- Username
- zeep
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Hey you’re not alone! I’ve had random thoughts about “what if I’m gay” before they just never bothered me like they do now because I never gave it importance since my sexuality was never something I needed certainty of. My brain loves to bring it up as proof I’m gay. Just like @reliablereader says^ there’s a lot of girls who are okay with the possibility that they might be attracted to women on some level - that doesn’t necessarily mean that they are gay. I used to say I would gladly marry Jlo and other female celebrities I loved even though I considered myself straight and didn’t actually feel sexually attracted to them and I never thought twice about it before. I hope one day we can all just accept that we will never know and move on with our lives.
i wish i could just not worry about this kind of thing, it’s so annoying haha!!thank you so much :)
@zeep We probably should tell ourselves that there are worse things that could happen in life than ending up with JLo 😂🙈 But of course that OCD is not that easy to handle..
omg thats me w shakira because.. have y’all seen her? she’s gorgeous and her hips certainly don’t lie hahaha
@val ʚĭɞ HAHA same I love shakira and jlo now I’m thinking that super bowl would be a good exposure for us
@reliablereader That’s true hahaa I don’t know why we’re so terrified that we’ll be into a woman one day when it’s best to just live in the moment in today!
I have. About a year ago I had a couple days where all I thought about was my sexuality and a couple times after that they’ve come into my head but I just assumed they weren’t true. I feel like they are true though but I just don’t want them to be
omg thank you i felt so alone:( i remember always not liking the ideas, but never to this extent with intrusive thoughts and ruminating.
I don't want to give you reassurance but before I got into this terrible cycle of doubt, fear amd compulsion, I used to get fleeting thoughts about not being 100% straight without really being bothered by it. Sexuality is fluid and I know a lot of girls in happy straight relationships who find themselves attracted on some level to females (e.g. celebrity girl crushes or admiring a teacher at.). It could mean that they are not 100% straight or it could mean nothing at all, I think it depends on how you want to view it and how you want to live your life. The difference is that now my mind seems not to be able anymore to accept ambivalence anymore and urges me to be 100% sure that I will never ever fall in love with a woman and that if I cannot be totally sure about that then I have to blow up my relationship with my boyfriend with whom I have been with for over a decade. It really sucks, but I guess all we can do is embrace the uncertainty and go on with what makes us happy 💗
thank you so much for your response! i relate to needing to be 100% sure ugh . thank you for saying that, i hadn’t really heard that before but that makes sense and it helped me feel much better :)
hi!! i had these sort of thoughts when i was around 12 and i even thought i liked a girl but in reality it was just a friend crush! i even told her that i ‘liked’ her but that same day i called things off because i didn’t feel the same way that i felt about boys. like i just ddint see myself being romantically/sexually involved w a girl like i would w a guy. before and after all my crushes had been boys and well:// thanks to that event i had when i was younger it triggered my hocd but i’m feeling a whole lot better:) it was just curiosity and i ddint like the experience
my ocd has been really convincing lately. it’s convincing me that i’m just questioning my sexuality and that i’m bi and just don’t know it yet. i can’t help but think “what if these thoughts and feelings are real” i’m so lost i just feel like all of this has changed who i was. the worst part is that i barely have a reaction to these thoughts so it’s hard for me to tell if it’s ocd or not. how do i know if it’s ocd or i’m just questioning my sexuality??
i keep seeing people on here saying they never questioned their sexuality before and it makes me sick because i have and this is further proof that i am in denial. i questioned it though not because i liked a girl, but because i fit a lot of those stereotypes and started believing tiktoks saying stuff like "if you do this you're bi" or "if you like this you're bi" and some of them applied that's why i thought i was bi, but even then i didn't fantasize about girls and didn't feel like i was truly bi. but this makes me sick to the stomach. this doesn't feel like hocd anymore, it just feels like i am struggling with my sexuality and i hate it. i just please i don't want to like girls or be with girls please :(
For as long as i can remember i have always been boy crazy. I have always had crushes on men, had sexual interactions with them, etc. I’ve never thought about a woman in that way. I remember around 2021 I had a “what if I were gay?” thought but after around a week it went away. Now the thought is back but 100x worse. Mid December 2023 i suddenly got the thoughts again. I can’t really pinpoint what triggered it, but it may have been the TV show I was watching. In the show a woman around her 30’s dated men and even married one but then all the sudden ended up marrying a woman later on. I starting to think “what if that happens to me?” I couldn’t fall asleep for days and would cry throughout the day. I eventually told my mom about this as I kept having anxiety attacks and she said well if you don’t only like men then that’s ok. But the thing is that I want to like men. I’ve always imagined my life with a husband and kids. I don’t understand how something like this could happen basically overnight. I used started therapy for my anxiety but how do I bring this topic up? Does anyone who has soocd/hocd think this sounds like ocd or could I really just be in denial. My days now consist of these persistent thoughts. I’m always on here or reddit/quora looking up my symptoms to see if anyone else feels the same. i don’t wanna feel like this anymore. i wanna go back to november when i didn’t have these thoughts. I’m still having the thoughts about a month later but the anxiety isn’t as bad which is making me feel worse. i feel like i should be more anxious considering i want to be straight. this isn’t me.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond