The more I come here, the more I realize that ocd is a scary, weird, f*ed up illness, so I don’t get how organized people claim to have ocd or think it’s a cute or funny quirk. If they only knew how miserable life can be sometimes when you have to deal with an inner voice who’s constantly trying to ruin everything, and constantly making you feel scared to even wake up in the morning or go to sleep at night..

It kinda mind boggling to me how OCD can even cause stuff to happen to us physically as well. And it all feeling real. It only reminds me how flawed our bodies really are. If people were to hear of our situations they'd call us names and choose to stay ignorant. People fear what they cannot understand. Before this I could have possible have been one of them, but here I am. OCD really goes for anybody. Does not matter what ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation you are. It is a twisted disorder that likes to make others lives harder. If I were to tell myself before this that this would happen, I would'nt believe it. I was convinced I am evil, I cried for weeks. I had to sleep in my parents bedroom for a period of time cause I couldn't face the darkness alone. This application helped me greatly during this, cause I learned just as much about OCD as I did about myself. At the same time I get saddened cause I see people going through the exact same, or much worse. If any who come across this post have any questions for me, u can feel free to do so

I'm sry if this may make people worry or feel uncomfortable in advance! Hello everyone as u can see I struggle with ocd and I HATE IT WITH MY LIFE , it started in 2020 covid obv contamination ocd started here , I used to carry alcohol everywhere and used to wash my hands so much that it bled ( had to wear gloves to cover it so friends or family won't see it ) and everything else started since then , harm ocd with myself or friends I couldn't hold a knife..it was really hard..and I have unwanted sexual thoughts ocd , I have panic attacks bc of this..I sometimes cannot look people into their eyes and its so random and so scary..thoughts about.. 🍇..whether it's me or I'm gonna harm someone else uk..I sometimes cannot function properly.. unfortunately friends don't understand it rather think it's about " perfectionism "..I wrote those thoughts and stuff in a journal in more details ofc and doodle ( I'm scared someone will find it ) I hate myself tbh and I don't think someone will read this... I suspect I have ADHD with all this but ocd is " ur faking it " even though lots of people have hinted about it , I thought I actually killed someone for 2 years a girl..until I realized what HOCD is , I thought I faked my ocd too in fact , I have perfectionism ocd too it's bad and I HATE PURE O it's so DRAINING uk.. also idk if this has caused a problem for anyone but if y'all know the Truman show ( basically if u don't know the main character is being filmed and his life is fake and he doesn't know it ) THAT MOVIE HAS HARMED ME SO BADLY FOR YEARS that until today I have to check in the bathroom if there are cameras cuz like ocd makes me think I'm living in a fake world , I used to think people around me , everyone was like a Ai model or smth.. everytime until today I have to clean the toilet seat bc it may be dirty..I have been taking up to 5 showers a day cuz maybe I'm dirty..that's it for today tysm if u read this till the end I'd like to know ur thoughts if u got tips or have similar experiences ! 🤗 U get a chocolate bar 🍫 bc u earned it bc ik how ocd is so frustrating ( I also noticed everyone who has ocd is so nice right 😆! )

I know that sounds a bit harsh, but people with OCD think very differently then everyone else and we do strange things. I used to think OCD was just that we overthink to much and have compulsions to fix it, but its kinda alot more than that i realise. Like peoples lives are legit debilitated from this thing. Thats serious and i dont think others realise that. Mabye im concerned too much idk.