The more I come here, the more I realize that ocd is a scary, weird, f*ed up illness, so I don’t get how organized people claim to have ocd or think it’s a cute or funny quirk. If they only knew how miserable life can be sometimes when you have to deal with an inner voice who’s constantly trying to ruin everything, and constantly making you feel scared to even wake up in the morning or go to sleep at night..

I started dealing with OCD when I became fixated on health issues, particularly the fear of contracting a life-threatening disease. If I experienced any kind of medical symptom, no matter how small, that even remotely hinted at something potentially fatal, it would drive me crazy, and I couldn’t stop obsessing over it. Then one day, I started having intrusive thoughts about accidentally hitting someone with my car, and I would end up driving in circles to check if I had. Eventually, I found myself overwhelmed by a flood of new obsessive thoughts and compulsions. One day, while I was at the park, a squirrel came near me, and for some reason, I felt like it attacked me. I Googled it and learned that squirrels could carry rabies, which spiraled me into a deep fear of rabies. I became consumed with the thought I received a bite from a squirrel, raccoon, or bat any time I’m in areas that trigger me. It started off only being inside then transferred to even being in my own home. This made me obsess over every physical sensation in my body, compulsively checking to make sure nothing was wrong. One compulsion that I hated the most would to be putting rubbing alcohol on me to make sure that I had no open wounds. Every day feels like I’m walking around in a fog of anxiety, constantly worrying that I won’t even make it to old age. Sometimes, it gets so overwhelming that I just want it all to end. It stresses me so bad at times to where my brain feels like I’ve been studying all day.

OCD is so much more than just being 'neat' or 'organized'—it’s relentless, exhausting, and often deeply misunderstood. The intrusive thoughts, the compulsions, the anxiety—it can feel like a never-ending cycle that others just don’t seem to get. Many of us have had experiences where even therapists didn’t fully grasp the depth of our struggles. I myself faced difficulty being misdiagnosed and my talk therapist not understanding the full extent of what I was going through until I found NOCD. So many prior therapists wrote off my symptoms as general anxiety, not realizing it was actually OCD all along. If you could sit down with a therapist who truly wanted to understand, what do you wish they knew about OCD?

OCD isn’t just about compulsions—it’s a mental battle that can be completely exhausting. The anxiety, doubt, and pressure to "get it right" can feel unbearable, especially when others don’t understand what’s happening beneath the surface. What’s the hardest part about living with OCD that others don’t see?