- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I would say keep the baby and fight through it. Don’t let OCD ruin your life or your goals. You’ve made it this far
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- 4y
Hey girl. I am 14 weeks pregnant and also struggle with pocd/harm ocd. I also have a 4 year old daughter who the pocd stems from. It is very very hard and I still have not fully accepted I am pregnant and I have many doubts about how I will act when the baby is born and going to my OB makes me very scared as well. My pocd started right when I got pregnant, I’m guess the hormones are causing my ocd to be so so much worse. I’m on Prozac 20mg and buspar for anxiety. I’m seeing TWO therapists. Trust me. I am in the SAME boat as you. It’s so fucking hard. I can barely manage taking care of my daughter that I already have, let alone a new born who relies on me for everything. Trust me I’m terrified to my core but I love my kids and we have to be strong. If you ever need to talk message me. I suffer every day trust me.
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- 4y
Thank you for this. I wish there was a way to PM here. Idk I think I’m strong. I try to keep my faith and push through but I just don’t know. This would be my 1st child if I decide to continue. I seriously feel like at this point I need to listen to my heart and not go through with it. I know these are thoughts but they feel so real and at times tell me otherwise. That’s my fear that I decide to keep and the thoughts will get worse and I won’t be able to function or care for a child. I’ve told my bf my fears , while he tried to understand since he can’t fully make sense of it, he thinks if I have a baby, I’ll just get over it. I know that’s not the case. It’s hard because I also don’t feel any positive emotions towards the pregnancy and he sees it as a for sure thing. I get down on myself for even putting myself through this.
- Date posted
- 4y
I am a mom of a 7 month old baby and have struggled with POCD. It’s not easy hun. I see a counselor. I talk to her once a week mostly unless something gets in the way. I avoided giving him a bath sometimes now I take a bath with him almost everyday. Diapers weren’t easy I would quickly try to put them on sometimes. Looking at him was and is still hard sometimes. I wanted to have kids when I was a young teen growing up into adult hood (I was an adult the last time I felt I wanted to have a baby with someone) at least I believe so I still try to check these kind of things out like how old I was when things happened or when I felt certain ways anyways getting off track here. It’s possible hun if you want to try. It’s definitely a lot to think about. Idk how you feel hun but I want to say I wanted my baby. I feared losing him or being reported or people thinking I’m not fit to take care of him once I open up to certain people about what goes on with me. It’s hard but I haven’t gave up yet and I haven’t been planning on it. Do what you feel is best hun. I wish you and the baby the best and hope whatever happens you guys can live happy lives. There will be good times and bad times. I had some great times and I had some terrible times.
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- 4y
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I didn’t bother or haven’t bothered to share the ultrasound pic to my bf because I don’t want him to get attached. I feel like I can’t even talk to him honestly about terminating because he doesn’t agree with it and we’ve been through it before. I feel sad for him and for me in general. I feel like if I maybe had a maternal instinct right now then I would be more inclined to carry on with it but because I don’t it causes me more doubts and worries about the future. I feel as if my heart tells me I know what to do...which is to terminate but a very very small part tells me “ what if you don’t “ but then my thoughts tell me “ you can’t live with those thoughts and uncertainties not with a child in your life” I pray to God he shows me the way. 🙏🙏😞😞😞😞
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- 4y
@Jojo Hun I still struggle with bonding with my son. I feel like I’m supposed to be utterly in love and in Awh but in all reality I spend a lot of time not feeling like that. I broke down once crying I couldn’t look at him. This was shortly after I had him. I felt like I didn’t want him And I just cried because I mean to feel that way about your own son is terrible.. for him and it can be for me. It’s hard when you think and feel like you’re supposed to feel one way but it’s not exactly there. But I didn’t want to give up. And I do what I can so he feels loved and hopefully he won’t know for awhile about what I go through. But sometimes I think about the fact I’ve been doing this for 7 months and I got through it. It’s possible hard but possible but don’t feel obligated to keep the baby if you truly feel you can’t do it and maybe try being open with your partner. It might be hard but it’s important and I hope you find a way to get through this. I personally support whatever decision you feel you should make. But just know this is possible hun and you can do it.
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- 4y
@ashleyboo Thank you. I appreciate the support esp coming from a woman . 💛💛
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- 4y
@Jojo You’re welcome 😊
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- 4y
Also he is my first son. He was my first pregnancy and only so far.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
At this point I think I’m just tired. Took me a massive amount of strength to even type this. I’ve never had it this bad with anxiety depression and OCD. Firstly, how do you guys handle the trauma that comes with OCD. I recently realized Ive traumatized by own mind. I think this contributes to depression. Also, the thoughts frequency have gotten so high. It just literally jams its self in my brain. Before, I had some sort of control (at least a grip) but this days it’s so hard to try to get a grip. The unwanted feelings too? Omg, reactions that I literally can’t stand plagues me. My mind turns almost everything sexual. It’s crazy 🙃 Then the anxietyyyyyy! Wheew. I’m like a walking anxiety attack, my heart is always beating fast and it’s so painful. Working is so hard because I can’t get a grip, I feel so broken and I don’t think anyone can relate to this. I don’t know what I can do to help. Then the pressure in my head (that causes headache sometimes), sometimes I genuinely think I have a tumor! I’m pregnant so that makes it sadder, makes me wonder what kind of mother this beautiful soul is coming out here to meet. I don’t want to be a sad mother, and I cry more when I realize my child can feel what I feel rn in my belly😔. Another thing, the moment I don’t wanna do something, doesn’t even have to be anything bad. That’s when it feels my mind wants to force me to do it. It’s a whole lot and I’m just holding on to Jesus to help me out. At least he’s here so that’s comforting.
- Date posted
- 12w
So I’ve just found out I’m pregnant and I’m freaking out rn I’ve been getting thoughts like “I’ll be a bad mum” and overthinking everything & my OCD is convincing me that I’ll act on my thoughts because of my hormones and stuff. I’ve also got a fear of being sick & I’m stressing over that too. Anyone else who has harm OCD pregnant or a Mum can give me some advice pls😭
- Date posted
- 12w
TW- POCD people only please. Am I a criminal hiding behind a diagnosis? I woke up in the middle of the night breathing and I was having groinals because she laying across me. My mind told me I had already hurt her so might as well do something else. I then was like well I have nothing to lose and I had to think of what to do. The only thing I could think to do was move my elbow towards her groin area to cause a feeling. Well I did that and my elbow touched her groin and caused an unwanted feeling. I then immediately asked my child to move. After that, I went back to sleep but I believe in a state of shock as to what happened. I woke up panicking completely thinking I have done ruined my life. I was going to prison and would lose my child. Since then, I haven't stopped ruminating. I have had days where I feel okay, but then there are days where I can't stop crying. Thinking I don't deserve my child, and I deserve to be in the ground. I was on a new medication that was causing me to spiral and giving me insomnia during this time. I wasn't getting much sleep at all. Since then, I've slept on the floor, and I eventually got my child to sleep in their own bed to avoid this happening again. I got off the medication and feel so much better with my thoughts and sleeping so much better. My daughter tells me how wonderful I am often, but I don't feel that I even deserve to celebrate Mother's Day this year. I'm not a good mom. I was four months ago before I spiraled. What's wrong with me? (edited)
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