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- 4y
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- 4y
Heyo! OCD attacks our morals, and what we hold highest. No wonder this is the subset of OCD youâre experiencing. Try some therapy techniques- ERP first! ACT and other CBT/DBT skills can work wonders. Tell your girlfriend what youâre going through- and have a hopeful attitude. Treat OCD like a game.
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- 4y
I see you on here everyday crying for help trying to make sense of your thoughts, it's not helping you mate. Best thing you can do is ring your GP and be a 100% honest with what you're experiencing, they'll refer you to an appropriate therapist/centre and you can get some help. It's not gonna be easy for you, but this fear will pass and is only temporary, you just need the appropriate and professional tools to get over it.
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- 4y
Its almost like i want it but i dont if that makes sense đ. I actually have a gp appointment tomorrow finally
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- 4y
Yeah man, same boat. Hope that it is just OCD, but it makes me seriously depressed. Feels so real.
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@nGfloat I have negative feelings towards women aswel it kills me đ
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I'm in the same spot as you lads although it's been getting alot better, things are gonna be alright. From my experience OCD isn't something which gets better on its own so best of luck to you both getting it sorted đ
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- 4y
Its made me have negative feelings towards my gf to. Also i stay stuff in my head constantly its so confusing
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- 4y
Hey Brother, it gets better. I promise! It doesnât go on forever, but it weâll never get better if you donât work with a professional on HOCD. I havenât even been in ERP for a month, and I have already seen tremendous improvements! My self esteem is higher than itâs been at almost any other point in my life. I donât compare myself to other men or see any women as out of my league. I donât judge other people or put them on pedestals. I need to put a lot of work into other areas of my mental health as well, but I had a feeling that HOCD would be a great place to start and it was just that and more! It literally changed my life. Seriously bro I know it sounds like Iâm trying to sell you on it but I love you brother and I know the hell that youâre in mentally. Chances are itâs effecting you in many more ways than you know of. Trust me brother I was in HELL. You can and WILL overcome this, but the ERP is the only way. I wish you well my brother.
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also its made me have negative feelings and thoughts towards women that ive never had before. Its horrible đ„
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Did you find guys attractive ?
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- 4y
It just seems to real and like i know im gay and just in denial. I never pictured my life with a man its just not me đ
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- 4y
I had those same negative thoughts about women too. I felt they all hated me because my HOCD made me put a sexual framework on EVERY interaction. I thought I was getting rejected sexually at times I wasnât because thatâs just how deep the OCD goes. Trust me brother I know youâre in hell. It gets better but I believe the ERP is the only way. I promise one day youâll be able to look back on this and laugh about it. Much love.
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My negative thoughts are towards there bits etc and sometimes i go eww when i see a woman. It breaks my heart đ
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I had that too
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I have men on my mind and get images most of the day/night and and i comment on them. I just cant stop my brain đ
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Mate i need your help đ
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@Ihateocd83 I dealt with that too bro. Thatâs the HOCD.
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@VictoriousOverHOCD Feels like denial mate đ
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@VictoriousOverHOCD I find it kind of puts words in my mouth and twists my words. Like i will get a boyfreind etc đ
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@VictoriousOverHOCD And my minds like how can you not be gay when your having these thoughts đ
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- 4y
@Ihateocd83 You need to get off this app seeking reassurance, you're just winding yourself up. When OCD hits it's better to do nothing.
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@ween Its constant tho đ
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@VictoriousOverHOCD Mate i need your help đđ
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Really? its so cruel isnt itđ
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OCD is cruel, my friend
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I agree with ween. The reassurance feeds the HOCD. Have you started working with a therapist. I found mine through HOCD and it literally saved me.
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I have started cbt and a little exposure. Im on medication. Sometimes it feels like i give in and accept and it just feels like im gay đ
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Whats that mate?. Im sorry for going on and posting all the time i just want this gone
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@Bryan Letâs try not to get a pandemic virus, shall we? It could be exposed to others through yourself.
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@Bryan At least thereâs a cure to OCD - ERP, and none for covid.
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@Bryan My guy, you deserve to live. I know itâs a struggle, but you are a wonderful human being who is being tortured right now but there is light. Your kids need a father and your wife needs a husband. Also, I am a COVID-19 researcher and, although this is certainly a nasty virus, it probably wonât kill you. It is way more likely to seriously maime you/give you secondary autoimmune complications that would enhance your current suffering. Youâve got this. Take it one day at a time. You can be who you want to be, even if the OCD feeds you lies at the moment.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I feel so much for people, especially my parents, brother, and nana right now. I saw a few people I know from college and high school whose mom or dad passed away at a young age and I donât know what to do about it but worry for mine who are having a hard time emotionally and mentally right now. My mom took a new job because she was previously overworked. Sheâs in her mid-fifties and her friends are all retired and have nice homes. She traded her old him for a smaller home that she hates. Itâs required for her at her new job to complete a license exam and pass but it looks like such a hard exam and sheâs so overwhelmed and emotionally drained and canât stop comparing herself to her friends. I canât even come up with anything positive to say to her. She feels like she shouldnât have this much stress at this point in her life. My dad is constantly thinking about politics and itâs frustrating because itâs so toxic to even think like this but heâs stubborn and keeps thinking and talking about it. Heâs currently an independent contractor and is having a hard time finding a job and finding clients, so heâs stressed about not bringing any income in. My brother and I are also stressed because we are overworked at our jobs and have been applying for new jobs for over a year and canât get any. I havenât had the best experience with my previous jobs because my bosses have been just awful in the past while I worked so hard and over 10 hours a day. My nana has been so lonely for so many years and finally has her friend who is now living close to her. After a month of her friend living with her, her friend fell and broke her hip. I feel so bad for both of them and I just feel like we all canât win or catch a break. I feel like thereâs more bad than good in this world and if there is a God, why would he make it so difficult for us to live in this world. Itâs complete torture. Iâm seriously so mad at God and why he/she would let this happen.
- Date posted
- 20w
since february i have "POcd". Initial symptoms were thoughts, but then I did a testing compulsion during an intimate time, and I spiraled ever since. I struggle with addiction to smut. I'm cutting that out, but I feel as if it is too late. Ive never experienced this much mental, and emotional anguish in my life. On my time on this application I have given advice to others, and helped around, but I wonder if that even applies to me. Millions of times I wish I could turn back time and be more careful. I want to prevent many things, including what led me to spiral into OCD in the first place. I'm surely having an OCD episode. I have gotten a diagnosis, but I'm still not sure. I feel evil, cause unlike many here, I tested on my body sensations and it backfired (twice) I know I'm not supposed to figure out why that is the case, but now I have to live with it for the rest of my life even if its something I don't desire. This is disgusting for me, it is abhorrent. I could've never seen this coming. Day by day I've become more fearful of living with this, "OCD". I was a normal person before this, I knew what I was attracted to, I know my preferences, so why did this come about? This is singlehandedly the most painful thing that has happened to me and I have nobody but myself to blame. I am scared of death but I also would'nt mind sleeping for years on end. My parents and brother were understanding of my situation, but I failed them regardless. I don't want them to see me this way, nor do I want them to learn more of my predicament. I'm cooked. I know it, Fin, thats all folks. I'm only 20 and I already have other diagnosed mental illness so I recklessly brought upon myself another one. Its agonizing to live through, I wish this on nobody, not even my worst enemy. I can't even identify myself at this point. Its tearing me apart.
- Date posted
- 16w
First I want to start off with, as a kid, my brother touched me inappropriately, I watched him do the same with my cousin, than later on I did the same to my cousin. I feel great shame for it and I have yet to forgive myself. Now, since than 10 years later, I have always loved women, fantasized about women, constantly prayed to have one and do things to be with one 1 day. I struggled with porn a lot as a kid because I was shown it at such a young age. I remember first watching lesbian porn, than moving to guy and girl, than countdowns, etc. I was so hooked that it took an identity crisis to end this porn addiction. (I have only been sober for 3 weeks.) Now I only mention this because I think my porn addiction somewhat ruined me, same way as what I did in the past did. A year ago, I started to talk to a childhood crush I had, and things felt so great. We started to get along but I knew all I wanted to do was have sex and move on as wrong as that is. I ended up falling in love with her and asked her to be my girl. 9 months in, we were having constant arguments and she had this problem where she couldnât give me a break. We were with each other 24/7 and it felt like dealing with a sister at some point. I remember talking to my friends and asking them what would they do and they always advised me to leave but I was not willing to because I knew I loved her and the way I was feeling was temporary and couples argue. Couple weeks in, I started to have these thoughts that we werenât going to work out and that I no longer found her attractive. I kinda ignored them because it simply wasnât true, I still found her attractive and would get hard ons for her yet, I still had this mindset that, âOh, thereâs other hotter girlsâ and, âYour ex looked so much better.â and I couldnât stop these thoughts. One day I randomly woke up and remembered what I did as a kid, my whole world felt like it flipped. The thoughts were now, âwhat if you donât like her because youâre secretly gay?â. I first laughed at the thought because of how ridiculous it sounded, but than it just kept going. Two weeks from a cycle of unwanted thoughts (1st stage of my ocd), I finally got over the thought with simple toughness and determination, I did lots of research on what was going on with me and went with the, âthoughts are just thoughtsâ method. I was doing well until we watch a netflix documentary âAmerican Murder: Gabby Petitoâ and all of a sudden my mind began to think, âWhat if Iâm secretly a psychopath and want to kill my gf?â. For about a week straight, Itâs all I was able to think about. It scared me so much and I didnât know what to do. I started to get urges to KILL my gf. I didnât know what to do so I left the room and crawled up in a ball, crying to god asking for help.These thoughts went away but were quickly replaced by, âYou want to kill your gf because youâre just gayâ. This sent me into such great panic, I couldnât eat for days and couldnât feel anything but anxiety. Days went by and I finally went to a doctor, at first I started to feel better as If I was getting help and things were going to be okay. The thoughts went away again as I began to start doing more things and get out of my room (head). I felt like I was back again, I was able to love my gf, I started to go to church, I felt that god was real and than boom. Here I am again and this time things have gotten really bad. I canât stop âcheckingâ. As soon as I wake up I check if my gf is âgoodâ enough for me. I check my past and see if I have ever done anything that show signs of being gay. I check out other girls and guys to see whether or not I like one or the other. Even when I accepted the possibility that maybe I am just gay, my mind will fight me and tell me that Iâm more than just gay. Truth is, I donât know anymore. Iâve always loved girls and my gf. I donât know if this is OCD anymore but I wish for my old life again. Iâve always been so proud of my sexuality and loved everything about it. I never been homophobic but gay stuff does make me uncomfortable. Each day feels like I lost another part of me. I feel like I canât live like this anymore. I lost all my belief in god, my morals and value feel so weak, and my life is no longer a fun enjoyable thing to look forward to. I need help.
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