- Username
- BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 4y ago
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- Username
- sfgal88sfgal88
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Well first, definitely stop researching. And second, the past is just that. Past. No amount of parsing or ruminating can change it and no amount of evidence-seeking will leave you sure enough. So give yourself permission to stop trying to move on; move forward instead. The difference is in the power you allow mistakes to have on your life. It’s ok to not be ok. And I can say confidently that all themes look easier from the outside, but honestly, they all freaking suck =)
- Username
- BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I never wanted these mistakes to have power. Most of them were when I was in my teen years. I'm just so disgusted with the mistakes mainly. I don't want to give them power, I don't want to think about them, and I just want to accept that like all human beings everyone makes mistakes and no one is freaking perfect. I guess it's so hard to accept self forgiveness because of how different I am today compared to before. I also feel like uncertainty will mean only the worst things will happen to me and I'm the worst person ever. Fuck, I just don't know
- Username
- sfgal88sfgal88
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 Of course you don’t want to think about them. But it’s a core principle that the harder you fight to not think about it, the more you will. Having power over your past doesn’t mean just accepting your imperfections. OCD is fundamentally opposed to acceptance. Believe me, if it was that easy, we’d all have been cured by now. But instead, you have power over the thoughts by deciding not to do anything with them. Don’t try to block them out, don’t try to rationalize, and don’t mull them over. Just let them sit there. They will go away eventually. I know it sounds like the hardest thing in the world, and it’s definitely close, but you can do it.
- Username
- BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@sfgal88 What am I going to do? How long will this take? Are the thoughts really that serious? Am I supposed to just sit there and let the thoughts get to me even if I don't want them to? Is this what ERP is? Why me? I hate that we all have to go through this. I really do. It's so unfair
- Username
- BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I didn't think of it until now, but I think I also have a really bad case of unhealthy perfectionism. I'm so scared of doing anything that will cause a mistake because of the mistakes I'm recently ruminating over. I'm always uncertain about these mistakes but I want to be certain. Even when I feel like I am I'm not
- Username
- sfgal88sfgal88
- Date posted
- 4y ago
It’s hellish. And unfair. Don’t focus on how long it will take. Just hold onto hope that it won’t always be this way. ERP is sitting with the discomfort and being ok. You can ignore the thoughts without trying to smother them. Say to yourself, “Ok, my brain is thinking about it. It’ll pass. And I’ll be ok still.” Find other things to think about, things that ground you. I promise you, the harder you try not to think them the stronger they get. And if you dive into the thoughts, you’ll ruminate endlessly to try and get them sorted. You’ll never feel sure enough, but that’s just the bad wiring we all live with. It’s hard, but you CAN do this.
- Username
- BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 4y ago
This is so difficult, it really is. There's different triggers that are around and some are stronger than others, but at the end of the day they feel so damn real. It feels like the second I think about it it's going to happen and I'm going to be punished for something. That's why the thoughts never fully go away. But maybe you're right I'm always thinking the thoughts and even if they really make me uncomfortable I do end up being okay. Maybe I have to keep this in mind or something
- Username
- HeelloHeello
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I am on the same
Related posts
- Username
- Magzzz
- Date posted
- 3y ago
How can I accept uncertainty about a real event that my ocd is latching onto (past mistake)? How can I do erp for it and does anyone have any tips that could possibly help me out? It’s about a mistake I made a long time ago, I think a few years ago, that is haunting me and I feel like it’s so bad that no one could possibly understand and there’s no way I could get better. If anyone has overcome this, do you have any advice that I could use to possibly heal from this or maybe learn something from it? I would truly appreciate it
- Username
- Magzzz
- Date posted
- 3y ago
For the longest time I let go of my past mistakes and it didn’t bother me for a while and then all of a sudden it’s like my mind won’t shut up about it and I feel an intense amount of guilt again . Talked to my mom about it a long time ago and also my first therapist (haven’t talked to my current one about it yet) and I asked my mom today if anything that I brought up about my past that I should worry about and she pretty much gave me a lecture that I need to let it go and stop obsessing over it which is easier said than done when you have ocd but hey I can’t expect her to completely understand. I just don’t understand why one day I don’t think about it one bit and then the next I’m having a panic attack and can’t forgive myself because of my past. It’s so frustrating. Any advice? Anyone gone through Real Event Ocd and gotten through it?
- Username
- 123g
- Date posted
- 34w ago
Don’t Even Know if It’s OCD or not Anymore
I can’t even tell if my intrusive thoughts are real or not. Sometimes I feel like I want the thoughts or am just in denial and some of the actions I’ve done in my past, I can’t forgive myself for. I have Real Event OCD and I can’t forgive myself for my mistakes. I hate myself so much. I hate feeling like such a bad person all the time. My themes have also continuously switched and it feels like I have a new theme every few months. I’m so done with this and I don’t know what to do.
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