- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I have the exact same struggle. That’s how my OCD started, before I even know I had it. My boyfriend was well aware of the thoughts I was having about falling out of love and how devastating it was for me to think that way. It took lots of time but eventually, I learned ways of coping. I still have those thought but now I know that’s all they are... just thoughts. And knowing it’s just my annoying OCD mind that’s making me that way, it helps me cope with it. My boyfriend is now my fiancé and things are looking up. Don’t worry, it gets better.
- Date posted
- 6y
I get the same way. One thing I did that helped is when I was feeling particularly sane one day I wrote out an index card of what reality was: like that we are happy together, and yes he has faults but... so when you get one of those waves you can look at it. It especially helped me in a long distance relationship.
- Date posted
- 6y
I have real bad rocd--pretty much sabotaged my past two relationships--but for me it's very much linked to how well I sleep. If I don't sleep well the night before, I'm just not going to think rationally that day pretty much at all. Since I'm a chronic insomniac, I'm usually not doing well. But I feel well-rested today for the first time in forever and spent pretty much the whole day alone and actually enjoyed myself--who woulda thought? Seriously if you're not doing things your body and brain need then you are going to constantly feel like something is wrong with you, trust me. And your OCD feels real because it is! But that doesn't mean it always gets what it wants. Whoever you are, you have more power than you can imagine right now
- Date posted
- 6y
I just want to feel something other than guilt and anxiety
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
hi! I broke a short period of doing well without compulsions because I got triggered again. Before this, I had about two calmer days where I didn’t spiral so much, but now everything feels worse. I’m scared that I don’t love my boyfriend as much as I used to, or that this relationship is making me feel stuck or sad. He’s a wonderful person, and I hate thinking this way. I smelled a perfume that used to make me feel calm and in love, and now it just makes me question everything. I spent hours last night searching Reddit, especially on r/ROCD, trying to see if someone is like me or if anyone has answers. I keep rereading posts, hoping I’ll feel certain about what I should do. But I just feel more confused. I keep thinking, “What if I heal and then realize I don’t love him?” or “What if I’m only staying because I feel safe with him or I’m used to him?” I feel numb sometimes, or like I’m pretending, and I hate it. I want to feel love and clarity again. I don’t know what’s real or what’s ROCD anymore. I just feel lost and afraid. I talk to hi. now and i feel so strange like i dont want to force myself i want to like him i dont understand what i feel i feel so weird in my chest
- Date posted
- 20w
I’m really anxious because I know my ocd is really bad right now so I shouldn’t try to figure it out cause my thinking is a mess but I’ve been having feelings of like I’m not sure if I love him anymore or worrying that I haven’t felt a lot like numb (a lot because ocd has been getting worse and worse) and thinking of like how I’ve been focusing on the negatives and only been looking at him through that lens and analyzing and also feeling like I don’t want this anymore. Basically just like negative thinking in feeling like I’m really scared it’s that it’s I don’t love him cause I don’t want it to be over and the thought of having someone replace him makes me ill. But like it feels like I’m not seeing him how I used to and it makes me upset. Today I was near someone I was like oh this person is cute and then I was thinking that the possibility of meeting someone new sounds exciting and now I’m freaking out because this in combination with feeling like maybe I don’t love him anymore is bad. Also my thoughts keep changing. and like sometimes it feels like I don’t care at all and this has happened but like worst it’s ever been and then other times I’m like I do care I do still feel. I’m just really anxious has anyone else felt this before and it was still ocd? 😭😭
- Date posted
- 19w
Right now I feel like I’ve realized something awful. Like maybe… I never truly loved my boyfriend. Maybe in the beginning I was just excited to be in a relationship. Maybe I confused that excitement with real love. And when the intrusive thoughts started, maybe it wasn’t ROCD — maybe it was the truth hitting me. I write this and it feels real. That’s the scariest part. It feels calm and clear and like maybe I’ve just been lying to myself all along, holding on because I “should,” not because I truly want to. I can’t remember how it felt to love him — and that makes it worse. I feel so disconnected, so numb, like nothing makes sense anymore. Every time I try to feel something for him, it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m playing a role, not being myself. But the thing is… I’m not at peace. If this was really the truth, why does it hurt so much? Why does this “realization” come with panic, guilt, emptiness, and so much fear? I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this — doubting myself, my feelings, and my past. I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle I can’t break, and I’m scared I’ll always feel this way. Has anyone ever felt like this before?
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