So pedophile OCD... Im too ashamed to admit it to anyone. So I guess even this is a big step. But I do get intrusive sexual thoughts about kids. When I have been around kids I get thoughts like "what if actually did anything inappropriate". And if Im being sexual intrusive thoughts about pedophilia blasts me. So I stop and then I think what if this means I actually like kids. But what Ive been wondering, and its not meant to be reassurance seeking. I guess there isnt actually anything wrong with being a pedophile (they cant help it) as long as they never act on it. But isnt having thoughts about touching kids inappropriately, pedophilic in itself? Or is it literally just the definition of OCD? I kind of think that some thoughts shouldnt be possible to think unless its something to it.

So, how do you suggest those working through this theme proceed and "kick it" so to speak?

Thank you so much for this indepth reply. I do have other OCD themes that are way worse and coupled with experienced trauma. These I spend the most time on and have realizied "its OCD" and that ERP is the only way. Breaking the avoidance habit is hell but necessary. But with this, even though less of a problem (the other stuff have ruined my life completely) seems so easy to just avoids. I dont have to have sex. I dont have to be around my friends with kids. And a part of me feels like I cant risk this because it will harm others. Kind of like not cooking for others cause what if I accidentally kill them. While exposures where I cook for myself or stand close to traintracks is okay because even if its scary as hell... im not hurting everyone else. Plus even if its shameful to have OCD about all the other stuff, I guess other people could tolerate me for that. But I dont think my friend would tolerate me for having obsessive thoughts about HER child which makes me think I should just leave them alone. Dont know if this makes sense?

Yeah! I mean I can see its ridiculous when you write it. But when I think it of myself Im worried I should stop visiting my friend because what if im accidentaly insppropriate towards her child. And actually I should not be friensds wtih parents alltogether cause im a disgusting person. And I should never get my own children!

@asdfghj YESSS YESS I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOUUU I FEEL THE SAME WAY

@anonynon And its kind of an easy thing to avoid... But I dont want that! So glad im starting up with an OCD specialist soon. This is all so ridiculous... but ... its just that: WHAT IF!!! 🤢🙊

I found an article on NOCDs website about the difference and it said pedophiles also feel intense shame. And that people with pedophile ocd could get groinal responses to thinking of it that started more worry and compulsing.

@asdfghj You're right about this, most pedophiles are ashamed, and MV01 isn't quite fully understanding the issue. Shame is a social emotion, morals come from society and differ between societies. When you were a baby you weren't embarassed about crapping yourself in front of company, you grew up and learned what isn't considered acceptable, and those became your morals. To feel shame about something is to see yourself negatively through society's eyes. Most paedophiles are ashamed about it because of what society says *and* their own morals- they see it as wrong, because those are one and the same thing. Paedophiles who *didn't* internalise the moral messages of society about paedopilia being unacceptable (due to e.g. having the attraction since a young age, or not ever hearing much about it or being told about it, or being abused or exposed to it since childhood and thus it's normalised), may feel *stigmatised* by society (and be potentially angry or upset about this), but do not feel ashamed. Those are generally the ones who act on it, as they may not see it as wrong. So yeah, paedophiles are human too, they can often see their preferences as wrong in the eyes of society and themselves, and so they're ashamed. But as MV01 said, all paedophiles find them pleasurable and know this fact- not from anxiously checking their responses or rifling through their memories or analysing why they think about it. They know very, very well that they choose to think about it because they enjoy it, even if that then triggers shame. They're tormented in a very different way to someone with POCD. Their dilemma is the cognitive dissonance between the unquestionable fact that they like it and the fact that they see it as wrong, plus whatever other messages they've internalised from society about pedophiles being subhuman by their very existence. The POCD struggle is a struggle with facts and doubts.

@Scoggy This was incredibly helpful and insightful. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.