hey guys, not really ocd related but i need some advice :/ so since my ocd started this summer i kinda stopped talking to ppl and making plans. and during the summer it was ok because i was away so it made sense. but since i jane back in september, i still haven’t really talked to people and made plans. especially with my best friend. i’m not mad at her or anything, but it’s a mix of being introverted, anxious, and she recently came out as bi, so being around her triggers me when she talks about it. about a month ago she confronted me abt it and said she was upset that i wasn’t making an effort to be her friend anymore, and so then i hung out w her that day. but i haven’t rly talked to her since. it’s been a month since i saw her last, and more since i last texted her. i feel so bad about it. i want to talk to her again. and her birthday is at the end of the month so i want to be able to talk to her then. ig i’m not sure how to go about reconnecting since it’s been so long. if y’all have any tips that would be greatly appreciated.

First off - I’m sorry, I post here a lot. My thoughts are going to be scattered because I have the adhd/ocd/executive dysfunction wombo combo. Im so embarrassed I am THIS neurodivergent. I swear my brain couldn’t pick one struggle and settle with it. I’m not making these diagnoses quirky personality traits by any means, in fact, in this post im venting about how exhausting and embarassed I am living with a brain like this on the daily. I need to hear someone’s advice please. I love hearing everyone’s advice on posts because it’s so useful, and brings me back down to reality. Everyone on here gives advice so tastefully in a way where it doesn’t feed into the self reassurance compulsion, but it’s also been thorough and constructive enough where it’s reminded me to ground myself in a healthy way. I love seeing others helping others, it soothes me. This community has been so kind, and I’m so happy I found it. I wish I could ask more, but I have so many questions I think it’d drive everyone here crazy lol. I am doing erp therapy now, and it’s been teaching me so many amazing techniques. I’ve been making progress. However, I sometimes have my moments of vunerablity. I’ve been experiencing this especially now more than ever because I am going through a breakup. He did it through text after nearly 9 months together. I’d do anything for him and love him through anything, and he broke my heart when I least expected it. I’d make his bed for him multiple times, but I haven’t done that for myself in years. I’d sit with him for hours to watch and do anything he likes, but he’d never do the same and I’d never do the same for me. I’m also at fault because I was too scared to speak up so I let a lot of disrespect slide. Why did my ocd do that? Why does ocd make me people please even when I don’t want to? Why does OCD make me care so much about things that will never effect me (like wanting validation from a random person on the street and hoping they’ll think I’m pretty enough to look at), but then when it comes to my future or positive wellbeing (like focusing on college/doing well in classes/personal hygiene/health), forces me to not care/neglect myself and those needs? I don’t understand it. Ocd makes me think everything’s a setup or a trap. I can never believe that I am fine right where I want to be. Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I even think this much? I care and feel so deeply but it becomes unhealthy so fast because ocd makes me fixate and I stay there for a while. For some reason I let this breakup define my self worth. I let it topple into the ocd fear that I will never make it in life - that I won’t be successful, I’ll never get the career I want, the love I want, or the life I want. My OCD’s version of “logic” isn’t even logical. Yes, I understand how the breakup means feelings of low self worth which will then topple into feeling bad about other things. But why has my brain been wired to think this way? Why does it seem so easy for everyone else to function normally with life but not me? Honestly this is the first time in my life where I’m dedicated to focusing on myself and learning more about myself instead of others in my life and it’s a very odd and bizarre feeling. I’m excited of course, but I’m also scared. My ocd makes me ruminate like “what if I will never make the most of this life I’ve been given”, “what if I truly have no worth and the most I will ever be in other people’s lives is a background character”, “why do I care if I’m a background character or not? I should feel guilty and ignorant for assuming everyone will automatically like me”, “are people lying to me when they call me pretty, smart or kind?”, “I need to look and sound perfect in both pictures, videos and in real life. I will never be satisfied for accepting who I am now”, and a bunch of other annoying questions. But sometimes it’s like I just can’t take the reality for what it is but at the same time, but I also acknowledge that I know this is ocd talking. This is so, so difficult. Do I make any sense with what I’m saying? Can anyone help?

i’ve been seeing the same therapist for over two years now. she does not specialize in ocd and i often find myself too afraid to talk about it with her. it’s not necessarily her fault, but i feel like ive reached a point with her where she feels more like a friend than a therapist. i know that isn’t good and i should not feel that way. she is a very very kind person but i also feel like she doesn’t fully listen to me sometimes. we talk more about our day to day lives with one another rather than anxiety and worries at this point and i feel like i can’t suddenly reverse it? also, i’ve expressed certain thoughts with her that she has laughed at or has not taken very seriously. this has made me really upset in the past and makes me feel awkward and not listened to. i’ve mentioned these moments to friends and they think i should get a new therapist, but i feel so terrible because i am so used to her and i do like her as a person. i don’t really feel like ive been benefiting from therapy with her lately. again, we don’t really talk about ocd or anxiety which are my main issues. i want an ocd therapist so i can actually seek help but i can’t find one in person. i’ve considered doing it through this app but im not a big fan of online therapy as i find it uncomfortable and awkward. i’m willing to try tho. anyone have tips on how to “end things” with my therapist? i’d rather not, but i know i need to prioritize my mental health over making her feel bad. and if anything, im sure she’d understand. i just feel bad

i feel the need to say sorry because i’m posting yet again. i’m having a REALLY DIFFICULT episode of ocd that i haven’t had for a few months now. i experience contamination ocd everyday and have constant anxiety attacks, however because that’s so normal to me and doesn’t affect anyone but myself, it doesn’t affect me in the same way harm ocd does. i haven’t had to deal with really bad harm ocd thoughts for a good bit now so i’m struggling so bad right now. if anyone has seen my previous posts (which i’m sure you have), this came about over a small change that happened a couple weeks ago. it’s now blossoming into a full episode. it’s making me feel paralyzed and not want to do anything, but i know in the past i had to force myself to distract myself by actually doing things. i’m supposed to hang out with my friend tomorrow, but i’m so close to cancelling because i feel like i can’t do it. my physical symptoms are also worse than what i feel like i’m used to and it’s terrifying me into thinking i’m gonna get sick. i just don’t know how to get through it. it feels like impending doom and constant panic. i just want to feel like myself again and happy