’s on him. I know this is painful but If you do the exposure work as well as practice self kindness, it will get better. Thinking of you, you are strong and not alone ❤️
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Good luck and I hope you the best
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yes it is!! Sometimes I say it’s like having a full-time job just inside my mind. But ERP is one of the most helpful things I’ve done & still do. And you’re definitely not alone in having these thoughts :)
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I know how it feels to have trust issues but I think an important part of a relationship is honesty. Talk to him and be open about how you feel. If he truely likes you I’m sure he’ll understand. I’m sure you guys can get through this.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Thanks for your reply! I have talked to him about it many times and he has told me numerous times he isn’t seeing anyone else. My issue is that even though we have these conversations I have these obsessive thoughts that he’s lying to me and check all his social media looking for something.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I get that this can be something very hard to go through and I completely understand that. Maybe try going to see a therapist or just a close friend you trust. I’m not an expert and completely understand how it feels to have trust issues. I’m sure you like this guy and want to be with him but you’re minds telling you that somethings up. Every time one of these thoughts pop up try doing some calming activities like meditating. This can often help suppress the thoughts. Hope this helped xx
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Thank you I’ll try it!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Thank you! I appreciate the response, and it is reassuring to know I’m not the only one who has these thoughts. It’s mentally exhausting. I will definitely try the ERP
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w ago
I’m not saying any of this to be rude or hateful in any way!! Basically, I like this guy and I really love him, but, everytime I look at this one photo of him, I keep noticing he looks unflattering and it makes me worry, because I’m scared what if he’s ugly? And why does that even matter? Why can’t I just love him in peace without having to check his photo to make sure he’s not ugly? Like that sounds really rude and disrespectful and it hurts even more to know that he’s self conscious and I would NEVER want to hurt him so I don’t tell him I check his photo to make sure he’s not ugly, I get anxious when I notice/feel that he is unattractive/unflattering, so I check till I feel certain that I don’t think he’s ugly, why do I even do this? Why does it matter? Why does my brain make it difficult to even look at a photo without worrying, can I be normal? I say “I think he’s cute/I love him” to his photo and my brain is like “nope cuz he’s unattractive” then I get worried and for what??? I ask myself why do I care and I genuinely don’t know
- Date posted
- 8w ago
i feel so bad for posting here, idk what i wamt i have so many thoughts abt the feelings i have for my bf im scared my thughts are true or that they will be true and i feel bad for feeling amd thinking this way i such a bad girlfriend, i am scared that i like other people just because i look at them or talk to them normally and i feel like a liar what cam i do to stop feeling like this i am scared
- Date posted
- 4w ago
I’ve been struggling with something that’s been really overwhelming, and I’m hoping to get some perspective from others here. I feel a lot of guilt about it, and I’m not sure if I’m alone in this experience. Lately, I’ve found myself daydreaming about romantic situations or getting caught up in ‘what if’ scenarios—where I wonder if I could develop feelings for someone else, or if someone develops feelings for me. The thing is, I’m in a relationship that I love, and I don’t want to act on these thoughts at all. What makes it even harder is that these thoughts often hyperfixate on one specific friend, and sometimes they feel entertaining or give me a dopamine rush. But then, of course, I feel even more guilty because it makes me feel like I’m betraying my boyfriend. These thoughts usually happen when I’m upset and looking for comfort, but then they morph into romantic scenarios, which makes me feel so disloyal. I’m constantly going back and forth between feeling curious or entertained by the thoughts and then feeling horrible for even allowing them to happen in the first place. I keep confessing these thoughts to my boyfriend, and he tries to be understanding. He’s just never been the type to daydream, so he doesn’t know if this is something other people experience or if it’s just me. I feel like such an awful girlfriend. Has anyone else dealt with something like this?
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