- Username
- JennyJ
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Here are my thoughts. You said that he doesn't understand that your thoughts are OCD thoughts but as of my experience OCD thoughts are just thoughts all people get through their life the difference is how much we obsess about them. Anybody in a relationship might get that similar thought. And it would be hard for a person without OCD to feel what you would feel. Heck i didn't understand what was wrong with me when i went through it but now i am over it and know better i would say any normal person can fall into that circle. It's all good as long he is sympathetic with you when you tell him you going through bad thoughts, you don't need him to understand how exactly it is bothering. At the end you are the only one who can help urself
You are right, thank you for being so helpful. I agree, there are no ocd thoughts. And of course, I am aware that it is not his responsibility to get me out of the loop, I just would appreciate having more support and understanding. Thank you for replying :)
Sorry I made a hell of a lot of typos
agreed ! a month ago i had a panic attack sober bc i used to get them high . needless to say i don’t hang out with bad influences anymore . i was also taking my friends birth control that was a high dosage . so unsafe . so i had a panic attack december 18th and it made me fear death so i have harm ocd rn . before hand i was always down to try new things i didn’t fear anything really . it really can happen to anyone
but i’m doing therapy for ocd !
as of last week
Thank you for sharing your experience my dear. Thank you for your words. I'm wishing you the best. Hugs
@JennyJ same to you thank you so much . the birth control has made my hormones go everywhere and the weed gave me so much fear . for as long as i could remember i always had the mindset that nothing bad could ever happen to me i could never have ocd or any of those fears but it happened and that’s perfectly fine
@JennyJ My hormones play tricks on me too. I see you. I see what you mean. Know you have my support and you are not alone in your journey.
@JennyJ thank you so much
Hello everyone! I am not the one having OCD, but my boyfriend does, and it is combined with depression. He hides it pretty well (he doesn't want to make me or any other person sad) and acts like everything is normal most of the time (makes everyone laugh etc. - like many other depressed people) even though I know he suffers a lot. We know each other on a very deep level and I am the only person who he has told about having OCD and depression, and I just want to help him as much as I can. The thing is that he has a lot of negative thoughts most of the time and if he doesn't do something, for example, claps his hands 8 times, he believes 100% something bad is going to happen to me, like I'm gonna get hurt or something. At the moment it is not possible for him to talk to specialized OCD therapist as there is not one in the area where we live in, but I am confident that I can help him or, even better, guide him, so he helps himself, so that he, at least, suffers less from this. What advice would you give me? I know that I shouldn't be too pushy or telling him what I think he should do. I just want him to know that I'm there for him and that, even though I cannot understand what he's going through, I can at least educate myself about OCD (I've seen some self-help books you posted here) and talk to him about what I've read, because I think it is better to talk about it rather than him hiding it and suffering in silence.. This is how I thought I could help him: When I see or when he tells me that compulsions are happening or going to happen, I'm gonna let him know that he is not going through this alone and that he can trust me. Then I will ask him to tell me what kind of thoughts are going through his mind at the moment, and if he, for example, tells me that he thinks something bad is gonna happen to me I'm gonna tell him to try not to do any compulsive behaviour and try to, no matter how hard it is at the moment, accept that thought and repeat after me: You are safe. I am safe. We are always going to be safe. Only good things happen to us and always will. I believe that if this is done constantly that it will make his OCD more managenable (and depression as well). I would really appreciate any comment, expert or from a person having a similar experience that my boyfriend has. I really want to help him. Thank you! ❤
Feeling so lost and overwhelmed. My ocd has been focused on my boyfriend for the past year. We had a rough patch and he made some new friends at work. I then became obsessed he fancied one of them and went through all his messages and obsessively questioned him. He has stood by the fact he didn’t like her like that and other people who speak to him about it think he didn’t. He’s spoken to my therapist and tried to help, but I just can’t get it in my head he’s not lying. The things I believe to be ‘evidence may aren’t really telling. I found out they were still chatting on insta once she left his company but the convo was fairly platonic - they were just talking about work and the new people. She did make a comment it would be more fun if I was still there, but she is french so there is a slight language barrier (I thought this sounded flirty). She also messaged him about a festival she was at with her boyfriend. He said they are very in love and moved in together and from her social media they seem that way. I also once came home and picked up his phone and it opened onto a video of her he’d been watching which he’d filmed of her falling asleep in the office. He said he’d just been flicking through his videos but I became obsessed he was really missing her. All my family and friends think he’s telling the truth. He’s taken me to doctors appointments and keeps telling me the power is in my hands. I told him the other day I’ve spent the past year imagining the things I believe to be true and negatively reinforcing it and said it’s hard to unlearn. He was upset by this and said why have you done that when I’m not lying. He said that if what he’s told me isn’t enough that’s okay. Maybe I can’t get over the fact he had this friend and I can’t trust what he said. Prior to this we’d been together happily for 5 years. He’s now said we’ve spent a year unhappy, me not trusting him and breaking down. He said he wants to really move on with life, start saving for a house etc and has asked me to draw a line under this. He’s broken up with me 3 times in the past to give me a wake up call that he cannot take the questioning and yet I still feel I don’t believe him. I was cheated on in the past and I think that’s really traumatised me. I don’t want my ocd to force me to leave him. It’s seems so unfair, had I not had ocd I wouldn’t have viewed it like this. But maybe I can’t get over it - even though nothing has happened. I feel so bad for putting him through this and so bad I’m not helping myself either. Just want some kind words. Has anyone else ever had their ocd stop them from being able to see things clearly or how other people do?
First time posting! My therapist recommended that I give this app a look. Hopefully this isn’t too much to read and a another trigger warning for anyone sensitive to SA and sexual themes (straight and gay). Anyways I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now and he is my first. During the first year we were together, I actually got diagnosed with OCD and ADHD. Was on meds for both but stopped because I didn’t want to be reliant on meds and wanted to overcome them without it. The OCD started off with ROCD. I constantly had thoughts about cheating on him and leaving him because “I’m not his type” or he only got with me because he’s desperate. I freak out sometimes when he looks at my phone because I think that I downloaded a dating app and a notification will pop up. I would constantly ask for reassurance from him and make sure he loved me for who I am. I constantly felt guilty and had anxiety attacks whenever the thoughts came in. The thoughts deceive me into thinking that I’m unhappy with the relationship and that it’s doomed to end. Then it evolved into SO-OCD. A quick backstory was that I always and only had crushes on boys up until college. I went to an art school where most of not all of the girls were part of the LGBT+. I think that influenced me to be more “open” with my sexuality. I had a friend who was a girl who I “developed” a crush on. I’m pretty sure it was because I liked the attention and being influenced by a lot of my friends. What makes me think it was just because of attention was that I never thought about the sexual part. I was very lonely and craved any amount of attention and I was desperately wanting to be loved. I never dated anyone in my life and it showed. I even confessed but she rejected me. Later I was constantly sexualized by who I thought were my friends. I was even molested and groped by a girl while I was drunk and high and was about to pass out. Ever since then I’ve been very cautious around female friends especially if I’ve been drinking. When I was confident enough to go on dating apps I only put interested in men since I was sure I am straight. My SO-OCD makes me not trust the women in my life and not to get close to any female. I have thoughts that I am a lesbian in denial and that I am lying to everyone around me. That I’m leading my boyfriend on and that I should be with a women. Looking at myself in the mirror and imagining a lesbian lifestyle. When I try on certain clothes or get my hair done I think “I look so gay” or “I should get a pixie cut or shave my head so I look more gay”. (I’m sorry if that part offends anyone i’m just repeating my thoughts). I have detailed visions in my head of my having sex with women even though the thought repulses me. I get triggered from looking at a gay couple or even having conversations with a woman in the store. I constantly think that I should ask them out even though I have a boyfriend and I’m not really interested. I even have thoughts of messaging my family and coming out. I feel so guilty looking at my boyfriend and having those thoughts cloud my mind. Recently it’s been getting so bad that I’m convinced im completely gay and that im not attracted to him anymore. Sometimes I wish that I didn’t go to that college and maybe none of these thoughts would happen. I also feel that my OCD is invalidated because of my past. Like the OCD uses it as leverage to validate the intrusive thoughts. It makes me feel like I’m never going to get over this sometimes. I’m lucky enough to have the most amazing and understand boyfriend. Even though it is hard to tell him my thoughts he doesn’t judge me at all or take it personally. I feel super guilty whenever I get these thoughts because I love him to death. He means a the world to me and it kills me that I have these thoughts. Couldn’t ask for someone better to fight the OCD battle with. If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I appreciate it a lot and hopefully it wasn’t too much at a time. ❤️
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