- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah I would just second that you’re not alone- I have experienced the same thing in my past relationship. I think it’s been helpful to lean into other sources of support- friends, family, therapist, online community. For me it’s also been helpful to remember that no one can save me from my emotions. It feels unbearable to hold them on my own sometimes but journaling has been really helpful for dealing with that when it arises!
- Date posted
- 4y
You’re definitely not alone here
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you both. My partner broke up with me last night and I just discovered rcod today. I’m deeply pained that I didn’t know that there was an explanation and treatment for what I had been feeling or I could have done something to change the situation sooner. I was constantly questioning myself. In a low place right now. But feeling excited to get to know myself better and find support and treatment.
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m so sorry to hear that, the important things is now you know and you can take back your life. It’s never too late for that. I’m sure you’re doing the best you can and that’s all anyone can really ask for. You will get through this, I believe in you (:
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes, my partner recently broke up with me as well. I had just been diagnosed but I feel like for the 2.5 years we were together, there was a third person in our relationship- my OCD. I have found it really helpful to journal about what I’m learning, who I am as a person (since OCD brings up so many thoughts and feelings that make me question who I am). I am also writing a letter to her to explain more about what OCD is so she can also have some clarity about what was going on in our relationship.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you both. It feels so good to know I’m not alone in this, finally! I feel it’s possible that my partner will be open to resuming our relationship now that I know what was going on and have tools to handle it. But I’m also aware that I neee to focus on doing this for myself first and foremost without setting myself up for disappointment.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Hey guys! My boyfriend has said recently that he doesn't know if he's strong enough to continue with our relationship because of my OCD. He wants to see me overcome my symptoms and learn to live a healthy life with OCD, but my anxieties and obsessions are starting to really affect his life. I understand his reasoning, it's hard to see someone you care about struggle with OCD, especially when it starts to affect you too. I'm asking for tips to deal with my compulsions in the relationship. I HAVE to know the answer to things and sometimes that leads into arguments because even with apologies and discussions I can't let things go, even if they genuinely don't matter or are miniscule issues we have. It's a healthy relationship otherwise but I feel horrible because it's impacting him so negatively, that's the absolute last thing I want to happen. I care for him deeply and he cares for me too, so I don't want my OCD to be a reason we break up but I fear it's headed in that direction. I'm starting therapy soon, but until then what are some things I can do to stop my ROCD from impacting him? I know sitting in the guilt and anxiety of not completing my obsessions will help, but I'm wondering if there are other things I can do to maybe remedy some of the damage already done.
- Date posted
- 23w
For those of you in relationships with ROCD, do your partners know of your diagnosis. I am new to treatment and new to this avenue of mental health. I am generally pretty open and honest with my partner about things but the dark side of my mind I keep hidden. I’m scared to tell him about this if I’m diagnosed. And I’m scared that if I’m diagnosed and something real does go south in the relationship then my diagnosis will be used against me.
- Date posted
- 23w
Posting here for the first time, please be gentle, not sure if this is applicable! I definitely struggle with reassurance-seeking especially when it comes to real events, but over time have found ways to self regulate and use self-guided therapy apps and worksheets to help fight any challenging thoughts as they come up throughout the day. There are a few times when I’m unable to do the work myself and don’t feel as emotionally strong, which I feel is reasonable considering how exhausting my symptoms can be (for clarification, I am diagnosed with anxiety but not OCD, although I fear all signs lead me here). Only on the extremely difficult days, I’ll ask my partner for reassurance (he is aware of my tendencies and is quite patient) but he has his own baggage, and having a partner asking for reassurance can be triggering for him, as he was accused of several negative things in his last relationship. He quickly gets overwhelmed with me and feels that I don’t trust him. He is convinced that is the motive of my reassurance seeking. Today in particular, I woke up from a nightmare that reminded me of a past event. After struggling with it myself all day I brought it up in the evening to try and get some help, and did bring it up three times after that. I am always soft and gentle when I ask for help, and even asked for a lighthearted “pinky promise”, which actually seemed to bother him. I understand that it’s not his position to emotionally support me whatsoever and that reassurance seeking can become harmful to the both of us, but for the one-off days where I am having a really difficult time, I feel extremely unsupported by him. For context, my partner has broken my trust before. My thoughts took off during that time. It’s been a few months since then, and me openly seeking reassurance from him is not a frequent occurrence, since I’ve started my self-help. I actually feel I’ve come a long way but I do have days like today that set me back. I love and trust him with all my heart, but man does my inner monologue make me work for it. I just don’t know how to get him to understand that it’s me having to work for it, not him. Unfortunately from the way he reacts, I’ve grown to feel unsupported by him, and am now rarely emotionally vulnerable with him. I am curious if there are any suggestions on helping him help me in a sense.. I don’t know how to get him to understand that it has nothing to do with a lack of trust. I have briefly opened up to him about my strong intrusive thoughts and figured it would help him understand a bit better but I don’t know what to do. I want to add: I have tried talking to him about how I felt unsupported. He just tells me he feels accused and would be supporting me at his own expense. He has even told me that I shouldn’t talk to him about these things, even though the thoughts I struggle with are directly related to events in our relationship. I really can’t seem to get through to him.
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