- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I am so sorry. I work at a college too and we are going to have to go in soon as well. I feel your fear and I dont know how to help because I'm also in that situation. I'm hoping a doctor can wrote me a note for mental health purposes.
- Date posted
- 5y
* UPDATE * Had my first day back at work yesterday. I started having obsessive thoughts about everything being contaminated. I did a lot of cleaning and tbh cried a lot. I wound up leaving early because I felt so physically sick, but I did it. I spent 6 hours at my office so I'm counting it as a "win". I still don't think any colleges should be in-person right now and I still have INTENSE anxiety about going back, but I'm doing everything I can to stay safe and keep my job.
- Date posted
- 5y
๐๐ผ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ Seriously, so proud of you! Continuing to send you strength.
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- 5y
@ARTnotOCD Thank you so much, I appreciate it! ๐
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- 5y
@coolghoul44 Also, my puppers is cuddled up asleep in my arm, so naturally Iโm just stuck here. Heโs dreaming real hard to send you extra lovins anytime you need them, especially at work. ๐๐ถ๐งก
- Date posted
- 5y
That's so wonderful! Does your management know that you suffer with this?
- Date posted
- 5y
No, they don't. I don't have an official diagnosis yet. I've been expressing my severe anxiety about going back to campus for months to HR and my supervisor. I called HR on Friday and explained to them that I experience a lot of the symptoms listed under COVID daily (headaches, GI upset, muscle pain). I said that I've been experiencing it before COVID and how I'm working with my doctors to figure out the underlying cause/problem. Do whatever is safest for you.
- Date posted
- 5y
And they still had you come back? I'm an administrator at a college and they are keeping us at home to keep the staff who NEED to be on campus safe. They need us to go in and pack up for a move but that's all for now. Are you essential on campus?
- Date posted
- 5y
@catattak Yes, I'm considered an essential worker as of last week. I work in sexual violence prevention and we had students return to campus last Friday. But it doesn't make sense because I don't have the space to meet with students in my office and I can't do any in-person programming. I specifically had HR clarify that everything should continue to be on Zoom. For your move, maybe try going at an off-time? Either super early or super late. That way you'll interact with the least amount of people possible.
- Date posted
- 5y
@coolghoul44 We will be scheduled but I have a biopsy in a few weeks I cant get sick before. So I'm going to try and reason with my ED and say I cant come in before then but will go in on a weekend when no one is there. I'm sorry you're back but I am glad for zoom as opposed to in person meetings. This is probably some amazing ERP as much as you can handle and I think your anxiety will lessen as you are out
- Date posted
- 5y
Going in on the weekend sounds like a great idea! I did that 3 weeks before I returned to work to grab something from my office. It was very helpful because I went on my own terms and I was able to handle the anxiety by myself without people being around! Def ask for that! And yes, I agree with you! It'll be good ERP haha I wish you luck on your biopsy!
- Date posted
- 5y
I wish I had some real suggestions. I donโt know if youโd wanna try any accommodations through ADA. (I usually disclose my OCD as a student, but not as an employee.). Keep doing what you know are the suggested precautions in the meantime. If you like dogs, can I send you some puppy snuggles to ease your anxiety at all? Best wishes!
- Date posted
- 5y
I don't know if I can get accommodations through the ADA because I don't have an ~official diagnosis yet. I bought cute masks to help me feel better and I have other supplies too. It's the physical anxiety and obsessive thoughts that I'm struggling with. Following the precautions may be the only thing I can do right now to keep my job. I love dogs! I would love to see pictures! ๐ถ
- Date posted
- 5y
@coolghoul44 Is there a way to share pics here? Iโll describe him: heโs a rescue, so weโre not sure of anything, but he seems like a Jack Russell and Brittany mix. Heโs mostly white with orange spots. The Russell in him makes him have a large rib cage and that full-body wag. It also means he sometimes just walks across the room on only his hind legs or do other circus tricks for no reason. The Brittany in him keeps his hair so soft and his tail very floofy. He has one brown eye and one half-brown, half-blue eye. Heโs also very good for helping me through anxiety and is learning to even respond to help me stop picking or do other compulsions.
- Date posted
- 5y
@ARTnotOCD He sends snuggles whenever you need them!
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- 5y
@ARTnotOCD HE SOUNDS SO CUTE!! Thank you!! โก
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
I've been having a really tough time lately with a recent workplace interaction that occurrd today, and my mind just keeps replaying the events over and over. It feels like an endless loop, and I'm finding it incredibly hard to let go. I'm trying to figure out if this intense replaying is more about my OCD, or if it's a typical reaction to a stressful situation that's being amplified by my OCD tendencies. The specific details of the incident involve a colleague engaging in a racially insensitive discussion that I tried to disengage from. Despite my attempts to steer the conversation away and remove myself, the situation escalated with direct confrontation and accusations. This led to significant emotional distress for me. Later in the day, the same colleague misunderstood another conversation, making baseless accusations and publicly confronting me in a very aggressive way. I kept quiet throughout, just a bit of muttering. The emotional toll of these interactions has been immense. Now, my mind is stuck. I can't seem to stop dwelling on every word, every gesture, and every imagined alternative outcome. Hoping I'm not viewed as the "angry black woman" which is such an affair narrative why can't I state grievances of racism, without this narrative. * how do you manage the relentless replaying of stressful workplace interactions? What are your go-to coping mechanisms when your mind gets "stuck" on these loops? * Have you found any specific strategies helpful for navigating interpersonal conflicts at work when your OCD makes it difficult to process and move past them? * When you're feeling emotionally vulnerable due to work stress, what helps you prevent these situations from turning into prolonged rumination cycles? Any advice or shared experiences would be incredibly helpful. I'll be so grateful for any assistance. I just feel like I'm not good at life.
- Date posted
- 20w
Iโve been spiraling since a workplace incident last Thursday. I had an uncomfortable and tense interaction with a colleague, and it triggered a lot of obsessive rumination. I spent the whole weekend crying, panicking, and replaying everything that happened. Today, I went back to work โ and it was really hard. Everyone acted like nothing happened. They joke with him, treat him normally, even though he bullied me and Iโm justโฆ sitting there. I didnโt greet him, and he didnโt greet me. I kept to myself, answered questions when I had to, but didnโt socialize. Now I feel scared. Like Iโm walking on eggshells. I keep thinking: โWhat if I say something wrong?โ โWhat if I make a mistake and they say, โYou see? Sheโs the problemโ? Acting holier than thou & she's a bigot too!" I know this is partly my OCD and trauma talking, but it feels so real. Like Iโm one wrong move away from being blamed or alienated. Iโve even started eating lunch in my car to feel safe. Iโm trying so hard to hold boundaries, stay professional, and protect my peace. But Iโm exhausted. I feel like a shell of myself and Iโm scared Iโll break. I was already a little on eggshells cause most of my colleagues say or do something bigoted every now & then...my bigotry ocd is always scared that when I don't confront them. I'm condoning it & becoming them. I'm exhausted. I want to work remotely so I can stay isolated from people. I don't think I'll ever heal from this. I feel like this incident is one of those that permanently changes you. Like when my parents & siblings says I'm not the same anymore. I'm more panicked etc.
- Date posted
- 16w
TW: mice/rodents; contamination/virus; feeling unsafe in my home Hello, I'm new to the community, and new to OCD at 42 years old. My OCD is about contagion but specifically around mice and a virus some of them carry (hantavirus). For background, my husband and I have been in our house for a little over 10 years, and in all that time, there have been mice coming in and out through what we've discovered are chew-holes in the sill plate where the house frame sits on the foundation. Mice are gross, but we never saw evidence of them in the actual living spaces (only attics and cellar), and I was okay knowing they were there. I was a new mom when COVID hit, and the anxiety over that ratcheted up my general anxiety, which was never awful but definitely had me thinking more about contamination and contagion in a big way. Two years ago, I found mouse poop in the upstairs where the bedrooms are, got some traps, never caught anything, and then ended up actually SEEING a mouse come out from behind the toilet. It went back into the wall before we could catch it. After that, I got steel wool and expanding foam and plugged up EVERY hole in the house--mostly pipe holes for the radiators, toilets, sinks, etc. And I was still OK. Then, two months ago, I was in the cellar doing laundry and I saw a larger-than-usual dropping, bigger than mouse OR rat droppings, I thought, sitting on top of the dryer. I was like...hm, that's strange. I mentioned it to my Discord writing group, most of whom live in the Midwest (this will become relevant), and one of them said "oh, you have to be careful with mice, they carry Hantavirus. My husband had it a couple of years ago and it was really scary." I didn't know what hantavirus is, so I looked it up and found out you can contract it through breathing/contact with mouse poop, urine and saliva. The sickness that results from hantavirus has a 40% mortality rate, which scares the heck out of me b/c that's really high. Further research told me that the CDC started tracking Hantavirus in 1993. Between then and 2022, the latest of their available data, there have been fewer than 900 cases in the entire US; 96% of those cases were west of the Mississippi, and there has been in that time only ONE confirmed case in the state where I live. So, objectively, the risk of me or my family contracting this virus from our local mice is low. And I wouldn't think about it at all, except that there are still mice in the house. We've had a pest company setting and managing traps this whole time; recently they also came to plug the existing holes in the foundation, but they keep finding mice in their traps and they found a new chew hole near one of the cellar windows this week. We're working on a more aggressive solution (1/4" hardware cloth over the places where they're getting in), but it's slow going and in the meantime, there's still the risk of coming into contact with mouse stuff. But my brain has ballooned this into something so much bigger than that. I'm washing my hands so much that they're starting to crack and bleed and the skin feels tight. I'm afraid to go in the cellar to do laundry, because that's where the mice are. My husband has no problem going down in the cellar, which means I'm afraid to touch things around the house because what if he touched something with mouse virus on his hands? And even though I've plugged up all the holes where mice could get into the living spaces, I'm still obsessively afraid of every single surface--what if a mouse touched it? Ran across it? Peed on it? Even though I don't see mouse droppings in any of our living spaces, nor evidence of them chewing anything, I'm still losing my mind with fear. And although I've heard that folks with contamination OCD typically clean a LOT, I'm afraid to clean because what if I move the mess (we both have full time jobs and a 6 year old, so cleaning isn't always top priority) and I find mouse poop under there? This is an absolute nightmare. I hate not feeling safe in my own home. And I'm frustrated because I was FINE for so long...I don't know where this OCD suddenly came from, but it went 0 to 100 almost overnight. My loved ones are concerned and want to be supportive, but they're also not afraid and have never experienced anxiety nor OCD, so their "helpful" advice is usually along the lines of "can't you just decide to be afraid and do it anyway" or "have you tried not feeling this way"? I know this is a weirdly specific OCD but that's my story. I've been working with a therapist now for a few weeks but her breathing techniques, while somewhat helpful, aren't enough, so I need to have a talk with her about what comes next for treatment. Thanks to OCD, my world feels like it keeps getting smaller and smaller. I want to just find a tiny chair where I can sit and not move and not touch anything until all the bad stuff goes away...but I know that's not realistic, nor is is healthy. I'm just...exhausted, and frustrated, and scared, and really hopeful that I can find a way through this.
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