- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey you’re not alone! I’ve had random thoughts about “what if I’m gay” before they just never bothered me like they do now because I never gave it importance since my sexuality was never something I needed certainty of. My brain loves to bring it up as proof I’m gay. Just like @reliablereader says^ there’s a lot of girls who are okay with the possibility that they might be attracted to women on some level - that doesn’t necessarily mean that they are gay. I used to say I would gladly marry Jlo and other female celebrities I loved even though I considered myself straight and didn’t actually feel sexually attracted to them and I never thought twice about it before. I hope one day we can all just accept that we will never know and move on with our lives.
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- 5y
i wish i could just not worry about this kind of thing, it’s so annoying haha!!thank you so much :)
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- 5y
@zeep We probably should tell ourselves that there are worse things that could happen in life than ending up with JLo 😂🙈 But of course that OCD is not that easy to handle..
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- 5y
omg thats me w shakira because.. have y’all seen her? she’s gorgeous and her hips certainly don’t lie hahaha
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- 5y
@val ʚĭɞ HAHA same I love shakira and jlo now I’m thinking that super bowl would be a good exposure for us
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- 5y
@reliablereader That’s true hahaa I don’t know why we’re so terrified that we’ll be into a woman one day when it’s best to just live in the moment in today!
- Date posted
- 5y
I have. About a year ago I had a couple days where all I thought about was my sexuality and a couple times after that they’ve come into my head but I just assumed they weren’t true. I feel like they are true though but I just don’t want them to be
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- 5y
omg thank you i felt so alone:( i remember always not liking the ideas, but never to this extent with intrusive thoughts and ruminating.
- Date posted
- 5y
I don't want to give you reassurance but before I got into this terrible cycle of doubt, fear amd compulsion, I used to get fleeting thoughts about not being 100% straight without really being bothered by it. Sexuality is fluid and I know a lot of girls in happy straight relationships who find themselves attracted on some level to females (e.g. celebrity girl crushes or admiring a teacher at.). It could mean that they are not 100% straight or it could mean nothing at all, I think it depends on how you want to view it and how you want to live your life. The difference is that now my mind seems not to be able anymore to accept ambivalence anymore and urges me to be 100% sure that I will never ever fall in love with a woman and that if I cannot be totally sure about that then I have to blow up my relationship with my boyfriend with whom I have been with for over a decade. It really sucks, but I guess all we can do is embrace the uncertainty and go on with what makes us happy 💗
- Date posted
- 5y
thank you so much for your response! i relate to needing to be 100% sure ugh . thank you for saying that, i hadn’t really heard that before but that makes sense and it helped me feel much better :)
- Date posted
- 5y
hi!! i had these sort of thoughts when i was around 12 and i even thought i liked a girl but in reality it was just a friend crush! i even told her that i ‘liked’ her but that same day i called things off because i didn’t feel the same way that i felt about boys. like i just ddint see myself being romantically/sexually involved w a girl like i would w a guy. before and after all my crushes had been boys and well:// thanks to that event i had when i was younger it triggered my hocd but i’m feeling a whole lot better:) it was just curiosity and i ddint like the experience
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 19w
hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd
- Date posted
- 15w
i had recently been triggered to have so-ocd. its been on my mind non-stop. (i am a heterosexual female) and my mind has been all over the place questioning if i have been in denial the entire time. ive always had people tell me they sort of got that vibe it it never really affected me until my own mother had her suspicions. so i would constantly get triggered un public around the same gender, while knowing my true sexuality. ive always been attracted to men but as of recently ive been having super bad anxiety to where i cannot eat or sleep and feel weak all the time. it was like that for a week or so. now im in the calm where i have been trying accept the uncertainty but it still isnt fair as im getting triggered. im a little worried because it feels like i have been lying to my parents the entire time although ive never had the desire to be with the same gender. and i keep getting intrusive thoguhts that make me feel anxious and uncomfortable. its all starting to affect my friendships as im constantly getting triggered with the intrusive thoguhts. i feel a little less anxious compared to how i was a couple days ago. im really scared on why im having these thoughts now when i have been having romantic feelings for a guy the past year or so. ive also been struggling with false attraction and loss attraction to men. it makes me feel uncertain of my life the entire time
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