My Pure OCD/Harm OCD is triggered around my niece and nephew. I fear that because I experienced inappropriate sexual experiences with my cousins and siblings when I was a kid that I am going to turn into a pedophile as an adult. I know that what happened when we were kids was just kids exploring and we didn’t know it was wrong but it has traumatized me now as an adult. I remember reading an article as a kid that said if you were sexually abused as a kid you are more likely to become a pedophile as an adult. It’s really frustrating because I don’t usually get triggered by other kids and I’m generally fine with only mild pure o thoughts that I can control. But when I am left alone with my niece or nephew I get extremely anxious and the pure o thoughts rush in and it’s torture. But I feel okay if I’m with someone else Bcus I feel like I won’t be able to do anything harmful and my niece and nephew are more safe when I’m around others. I know I don’t want to hurt the because I love them and want the best for them. I am very protective of them. But the horrible anxiety and ocd makes me feel otherwise sometimes. I feel I’ll never be able to have kids because of this too. Anyone experience this too?

Those studies are bullshit. Absolute bullshit unless they studied a large population which infect most info is confidential

And yes your thoughts are trying to stick on to past memories and anything that will feed the fear. Hugs your not alone. You can’t change the past.

It is bullshit. I had this deep fear for years and it’s come back recently. And I have two young boys. My thoughts took a re enactment of what happened to me as a child although it started with a general anxious/highly phobic response. Seems my eldest hitting 5 has brought it back and now I’m anxious around sex again. Thinking I don’t deserve it,m because of perverse unwanted thoughts.

Are you in a relationship @jbbb?

I had the same problem. I was abused as a kid and now I think that I will become an abuser wether sexual, verbal, emotional.

@soniclen yes I am in a relationship. My partner is 13 years older than me which triggers me sometimes to think that I subconsciously have an issue and now date older to prove or compensate for this fear? But I do really enoy my partner and their company so it’s probably just my ocd. I’m sorry this fear came back for you! It truly is one of the worst things. My response also became phobic of not wanting to be around kids at all. But that’s not fair to the kids so I just try to suck it up as much as I can and move forward and let thoughts pass as “thoughts” and “ocd” and not me or my moral values as a person. On an instinctual level the idea of someone harming children makes me very deeply hurt and upset. So I know this is my moral value and the ocd is just a trauma that reoccurs. If it makes you feel any better- something I was told by my therapist was that people with pure ocd or harm ocd are actually way more moral and good hearted than others which is why these thoughts deeply affect us and we ruminate. Other people get the thoughts and let it pass or say oh that was weird. I’ve also read that it’s about lack of trust in ourself and our confidence and identity. If you know who you are and reassure yourself of it then you let thoughts pass easier. I know, easier said than done.

@skyl I’m sorry that you also deal with this. It’s truly a burden to bear so I understand how you feel. You’re not alone!

I just remind myself practice makes perfect. Bad thoughts can affect my arousal from time to time (normally when we have an extended break which we have just had as our second child was a very difficult pregnancy and the wife has been tired). So the anxiety creeps back in. I need to learn to accept the anxiety and realise that I can do things differently this time. And accept the change will be slow and steady and not look to ‘fix’ myself which I have tried to do on and off for years. Funnily enough my abuse doesn’t bother me now, it’s the remanifestations that ocd creates from it that creates issues.

I have the same problem... it’s very difficult to deal with, and has made it so that I’m afraid to ever be alone in any situation where children may be present... this includes daily tasks like going to the grocery store, or even going to check the mail at the main mailbox in my neighborhood

As simple as that was it really did make me feel better. Thank you!