- Username
- rosecoloredgirl
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 16. I had been in therapy since I was 9 with anxiety and depression but when I was 16 I watched a show about people with ocd and I started to write everything down that I did that I didn’t think anything about. I had symptoms when younger like I used to have problems with socks and tags on my shirts which for kids is a sign when young. I had a list of over 50 symptoms/compulsions I had after writing everything down. My ocd also went hand in hand with my eating disorder which it is common for people with an ed to also have ocd. Everything made since and with proper medication and therapy I’m doing great. I’m happy again and I turned 19 in August.
I was 10 years old. I was looking at a photograph of both of my parents and the thought “they’re going to die” suddenly popped into my head. Being so young, I had no idea where this thought came from or why I thought it but I knew that it bothered me. Around the same age I had another intrusive thought that scared me and I remember just asking God to forgive me over and over and over and over again throughout the night time. I knew that my thoughts were strange but I didn’t realize what I had until I literally looked up “unwanted thoughts” on line. When I came across the description for OCD and read more about it I begin to cry, because I realized for the first time that what I had, had a name.
Wasn’t diagnosed until 19 but I’ve been showing signs for the last 8 years or so. My main obsession is time and I have multiple alarms to keep me on schedule or to keep me from being late
I’ve personally shown symptoms of OCD since I was little even though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 17 (I’m turning 20 in a few days). The first sign that both my family and I remember is how I always used to take too long in the school bathroom when I was in Kindergarten because I didn’t feel clean enough after using it.
Wasn’t diagnosed until I was 19 but I showed symptoms of obsessive anxious thinking since I was about 4 I’d say.
When I started to wash my hands repeatedly I realised, but since being diagnosed I have realised that looking back I had signs of ocd before that one, but they were just less ocd stereotypical things of you know what I Mean
Wasn’t diagnosed till 17... showed signs of it as early as 4 from what my parents say. The first time I ever really remember it making a difference in my life was when I was 6... I don’t remember life without this.
my first ever compulsion happened in the 2nd grade! i remember it so clearly. i was feeling very anxious towards the end of recess, and my brain convinced little me that i had to go back and forth on the monkey bars exactly 3 times before returning to the classroom or else i would feel unbearably anxious for the rest of the school day.
anyone else had ocd from a very young age? I’m talking like, I remember obsessions from when I was 6. and my family remembers my symptoms from even earlier. I didn’t get help until I was 15 because my family isn’t big on mental health. anyway, it frustrates me that I genuinely don’t know what it’s like to live without ocd. Sometimes I hear/see people talk about how they just wish things could back to how they were ‘before,’ or that imagining what their life was like before onset helps motivate them in recovery. But I don’t have anything like that. in fact, it’s almost scary to think about recovering completely because I don’t know anything else? it depresses me
for those with sexual orientation ocd.. if you are comfortable sharing (and if you remember), what was the moment/person/place/etc. that first triggered your sexual orientation ocd? i’m just genuinely curious and want to see if there are any patterns. for me it was the summer before my freshman year of high school (i am currently 21). i was going to a pride parade with some family friends and was texting a guy that i ended up dating for a while. to be quite frank, he was a total idiot. he asked what was up and i told him that i was going to a pride parade with some friends. his immediate response was “wait does that mean that you are gay??”. i remember that i got this weird sensation of panic after i read that text. and his question like stayed lingering in my mind for longer than it should have. long story short, my sexual orientation ocd really kicked in halfway through my freshman year of high school..but i didn’t realize that that was what it was until about 2 years ago.
How has everyone else's OCD progressed throughout their lives? Has everyone else always had severe OCD or did you live regular lives beforehand and encounter one point where it went from 0 to 100. Where are you now in your OCD Journey? I'm very curious as to everyone else's stories and have left mine below if you’d like to read it. From what I can remember, I went relatively undisturbed by OCD the majority of my middle/late childhood, only having about 1-3 thoughts a year that weren't super bothersome but did create a level of distress uncomparable to regular intrusive thoughts. They were mainly about my health and about my parents safety & wellbeing. The earliest memory about my OCD that really stood out was back in 5th Grade, when I hit my head on a swing set and immediately began reciting every moment leading up to injury as well as every math equation I knew to make sure my memory was still intact. The greater part of my adolescence was essentially the same and resembled what I believed to be a normal life, just with a couple of OCD thoughts sprinkled throughout it. I was able to function pretty well albeit depressed and somewhat anxious. It wasn't until I was close to my highschool graduation that I experienced the worst panic attack(at the time) at the idea that I would hurt my parents. It was so distressing because the thought felt so loud that I believed it was genuine which only caused more distress. I was so scared that I would act on the thought that I discarded all of my sharp objects and locked myself in my room. That was my first ever severe reaction I experienced due to OCD and was back in May of this year. I actually learned what OCD was the same night and realized that many of my newly found fears including mold growing in my walls and my parents disliking me were also caused by the OCD. Unfortunately learning that it was probably OCD wasn't enough to quell my fear and I engaged in a bunch of compulsions in the months to come, worsening my OCD In the process. June was alright. July was worse(I only had like three topics for obsessions which sounds great now). Late July-Early August was my tipping point . Things went from worse to profoundly terrible in a short period. I found this app late August which was great because I had grown exhausted. September was pretty bad but not as bad as August. Now it's October and life is somewhat good now. I've become more knowledgeable of OCD (big thanks to this app and my therapist) but I'm very far from done. There's still this looming sense of anxiety that follows me everywhere. I have like 20 obsessions now, some being larger and scarier than others but those smaller ones are still apparent. But, the fear has decreased as well as the mental compulsions that came with it. My mind is quieter now. However the anxiety has stayed the same. My heart still drops whenever my worst obsession is triggered. Headaches, brain fog, sweating, rapid heart rate, sense of being paralyzed, racing mind are commonplace in my life but I've learned to sit with the physical discomfort (not that it makes it any less terrifying). Anyways, I'm here now which is cool. I’d like to listen to others' experiences to get a better understanding of OCD and maybe feel a bit less alone. feel free to ask any questions.
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