- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Those studies are bullshit. Absolute bullshit unless they studied a large population which infect most info is confidential
- Date posted
- 6y
And yes your thoughts are trying to stick on to past memories and anything that will feed the fear. Hugs your not alone. You can’t change the past.
- Date posted
- 6y
It is bullshit. I had this deep fear for years and it’s come back recently. And I have two young boys. My thoughts took a re enactment of what happened to me as a child although it started with a general anxious/highly phobic response. Seems my eldest hitting 5 has brought it back and now I’m anxious around sex again. Thinking I don’t deserve it,m because of perverse unwanted thoughts.
- Date posted
- 6y
Are you in a relationship @jbbb?
- Date posted
- 6y
I had the same problem. I was abused as a kid and now I think that I will become an abuser wether sexual, verbal, emotional.
- Date posted
- 6y
@soniclen yes I am in a relationship. My partner is 13 years older than me which triggers me sometimes to think that I subconsciously have an issue and now date older to prove or compensate for this fear? But I do really enoy my partner and their company so it’s probably just my ocd. I’m sorry this fear came back for you! It truly is one of the worst things. My response also became phobic of not wanting to be around kids at all. But that’s not fair to the kids so I just try to suck it up as much as I can and move forward and let thoughts pass as “thoughts” and “ocd” and not me or my moral values as a person. On an instinctual level the idea of someone harming children makes me very deeply hurt and upset. So I know this is my moral value and the ocd is just a trauma that reoccurs. If it makes you feel any better- something I was told by my therapist was that people with pure ocd or harm ocd are actually way more moral and good hearted than others which is why these thoughts deeply affect us and we ruminate. Other people get the thoughts and let it pass or say oh that was weird. I’ve also read that it’s about lack of trust in ourself and our confidence and identity. If you know who you are and reassure yourself of it then you let thoughts pass easier. I know, easier said than done.
- Date posted
- 6y
@skyl I’m sorry that you also deal with this. It’s truly a burden to bear so I understand how you feel. You’re not alone!
- Date posted
- 6y
I just remind myself practice makes perfect. Bad thoughts can affect my arousal from time to time (normally when we have an extended break which we have just had as our second child was a very difficult pregnancy and the wife has been tired). So the anxiety creeps back in. I need to learn to accept the anxiety and realise that I can do things differently this time. And accept the change will be slow and steady and not look to ‘fix’ myself which I have tried to do on and off for years. Funnily enough my abuse doesn’t bother me now, it’s the remanifestations that ocd creates from it that creates issues.
- Date posted
- 6y
I have the same problem... it’s very difficult to deal with, and has made it so that I’m afraid to ever be alone in any situation where children may be present... this includes daily tasks like going to the grocery store, or even going to check the mail at the main mailbox in my neighborhood
- Date posted
- 6y
As simple as that was it really did make me feel better. Thank you!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Let me start by prefacing that I developed ocd as postpartum ocd after having my first child. I had harm and pocd. I had it on and off for years and then it just eventually went away completely for many years until recently after a stressful life event. Now that it’s back it again targets my children but now my grandchildren also. It’s been horrible and makes me pull away from them. Last night my 6 year old granddaughter threw up in the car when my daughter was about to take her home so my daughter brought her back in the house and asked me to clean her up while she cleaned her car. I had some anxiety about it because of my ocd but I couldn’t say no to helping so I opened the bathroom door and my granddaughter was standing in her underwear waiting for me to clean and dress her. Everything was fine and normal but then for some reason, I have no idea why, I looked down at her chest area. I immediately got so upset and didn’t know why I looked there and now my ocd is saying it’s because i’m a monster. I tried to tell myself it’s just normal human behavior when someone is standing there naked that you look where you shouldn’t simply because it’s just there in front of you but I feel horrible. I don’t feel any inappropriate way about her or any child but my ocd is saying it was inappropriate. Has anyone else been through this?
- Date posted
- 24w
Worried about situation that happened with nephew new memory or not idk I'm scared Worried about situation that happened with nephew I'm so scared when I was holding my nephew I thought " I wonder if this would sexually stimulate him" ( not the exact words don't want to be extremely graphic) I began to bump him like how people bump babies on their hips he was on my stomach cuz that's how he was handed to me. Now I fear I remember also thinking if his diaper would stimulate his private part or something like that IDK LIKE I FEEL LIKE I REMEMBER THINKING THAT BUT ALSO DON'T??? LIKE O FEEL LIKE maybe I thought this at a different time for whatever weird reason but then I'm scared that it makes sense it would happen when I held him. Does it change the situation?????I feel extremely sick because I don't know why I would think that or if it was my brain or me. Idk if it was or wasn't cuz I felt his diaper against me? Was I curious if it would? It feels like I was curious but wth why???Was it just something weird I thought? Am I actually a monster? I had been having disturbing thoughts I'm pretty sure that were related to my POCD in general for a while before that. Ik my nephew didn't get hurt but I'm so scared why would I do something like that I feel so sick and disgusted. I know away from that situation I have no sexual interest or attraction towards him I'm just so freaked out and disgusted. I don't wanna be a bad person and I don't want my worst fear to be true.
- Date posted
- 21w
TW! please someone comment When I was 12 or 13 I used to babysit a little girl, she had a habit of keeping her hand in her diaper and was always touching herself, there was one point I was changing her diaper and noticed she was really red. I had separated her private parts and checked the inner area for signs of infection. She was okay, just some really really bad diaper rash. I know this is what happened yet my brain is trying to convince me that I hurt her, and that I wanted to do it, I know I would never hurt a child but with all the anxiety I feel when I think about it I'm starting to wonder if I did do it because I wanted to hurt her, I don't wanna be a p, I don't wanna hurt innocent children, I used to never have these thoughts but now I do and I'm so scared to tell my therapist as she hasn't diagnosed me with ocd yet. I don't want her to think I'm a p nor do I wanna hurt kids, but my brain keeps telling me that I do and that I'm just lying to myself and everyone around me, ik I would never do something that could harm a child but I keep getting these thoughts and their inappropriate and I just want them to stop, does anyone have any tips on how to help myself? I keep turning to my boyfriend for reassurance but ik that that's just a quick fix and that ill be spiraling about it again.Please help
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