i don’t think i have ocd. i really don’t. yes, i seek reassurance 24/7, ruminate almost all day, check reaction, replay memories over and over, but i don’t have intrusive thoughts like everyone else. also, my hocd started at 11 and is on and off. please someone talk to me.

omg, your hocd started at the same time??? thank you so much for your comment, you really made me feel better. I’m acreally diagnosed with ocd, but i find it really hard to believe my diagnosis.

@doloresguppies yes so i was in like 5th grade when it started! Also denying your diagnosis is not uncommon in ocd. But you need to remember that ocd doesn’t control your actions. when i was recovering i would always tell myself i make the decisions in my life not ocd. it can make me think things but it can’t control me if that makes sense.

@crazyfeelings oh my god i’m actually like in tears 😢 i’ve not known anyone have it start close to mine. I was in 7th grade. was yours on and off as well? do you mind if i ask how you identify now?

@doloresguppies mine was on and off for many years then it stopped and came back my sophomore year but i’m great now! I’m a senior. I identify as straight or heterosexual I know i like men and men only. I still get the thoughts from time to time but it’s just a normal thing, and i have anxiety meds and they help a ton!!

@crazyfeelings that’s so amazing. i’m so glad for you!! if you don’t mind me asking, what did it feel like when it “came back” your sophomore year? mine was a sort of panic attack.

@doloresguppies well a girl was like talking about how she figured out she was a lesbian and i guess it just kinda brought back the thoughts. My brother also came out as gay and it confused me really bad (but that’s not his fault) It was all a buildup of things. Then it was there for a whole year and a half :/

@crazyfeelings i’m so sorry:( but thank you for answering. do you have a discord or instagram? id really appreciate chatting with you

@doloresguppies Aw it’s okay i’m a lot better now! But i don’t love giving my personal information out, um i also don’t have discord. Is there some other way we could talk?☺️

@crazyfeelings i totally understand, no worries. how about if i make a post on here that just the two of us can communicate on?

@doloresguppies yes sure that works!!

i just made it!

@doloresguppies My daughter is in 7th grade and hers is full blown right now . She said every single girl she sees - literally every girl - she feels the need to makeout with them - or she says she only notices girls on tv- the beautiful ones and she feels like “should I kiss them” “do I like them” etc etc —- this all got triggered from watching a TikTok of two girls doing inappropriate things. It totally totally sucks. It’s Hard to cope for her sometimes and it’s hard for me too see too. How old are you now doloresguppies

@crazyfeelings How did your ocd start if you don’t mind me asking - you were super super young - usually at the time when girls start questioning their sexual orientation ? And did your parents know ? And how did you get out of it ?

@crazyfeelings Wow that’s commendable! I would love to hear how you dealt with it from 5th grade onwards - my daughter literally looks at every single girl and feels like she is attracted to them or could kiss them. Every single girl . Do I just give it time and let time takes its course ?

@rachel1219 Sorry if I’m being too personal

Just like @doloresguppies I feel like I don’t have hocd and I’m in denial somehow. I still haven’t been diagnosed I start therapy in two weeks but I feel like I don’t have it and it makes me upset😔

@Ximena G Like I feel the more I research/learn about ocd the more I feel like I don’t have it, is that normal at all?:/

@Ximena G i totally relate. i honestly find it triggering to read about other people’s experiences sometimes becayse i feel like it’s so clear that they have ocd and i don’t

@doloresguppies Yeah same here, like you I don’t have instrusive thoughts which leads me to believe that I don’t have ocd, even though I had a what if I’m gay thought. Like after that I never saw anything the same, hearing the word gay, or conversations about sexual orientation, seeing gay people and just seeing girls all makes me anxious like I just don’t understand this I’ve always liked guys and only wanted to be with guys and after this I just feel like I don’t know who I am anymore:/

@Ximena G i really feel like i don’t have intrusive thoughts and it really scares me.

@doloresguppies I know I’m like really terrified, at first I did I had the what if I’m gay thought and I reacted to it but yeah I don’t have those thoughts anymore:/

@Ximena G This is exactly what my daughter says !!! She says the same line “I just don’t know who I am anymore”- she is a 7th grader- how old are you ?

@rachel1219 I’m 21! This started two years ago a month after I turned 19

Thank you - you have been very helpful. During this time when you had HOCD or felt like you were a lesbian - did you feel like you were looking at every single girl wondering how it would be like to be with her , kiss her , etc etc. sometimes even convinced you were 100 percent gay

do you think having it start around the time most people start questioning their sexuality makes it less likely to be ocd ?

@rachel1219 well for me it was like the thought of “what if i want to be with her” it was never completely “oh i want to date that girl” like i didn’t actually want to and i knew i didn’t but my ocd kept telling me “what if you do though?” if that makes sense

@crazyfeelings Yes... it’s almost the same... my daughters ocd has come to a point where she says she is convinced she is gay And she thinks about it all day long .... sometimes there are good days- sometimes not so much

@doloresguppies no i don’t think so. because like i said i have a gay brother and me and him actually talked about it and the feelings i had and the feelings he had during puberty were 2 completely different things. I was worried about being a lesbian, while my brother knew he was gay but he was scared to come out.

@crazyfeelings me too, it was never like “i want to be with her” it was like “do i want to be with her? is that something i like?”

@rachel1219 that’s so sad :/ i’m so sorry she feels like that. maybe take her to an ocd therapist if you have one near you! they can help a lot :)

@crazyfeelings Got it - ya I told my daughter - it’s ok if you feel like your gay- we are here to support to you - she said “it worries me that down the line I see myself with a woman when I have only seen myself with a man “

@crazyfeelings And then she says I just don’t know who I am anymore

@doloresguppies exactly it was never 100% knowing anything. it was all questioning!

@crazyfeelings She is going to one now . She does anything and everything to stay preoccupied with her stuff so the thoughrs don’t come back.

@crazyfeelings sorry if this is a little too personal, but did you experience any groinal responses?

@rachel1219 good!!! i hope she gets better. it feels so freeing once all the thoughts stop i can’t explain it. i remember the day when they slowly started disappearing it was the best feeling ever. i don’t how to explain but trust me all the work she is doing is going to make everything so much better.

@crazyfeelings Yes she never wants to come out say it .... I told her it’s ok if you are gay... we will support you- she says “I’m not settled on that “ —- the one thing that scares her more is that she comes sometimes to me and says “mom I think I’m liking the thoughrs “ and I’m like “it’s ok you don’t have to be scared - thinking someone is sexually attractive doesn’t change your orientation- for the first three months I didn’t even know what was going on

@doloresguppies no you’re fine it’s not personal. But uh i had them every once in awhile it was not a lot it was like very rarely. But everyone has different experiences so it could be worse for others. It didn’t happen much for me though

@crazyfeelings How did they start disappearing ? By you just accepting them and sitting in the anxiety ? Or you actually having a crush on the opposite gender ?

@crazyfeelings sorry i’m just kind of freaking out because mine started in 7th grade and it lin of began with groinal responses? i’m sorry i know i shouldn’t be comparing our experiences but i can’t help but feel that yours is actually ocd and mine isn’t. i really feel like i KNOW mine isn’t.

@rachel1219 so they started disappearing because i just started to accept them. i would just always tell myself “it’s ocd not me” Or i would say “maybe i am or maybe i’m not”. Understanding that these are just thoughts and not real feelings almost. Then your brain will understand that these thoughts aren’t that important then they won’t pop up as much.

@doloresguppies well that’s an ocd thing to say!!! don’t compare anything to other peoples feelings, i used to do that all the time. The way you feel is valid and many people go through it. Please don’t freak out, just breath and sit with the thoughts. It’s normal to question everything with ocd! <3

@crazyfeelings thank you ❤️ so you think it’s ocd?

@doloresguppies well i can tell your reassurance seeking but it might be it might not be just tell yourself that. I don’t want to give the compulsions any more fuel to there fire.

@crazyfeelings Thank you- I’m so happy you have been able to overcome . So there is hope these thoughts will disseapear?

@crazyfeelings Sometimes she will say “my brain is convincing me that I need to be gay “ or I think I need to be in the position of being “gay”. I tell her - I don’t think you get a choice - your sexual orientation is your sexual orientation

@crazyfeelings Sometimes it’s even hard to see as a mother... helping her cope and all

@rachel1219 yes my mom had a really hard time with it because she felt terrible for me. My sophomore year i didn’t really tell her either so i was just suffering in silence and she feels so bad about it still :/ but i was doing what i needed to do to recover. And yes there is hope! She will get better, my intrusive thoughts pop up sometimes but once you learn to cope with them it’s so easy to just keep going on with your day!

@crazyfeelings Can I ask what triggered it again in 10th grade when you were fully sexually in tune ? I would be curious to know

@rachel1219 well my brother came out as gay and that kinda confused me just because i was so sure he wasn’t gay so that kinda made me question things. then this girl was talking about being bisexual and it just confused me even more so the thoughts came back full force. Not blaming my brother at all because i fully accept him but it was very confusing for me!! But when we talked about it this year he told me he knew i was 100% not a lesbian because he knows how it feels to be confused and my confusion was different than his. I should’ve just talked to him about it when i started getting the thoughts but i was scared he wouldn’t understand.

@crazyfeelings What were his kind of Confusion ? And I’m assuming his confusion was super early on and not later in life ? What kind of thoughts did you have when you were a sophmore? Like looking at other girls and wondering ?

@crazyfeelings Sometimes my 13 year old will say something like “I feel like this girl is pretty and I’m not sure I feel attracted to her but I don’t know ... I don’t want to go digging through my brain”

@rachel1219 so he wasn’t really confused, he knew he liked guys. he was more confused as to why he likes guys, he was scared to come out as well. he didn’t know how we would react. his feelings were so different than mine. Yes bud confusion was very early in life, he said he’s felt like that since he was little but he didn’t realize when he was younger if you get what i mean. but once he hit puberty he knew he just denied it, like he knew he was but he wanted to be straight to make everyone else happy. So my thoughts i had when i was a sophomore was a lot of like “what if i’ve always been a lesbian and i don’t know”, or “what if i have a crush on my friend”. I even had one intrusive thought that made me think i liked my cousin lyric and i’ve been close with her when i was younger so it was TERRIBLE. I stopped talking to certain people to because i was afraid i liked them. I also did look at other girls and wonder. I would always think a girl is pretty which is so normal! But when you have ocd it seems like a terrible thing to think, i thought it meant i liked the girl, but i really just wanted to look like her.

@crazyfeelings So she just told me a bit ago she was thinking in the car about a show when a girl comes out after she is married to a man - she is afraid that might be her- she says she looks at girls and has intrusive thoughts - she also says she has a crush on a boy but her brain blocks that and tells her she needs to be in a position of being “gay”. She said all the girls she looks at she feels like she is “attracted “ too including her cousin.... who is also a female....she hates these thoughrs she said .... it just doesn’t seem normal for someone who would be gay....

@crazyfeelings Ocd makes it feel so real

@crazyfeelings Did your brother actually have crushes on othrr boys ? like romantic crushes?

@crazyfeelings Can I ask if you were on any medication ? Some of her thoughts seem so so real and then some thoughrs seem like pure HOCD. She just scared of the fact that if she thinks a girl is pretty and attractive- it must mean she is gay. She creates imagine fake same sex scenarios in her head when she is in the shower- she thinks about this all day long. I’m sure your brother didn’t think about it all day long.

@crazyfeelings Yes same with my daughter - she is worried about being a lesbian- because time and time I have assured her it’s ok whatever your sexuality is - I will support her- but she never gets settled on that answer - she is always worried about being a lesbian. I asked her if it has to do with society judging her - she said nope

@rachel1219 Some people may have different fears/obsessions surrounding themes. Not one person is exactly alike. For me, society and acceptance is a small factor besides just not wanting to be with women at all. It’s the fear of what others would think since I’ve just been with men like it would be embarrassing to go from men to women (and this is just personalized to myself) I don’t have the fear of coming out and even my mom has assured me that whatever it is I am it would be okay but this didn’t help and drove the fear of “omg she thinks I’m gay now.” Because I put negative connotations around being gay growing up due to surroundings, I always concluded how terrible that would be and it would be the end of the world if I was and this drove my fears. I had always loved men and still do, but my fear of “hiding/surpressing it” or “just now realizing I am” drive my hocd

@Corie Got it. I think my daughter is too little to understand what even being men means . She has crushes on guys ... but she hasn’t even held a guy’s hand before.

@rachel1219 That’s what makes things so so hard

@rachel1219 so my brother did have crushes on guys. like serioussss crushes on guys, like very romantic ones. he’s told me about them. so i wasn’t on any medication when i was dealing with it but i’m on medication now for my anxiety, and it helps with my ocd as well! Also no amount of reassurance can make anyone feel better. Ocd makes you feel like you need to figure out what’s going on IMMEDIATELY even though you really don’t. Like you said you can’t settle on the correct answer ever. You seem like a great mother i’m so glad you’re supporting her through this hard time!!!

@Corie yep i 100% agree with all of this!!

@rachel1219 It is hard! Another core fear of mine would be leaving my boyfriend and not living my life with a man like I’ve always desired. Finding core fears, exposing, accepting uncertainties, and breaking down irrationalities driven from these fears (without reassurance or compulsions) is the best way to get better! A lot easier said than done, it will take time and feel like you’re failing a lot of times but it can get better!

@crazyfeelings Yes her crushes are on guys - but she says her brain blocks her from seeing that ... she says her brain doesn’t want her to see that

@rachel1219 Makes sense. Mine did the same thing, completely ignored the crushes i had. I couldn’t even date any guys i liked either!! This is all super normal stuff for ocd. She’s super strong :)

@crazyfeelings I hope she pulls through- it’s so hard sometimes to see her

@rachel1219 She will pull through!! It might take time everyone’s ocd is different, it’s not easy. But with your help and with the therapists help you have she should be able to do it!

@rachel1219 People do say they lose attraction to the desired sex and then are more hyper aware of the same sex (or whatever so-ocd/ depending on how someone identifies), and it makes feel like evidence/proof. I also have this but have to accept that attraction may not be there now or later, as said before it all depends on the individual

@rachel1219 She will pull through, already seems she has a GREAT support system!!

@crazyfeelings She also went back to in person school - and that makes things a bit harder for her - she said that once she sees any pretty girl - an intrusive thought hits her hard and she tries to sit through it - she also has a friend who is a 7th grader as well and rhis friend came out and told the other friends she is gay - but she was pretty confident about it and she said she has known since the 2nd grade- like no doubt in her mind. Not like my daughter questioning and ruminating and she said her first crush was a girl and even today all her crushes are girls. So I try to remind my daughter of that- but she said her brain blocks it and it wants her to be in the position of being “gay “. What does being in the position of being gay mean??? Either you are or are not....

@crazyfeelings How did your mother console you

@Corie Oh ok got it

@crazyfeelings If you don’t mind me asking - which medication? She is taking Zoloft - and I truly have no idea if it’s helping her- it’s a super baby dose -25 mg

@Corie My daughter has no fears about that - but she is scared as to why she even finds a girl remotely attractive which automatically means she is gay

@rachel1219 i feel like what she means by that is her thoughts make her feel like she needs to be gay. like it feels so real she just thinks the thoughts want her to be gay maybe? i’m not completely sure. but my mom actually had a hard time understanding it at first. she just didn’t know i was struggling that hard. but once she figured it out she started off by just being there when i was sad. i tried not to talk to her about it too much because it made the thoughts worse. because i used her as reassurance because she always told me i wasn’t and it made me feel better. she was basically just there to help me if i needed it. she actually at one point thought i was over it all but little did she know i was suffering in silence because i wanted to recover on my own. so honestly my mom helped in different ways. not helping me was what i needed, she figured out that she was almost making the thoughts worse with the reassurance. if that makes sense

@crazyfeelings Yep I can understand- and then she told me she gets super anxious when he is around girls and uncomfortable sometimes and has intrusive thoughts. It’s so hard sometimes because you are discovering your own sexuality - she told me last night before this happened she never questioned her sexuality once - not even once- now it’s al day everyday - so maybe I’ll do what your mom Did - just help her if she needed it.

@Corie Really ? I did not know this - this is good to know - hoping the attraction for the opposite sex returns ...

@crazyfeelings Oh ok ... got it... did they start when he was little - because my daughter’s friend who is saying she is 100 percent gay had her first crush on the same sex in 2nd grade... and ever since then only had crushes on girls.....

@Corie Do you mean like they become nervous and anxious around the same sex ? Did you have that happen with you ?

@rachel1219 yeah he said it’s been like that since he was very young. But yeah my mom just helped me when i physically felt like i couldn’t deal with it anymore. She pushed me to get better though and i think that’s what got me to where i am. And i never ever questioned my sexuality either. like it was just a one time thing, and it was so scary and weird. I never worried about it when i was younger.

@crazyfeelings Got it - ya it has gotten her completely mentally debilitated . Completely. It’s hard to see it sometimes. I think regarding heterosexual or homosexual- they are suppose to make you feel good- not completely debilitate you. Did you ever when you were going through this get anxious around pretty girls - she feels like her anxiety goes through the roof during this time

@rachel1219 yes i always got anxious around pretty girls. it was terrible like the worst anxiety i’ve ever felt.

@crazyfeelings Yes she feels it - it’s so hard - I feel we are right in the jist- last week - she was making a list of both genders “pros and cons”- I just don’t think is something normal regardless of if you are gay or not- sounds like ruminating or compulsions. The worst is when she is says my brain is convincing me that I need to be “gay”.

@crazyfeelings Do you still get any anxiety ??

@rachel1219 I get anxious around the same sex if I think they are pretty/attractive. Even not if I just glance or stare at them my mind goes straight to it’s because “I’m gay” which causes me to be very uncomfortable, anxious, and it makes it all the more convincing and hard for me to feel like myself. Feels like I’m lying to myself and my boyfriend which then brings in the chronic guilt.

@Corie Yes this is the same thing that happens to my daughter and then she says it goes a step further where she has an intrusive thought . It truly sucks

@crazyfeelings I also didn’t question if I was before! I knew I liked guys but was just insecure because I got aroused watching lesbian porn, or same sex erotica type things. That made me insecure because from a very young age I thought only lesbians liked or watched it and if anyone knew they would think I’m gay. So I always just had a lingering fear of others thinking I am and not wanting to come off as a lesbian. This is just all personal to me though although I’ve heard others express this as well.

@rachel1219 It is a nightmare to deal with and very debilitating, I definitely don’t feel the same as how I was before or as “happy” although I try my best to do the things that make me happy and live with the uncomfortableness of hocd

@Corie This is almost the same thing that happened to my daughter- she watched TikTok with two girls doing something .... and then she felt aroused or excited or nervous or curious so she watched it again !! And again ... and. Then one of our friends daughter came over and she was wearing a low cut shirt and my daughter noticed her bra - she correlated the two to “I’m gay now “... she was in tears when she first told me she told me “my inkling to boys has gone down too so I’m turning gay mom”. It’s the most heartbreaking thing to say - now every single girl she sees is a sexual intrusive thought and she feels attracted to them .... or she says ... when I was her age (12) I remember thinking a lot of girls are pretty /hot / etc but never debilitating like this - and then what scares her even more is she says sometimes she likes the thoughts- like it’s hard for her .

@Corie How old are you btw if you don’t mind me asking

@crazyfeelings My daughter also told me today she was in dance class and the girls were wearing leggings and she felt uncomfortable- and then she scanned the room and asked herself a bunch of questions... “do I like any of them “ “ would I want to be with any of them ... etc etc “ all these vague unknown questions that she has no answers to...... she is also saying that she is getting uncomfortable around the opposite gender and she can’t tell if she is shy or uncomfortable... this actually sucks ... wondering if this happened to you

@rachel1219 I’m 24, this hit me right before I turned 21 when I was with my first boyfriend and he would tell me to tell him when I climaxed during sex and I didn’t ever with him and my first intrusive thought was because I thought if I didn’t then it meant I was gay and the questioning and constant worrying/fear came from that.

@Corie I’m Sorry to hear dear. It can’t be easy in any perspective. My daughter is going through the same thing. I am trying to help her

@rachel1219 sorry i haven’t answered in awhile i’ve been working!!! but yes i get anxiety still, the thoughts pop up sometimes too but it’s very rare. but with my recovery i’m able to tell it’s ocd so i know how to control it. i have terrible anxiety aside from just ocd so sometimes it triggers it. Also yes i would 100% question everything no matter who the girl was. It was miserable!! And i also felt uncomfortable around the opposite sex i felt like “they thought i was a lesbian” or “what if i don’t even like guys anymore” which made me very uncomfortable

@Corie I’m so sorry you’re going through this!! But a lot of what you’re feeling i felt as well. If you need to talk i’m here always <3

@crazyfeelings This is all true. I totally agree - my daughter has terrible anxiety too and the Zoloft just isn’t seeming to help. What medications do you take ? And do you do talk therapy still or just medication? My daughter initially did talk therapy with someone who wasn’t an HOCD specialist and she said to her “it’s ok it doesn’t matter who you are attracted to—- and that made my daughter even downward spiral even more “.

@crazyfeelings I also feel if I bring up the topic in the house she doesn’t hear anything I’m saying but if she brings it up I should be able to talk to her about it - did you have that -I have to be good as well and not bring up the topics

@crazyfeelings I can’t believe you went through it twice .... it’s amazing how you are coping ... just amazing

@rachel1219 i take hydroxyzine it’s been very helpful for me! So he has one side effect it can make you tired but that’s it, it’s not an addictive med. I really like it, you can take it as you need it too! I never did talk therapy actually because i was scared to do it so i just take medication. Also hocd specialist thing is super important in a therapist! Normal therapists can make the situation SO much worse!! Yes i would say don’t bring up the topics, unless she needs your help. If she brings them up talk about it comfort her, but don’t reassure her. (i know that’s soooo hard as a mother)

@rachel1219 thank you so much!! It’s been super hard but honestly this app helped me a lot. When i was going through it there were so many people on here helping me.

@crazyfeelings Your right it is so super hard and this is the same reason she never wanted to do therapy ! She hates it - she hates talking about it — she is on Zoloft ... she has an appt with her psychiatrist next week and I will speak to him regarding her medication....

@crazyfeelings Yes not bringing up the topics are so so hard for me .—- I always want to know if she is ok

@rachel1219 yes i 100% understand. it takes time but she will be able to do it! Also always talk to the therapists about things you think can be changed because if she seems like she doesn’t want to talk to them she might not be telling them everything. So if you know she’s having trouble with something don’t be afraid to tell the therapist!!

@crazyfeelings She was in the shower today having thoughts about being gay ... her brain is convincing her that she needs to be gay gay gay .... the thoughrs bother her ... she commented on girls that look pretty today and then wondered if she needs to be with them ... it’s like a never ending cycle.....

@rachel1219 yeah it feels like a never ending cycle as well. it’s super sad. the thing is once she accepts that she makes her decisions in her life she will feel better. maybe tell her that even if she was that way she can decide who she wants to be with. she can date a guy, her life her rules. ocd can’t tell her what to do.

@crazyfeelings I def will tell her this - if I tell her she will say I don’t know what I want anymore - I’ll just have to go with the flow on it when she says it.

@rachel1219 yep exactly just let her figure some things out. it’s super confusing but she’s got this!

@crazyfeelings My daughter sometimes claims that the feelings feel so real- that is the disturbing part

@crazyfeelings She says she wants to be done with these thoughts but at the same time she says her brain is halfway convinced her she is gay ... she is saying it’s almost going to convince her.

@rachel1219 That sounds so terrible :( She seems so confused.

@crazyfeelings Yes it’s shitty - I try not to talk about it - but I want to help her .... I don’t understand how your brain can convince you ... she says she finds so many girls pretty and she cannot understand why she finds them pretty but she wants the thoughts to go away

@rachel1219 I would tell her that a lot of girls think that! Straight girls are allowed to look at girls and think they are pretty. It’s different, you’re only gay if you want to be in a relationship with them, or other things but i won’t talk about that haha. It’s normal to think some other girls are pretty!

@crazyfeelings Yep I def tell her that it’s very normal

@rachel1219 it sucks because from such a young age being gay has seemed like a terrible thing to so many kids so no wonder it is a ocd thing. It’s so sad it’s like that because who cares who you like!!!! I wish it wasn’t such a big deal for the sake of not only hocd people but also people who are also homosexual. Life shouldn’t be this hard for others :(

@crazyfeelings How come the ocd doesn’t let you see the boys you are crushing on

@rachel1219 She says her brain completely blocks that out

@rachel1219 so for me i knew i liked a guy but ocd made me think i was lying almost. not sure why it does that, but it does and it makes everything worse.

@crazyfeelings Yes ! She has a crush on a boy named remy and the other day she was in school with him and she noticed what he was wearing head to toe and she noticed that in Spanish class he said he didn’t like cantaloupes and then she told me about it all and then she goes “i don’t even know if my atttraction to remy feels the same anymore mumma... it’s going down”

@rachel1219 Like ok????

@rachel1219 How do I answer that as a mother ? I told her you don’t always always always have to have a crush on a guy in your life ... there will be periods where you have a crush on no one —it does not make you gay... at all

@crazyfeelings Sometimes she says her brain convinces her that she wants to do stuff with them and that scares her and then she gets even more scared- she creates these same sex scenarios in her head ...

@rachel1219 it’s her mind ruminating. her ocd has made her brain think it’s a serious thought, she’s going to think about it all the time. it’s kinda like the white elephant theory. so basically if you talk about a white elephant and try to not think about it you will keep thinking about it. because you’re trying to push something away so you’re brain is bringing it back. It’s the same way with ocd, she wants to push the thoughts away so it gives the thoughts a sort of importance, the brain will keep pushing back to the front of her mind. she kinda has to make her brain think it isn’t important. it’s super hard to explain but i’m sure the ocd therapist can explain it a million times better!

@crazyfeelings Thank you so much - I see hope when I talk to you.... she says she finds a lot of girls pretty.... but she is like “I want my normal life back”.—- I just don’t think this is how gay people talk -

@rachel1219 i wish she knew how normal it is to think a girl is pretty :( it was the same way with me. so so confusing. but there is hope always in every situation!! she will come out of it stronger then ever. It took me awhile to just get so over it. but when i did i would literally say “honestly i don’t care anymore if im a lesbian then i am”. That’s a huge step in recovery when you just get so over it you stop caring.

@crazyfeelings Your right . I tell her the same thing

@crazyfeelings She says she is so exhausted from the thoughrs she just wants to be done..... I am praying the thoughrs start going down

@crazyfeelings How did your thoughrs start going down ? Did you just sit in them and one day they just started going down

@crazyfeelings Did you have a time where you questioned your current crushes that you had during ocd ? Or even questioned being attracted to the opposite gender ? My daughter does that and she said she is scared because she only finds females attractive and doesn’t know if she is even looking at the guys

@rachel1219 She even questioned this morning if she likes her crush