Struggling today. I'm a school employee so we're off for 2 weeks. A break is great and all, but it's too much time on my hands. I don't know for sure why 5 months of quarantine was easy for me and this isn't, but here I am. I can't get in to see my therapist until after the break and that's assuming he's willing to just speak over the phone as opposed to Zoom. I'm trying not to ruminate, but it's been difficult finding something else to focus on.

my therapist isnt avaible for a this week and this weeks been hell, cant focus, i keep getting stuck in my thoughts, if i predict something will happen and it doesnt, my brain gets stuck on what if it did and then my obession keeps going, i keep trying to not pay attention or let go of my thoughts but feels like im in a trance when the thoughts come up and feels hard to snap out of it. also since my ocd is to the point of disability (despite social security keeps denying me) i cant go out much and my fears have been getting more and more dehabilitating and i dont know how to properly fix it, i dont know the right way to respond to these thoughts, i dont know how to let go, its just been super rough and demoralizing...

I hope everyone is doing well! It's been a week or so since I came on the app. I wasn't doing so well, but I promised myself I'd stay off until after my next psychiatrist appointment (two days ago). The appointment didn't last long. I regret not going into more detail with her, but I shared the basics of what I had been dealing with. We're raising my dose (Sertraline) to 100mg. Hopefully, that will do something...? The intrusive thoughts haven't been too bad, but I just feel... blank. There's not a lot going on in my personal life right now, so that might be the main reason. I'm doing okay, though. I've read three books in the past week. I'm about to start my fourth tonight. I don't know if keeping busy in this case is a form of avoidance or not. But I feel depressed if I'm not doing anything, so... here we are! 🥲

my ocd has severely flared up the past 2 weeks while I’ve been on spring break, probably because I’ve had nothing to do and I’ve been bored and boredom is a big trigger for my ocd/anxiety. I usually go every other week for therapy but the past two weeks I feel so lost and confused on my own and feel like I need to go every week but my therapist is booked and can’t get me in until 2 more weeks. My ocd hasn’t been this bad in years, and it’s been so isolating and I feel so alone at home with my thoughts. Every 2-3 days my obsession changes, first it was health ocd after I got really bad allergies I convinced myself I was dying. After that it was harm ocd and I feared I would hurt myself, then it changed to me fearing harming others and I’ve felt scared to be around others even family. I’ve stayed up sobbing because I’ve felt so bad, so terrible. My therapist told me even though she can’t get me in, that if I really need to come in I should call her office and see if she has anything, but I feel like that would be pointless since she quite literally is booked- I’ve been clinging onto the few things I have from my last 2 therapy sessions but feel like it’s not enough. does anyone have any techniques to deal with specifically harm OCD that I can use for the next two weeks?